# Would you be comfortable sharing a dressing room with a gay person?? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005 "2013-06-27T01:58:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/141 "2013-06-27T16:13:39Z")
This thread is so stupid. People who feel like this need to grow the hell up and not be such a pussy. Stop caring so much what other people might think. That’s how a man acts. Not like some sniveling little boy who is afraid a scary gay man might see his ass. ---
**Author:** ![Hbns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hbns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hbns)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/142 "2013-06-27T16:14:05Z")
In the almost 40 years I have been playing organized hockey, I am certain I have shared locker rooms with quite a few gay men, and probably a couple of gay women too. With the increasing number of women in hockey, it is getting more and more common to find them in the locker room of rec league games and the like. Sometimes they opt to dress separate, but more often they dress with the guys. To be honest it was a little weird the first time I found myself in a locker room with a woman. But it was misplaced anxiety on my part. As long as everybody respects each others personal space and keeps their eyes to themselves, it doesn’t really matter who is in the locker room with you. I would be uncomfortable if some guy (or gal) was commenting on the size of my or other people’s junk, and generally being sexually crude. But that wouldn’t be the fault of a homosexual or opposite gender in the locker room. That would be the fault of a person acting like a putz. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/143 "2013-06-27T16:20:52Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > She can grow up to be anyone she wants to be. > > Just like when you grow up, you can be who you want to be Excellent. Thanks! I want to be the guy who has a separate shower stall in the dressing room 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/144 "2013-06-27T16:22:28Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Excellent. Thanks! > > I want to be the guy who has a separate shower stall in the dressing room 😉 What, exactly, is it you’re afraid of or uncomfortable about? Imagine you’re taking a shower. There is a guy showing 6 feet away from you. He’s not gay. Now, imagine he is gay. What’s the difference? ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/145 "2013-06-27T16:33:38Z")
Yeah, I don’t get the fear. As has been pointed out, if you have spent time in a locker room, you probably have shared it with a gay person. What is there to be afraid of? ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/146 "2013-06-27T16:35:53Z")
You guys understand the difference between just feeling uncomfortable and an outright shivering-in-my boots fear, dont you?! ---
**Author:** ![I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@I\_Made\_French\_Toast\_For\_You](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Made_French_Toast_For_You)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/147 "2013-06-27T16:39:03Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > I will admit I’m a bit homophobic > [@Esco](#): > > I’ve already admitted I’m slightly homophobic > [@Esco](#): > > I’m homophobic :rolleyes: I’m not convinced you’re actually homophobic. But for some reason that is incomprehensible to me, it seems like you want to be seen that way. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/148 "2013-06-27T16:39:52Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > You guys understand the difference between just feeling uncomfortable and an outright shivering-in-my boots fear, dont you?! Are you a 12 year old girl? Do you know how whiny you sound? Take your stupid shower, get dressed, and go. No one cares. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/149 "2013-06-27T16:40:05Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > You guys understand the difference between just feeling uncomfortable and an outright shivering-in-my boots fear, dont you?! You do understand that your homophobia is irrational, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/150 "2013-06-27T16:41:49Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > You do understand that your homophobia is irrational, don’t you? Thats a matter of opinion, not a matter of fact ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/151 "2013-06-27T16:44:00Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Thats a matter of opinion, not a matter of fact It’s a matter of fact unless you can give us a rational reason for it. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/152 "2013-06-27T16:44:34Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Thats a matter of opinion, not a matter of fact Okay. So give us the factual, rational basis for your “homophobia.” ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/153 "2013-06-27T16:48:26Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Okay. > So give us the factual, rational basis for your “homophobia.” Because it makes him “uncomfortable!” ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/154 "2013-06-27T16:49:52Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > I think thats a fair statement. > > Thats why I think in amateur and pro sports its time we start segregating dressing rooms based on sexual preferences. Men and women should have separate change rooms, and gay and straight athletes should as well Ah, separate but equal. And here I thought we had gotten away from that for good in the 60s. > [@Esco](#): > > Thats the same as saying your fear of heights (aerophobia) is stupid. > Or your fear of spiders (arachnophobia) is stupid. > > People can’t help it if they have fear of something, or if they’re uncomfortable with something What? Sure they can. If you find you’re think erroneously about something, then it behooves you to try and correct it. Not cater to it and certainly not expect the world up change a d validate your issues. > [@Esco](#): > > So you’re offended by homophobes who want separate changing rooms, and your response is lets have separate changing rooms for homophobes. > > Do you see your own hypocrisy?? Foghorn Leghorn: I say, I say, I believe this is what they call a joke, son. > [@Esco](#): > > Please dont bring race into this, because many black heterosexuals feel the same aboot not wanting to shower with gays. > > See SF 49’ers Chris Culliver’s comment: [San Francisco 49ers Cornerback Chris Culliver Apologizes after Anti-Gay Statements | TIME.com](http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/01/31/san-francisco-49ers-cornerback-chris-culliver-apologizes-after-anti-gay-statements/) Um, according to that article, he also apologized, regretted his actions, and vowed to grow, learn and _change_. Operative word is the last one. > [@Procrustus](#): > > What, exactly, is it you’re afraid of or uncomfortable about? Imagine you’re taking a shower. There is a guy showing 6 feet away from you. He’s not gay. Now, imagine he is gay. What’s the difference? He’s not going to answer what he thinks will _really_ happen due to his fear, because he’s been asked repeatedly and he steadfastly continues to ignore it. And I’d assume that if he does answer now, it’ll be just to say that he doesn’t necessarily think _anything_ will happen, but he doesn’t like it regardless and therefore it should be fixed somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/155 "2013-06-27T16:51:14Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > It’s a matter of fact unless you can give us a rational reason for it. Yeah, how can homophobia _not_ be irrational? What?? ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/156 "2013-06-27T17:05:05Z")
Good news, OP! Any fear or predjudice can be defeated. Here is an interesting and entertaining list of homophobes who overcame their fears: [Top Anti-Gay Politicians Caught Being Gay: Anti-Gay Activists Out of the Closet](http://m.ranker.com/list/top-10-anti-gay-activists-caught-being-gay/joanne) ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/157 "2013-06-27T17:08:23Z")
Look, feeling uncomfortable about being in a locker room with gay people doesn’t automatically make you a bad person. All of us have irrational fears that we pick up over the course of our lives, it’s the human condition, but you will be doing yourself a disservice if you don’t try to recognize and move beyond those irrational fears. And having a fear of being in the same locker room as a gay person is irrational: you yourself have admitted that it has likely happened in the past and you have not identified any untoward incident. When you are afraid of something, but can’t articulate why you are afraid of something, that is a good indicator that your fear is likely irrational. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/158 "2013-06-27T18:12:57Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Thats the same as saying your fear of heights (aerophobia) is stupid. > Or your fear of spiders (arachnophobia) is stupid. > > People can’t help it if they have fear of something, or if they’re uncomfortable with something Those fears _are_ stupid. A phobia is _defined as_ an **irrational** fear of something. So yes, it is a fact that these fears are irrational. And people can, in fact, “help it” if they have a phobia. There are therapies to deal with phobias, one of which is exposure therapy; in other words, being around that which you fear and coming to terms with the fact that it’s no threat. If your fear of gay people is a true phobia, it can be overcome, and you should work on that. If it’s actually bigotry this will be harder, but it’s just as important to overcome. And as with any bigotry OR phobia, the onus in on the person so afflicted to make accommodations for that fear. If you are that afraid of changing beside a gay person, you need to figure out a way to get a separate room or something. It’s not anyone else’s job to manage your irrational fears. Sorry cupcake. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/159 "2013-06-27T18:25:46Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > Ah, separate but equal. And here I thought we had gotten away from that for good in the 60s. And the OP is still unable to see why this analogy is appropriate here. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/160 "2013-06-27T18:33:56Z")
> [@Tequila\_Party](#): > > Um, according to that article, he also apologized, regretted his actions, and vowed to grow, learn and _change_. Operative word is the last one I’m sure his lawyer wrote that little “apology” out for him. He obviously meant what he said, or he wouldnt have said it. You guys still havent come up with a good explanation why its OK for women to insist on having separate dressing rooms from men, and why its not OK for straight men to ask the same of gay men. And your “you must be 12 years old” quips are not good explanations [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005.md?page=9)