# Would you be comfortable sharing a dressing room with a gay person?? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2013, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005 "2013-06-27T01:58:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/161 "2013-06-27T18:37:06Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > I’m sure his lawyer wrote that little “apology” out for him. He obviously meant what he said, or he wouldnt have said it. > > You guys still havent come up with a good explanation why its OK for women to insist on having separate dressing rooms from men, and why its not OK for straight men to ask the same of gay men. > > And your “you must be 12 years old” quips are not good explanations Well why don’t you go ahead and answer what exactly you are afraid of? You’ve made it clear you are delicate little flower who doesn’t like to be uncomfortable. But you haven’t said what you are afraid of happening if a gay guy sees your hot naked bod. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/162 "2013-06-27T18:51:11Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Well why don’t you go ahead and answer what exactly you are afraid of? Already explained here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16419797#post16419797](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16419797#post16419797) Try to keep up with the thread > [@](#): > > Not a fear specifically, just not comfortable showering with gays. > > I’ve already admitted I’m slightly homophobic ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/163 "2013-06-27T18:52:31Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Already explained here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16419797#post16419797](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16419797#post16419797) > > Try to keep up with the thread I think the only answer is get over it and quit whining. No one cares if you are “uncomfortable.” That’s your problem. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/164 "2013-06-27T18:53:59Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > I’m sure his lawyer wrote that little “apology” out for him. He obviously meant what he said, or he wouldnt have said it. > > You guys still havent come up with a good explanation why its OK for women to insist on having separate dressing rooms from men, and why its not OK for straight men to ask the same of gay men. > > And your “you must be 12 years old” quips are not good explanations You haven’t come up with a reason to change the way it’s done either though. Gay men have always existed. There have always been gay men in men’s changing rooms. It’s never been a problem. Why should it change now? You’re asking every facility with lockers to build at least\* double the facilities they already have. That would cost a fortune! And all to accommodate your irrational fear? Does that truthfully seem sensible to you? Why isn’t it up to _you_ to deal with your phobia/bigotry? \*_at least_ double, because you are refusing to deal with the existence of bisexual people, which could necessitate building individual rooms for each bi person, which would explode the cost of this already costly idea ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/165 "2013-06-27T18:57:50Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Already explained here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16419797#post16419797](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16419797#post16419797) > > Try to keep up with the thread Try to explain why your homophobia isn’t illogical. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/166 "2013-06-27T18:59:39Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Already explained here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16419797#post16419797](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=16419797#post16419797) > > Try to keep up with the thread I almost hesitate to mention it, but you have also been sharing rest rooms with homosexuals all this time. ---
**Author:** ![Zago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecccb3/32.png) [@Zago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zago)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/167 "2013-06-27T19:02:45Z")
Straight woman chiming in here - I have no problem with it at all. Even if a woman did come on to me in that situation I’d probably be flattered but not interested. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/168 "2013-06-27T19:07:35Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > I’m sure his lawyer wrote that little “apology” out for him. He obviously meant what he said, or he wouldnt have said it. > > You guys still havent come up with a good explanation why its OK for women to insist on having separate dressing rooms from men, and why its not OK for straight men to ask the same of gay men. > > And your “you must be 12 years old” quips are not good explanations We have separate dressing rooms from women in a lot of places because it “simply is”. The reasons behind that “simply is” probably stem from a history of prudishness about the naked body and how nakedness = sexual and all sorts of stuff from eras past that we should probably work through. There’s also some bit thrown in there about how society probably thinks men will harass the women or things will get out of hand. So it doesn’t necessarily make sense for women and men to be separated from each other, since as many other posters mentioned, there’s co-ed dressing rooms that have never had an issue. That being said, you’re asking to chage the status quo for yourself. That’s entirely different than something that already exists. So let’s pretend all the dressing rooms everywhere are co-ed for this next bit. Pretty much, straight men have a better time than others as they hold power inherent in their gender and orientation through years and years of conditioning in society. They hold the majority of positions of authority in most countries (if not all?) and make the lion’s share of decisions on who gets what “privileges”. So if the straight men start demanding a dressing room for themselves to make themselves feel better, it’ll be seen as a self-centered grab because they already have it so good. After all, they don’t often get beat up simply for being straight men, and it certainly is not practiced systematically or as something legally sanctioned hardly anywhere in the world. If a social minority like gay folks or women say “I feel threatened and harassed by straight men, I would like a separate changing room please” people will be more likely to consider it reasonable, as for years and years these people have been oppressed and had to fight for every inch of rights they have. Therefore, having those with lack of power asking for something that will make them feel more empowered/less threatened is seen as a good thing. Basically, we’re viewing requests about segregation from the light of years and years of minority oppression. Unless a minority is requesting the change as well, it’s usually not a good thing happening. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/169 "2013-06-27T19:10:27Z")
I am uncomfortable with any person in the change room with me while either they or I am naked. I am happy to have a gym that has separate showers and cubbys to get changed in. Though if I must be naked or have others be naked I would be equally uncomfortable regardless of gender or sexual orientation. However, should anyone actually be a jerk and say anything about my body they would get both barrels. ---
**Author:** ![Esco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de053/32.png) [@Esco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esco)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/170 "2013-06-27T19:11:22Z")
> [@miss\_elizabeth](#): > > You haven’t come up with a reason to change the way it’s done either though. Gay men have always existed. There have always been gay men in men’s changing rooms. It’s never been a problem. Why should it change now? > > You’re asking every facility with lockers to build at least\* double the facilities they already have. That would cost a fortune! And all to accommodate your irrational fear? Does that truthfully seem sensible to you? Why isn’t it up to _you_ to deal with your phobia/bigotry? Except I’m not the only one out there who feels this way. Go ask how most NFL players feel aboot this, you’ll find its split aboot 50/50, half are OK with it, the other half are not comfortable sharing dressing room with gays. Also, as I said earlier I would be OK with just a few separate shower stalls, no need to build entire new change rooms altogether . ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/171 "2013-06-27T19:15:57Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > Except I’m not the only one out there who feels this way. Go ask how most NFL players feel aboot this, you’ll find its split aboot 50/50, half are OK with it, the other half are not comfortable sharing dressing room with gays. > > Also, as I said earlier I would be OK with just a few separate shower stalls, no need to build entire new change rooms altogether > > . Those NFL players are free to ask for private stalls, and I guess if enough ask, it could happen. Or the NFL might say “Suck it up, buttercup, you’re a football player so act like it.” Personally I feel the latter is more likely, and as time passes and people’s bigotry subsides due to exposure, it will cease to be an issue. Also, why do you always spell ‘about’ wrong, and why do you leave several rows of blank space after your sentence but before the period? It’s distracting. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a6a055/32.png) [@Tequila\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Party)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/172 "2013-06-27T20:10:01Z")
> [@Esco](#): > > I’m sure his lawyer wrote that little “apology” out for him. He obviously meant what he said, or he wouldnt have said it. > > You guys still havent come up with a good explanation why its OK for women to insist on having separate dressing rooms from men, and why its not OK for straight men to ask the same of gay men. > > And your “you must be 12 years old” quips are not good explanations So, instead of _you_ explaining why your homophobia should be acceptable, you want us to explain something to you that isn’t even the topic of this thread? Interesting. > [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > I think the only answer is get over it and quit whining. No one cares if you are “uncomfortable.” That’s your problem. Also, simply reiterating that you’re “uncomfortable” isn’t an _explanation_ of what exactly the hell you think will happen if you share a locker room worn with a gay person. That’s what everyone keeps asking. What is the outcome if this horrific event if it occurs? If the answer is it only makes you uncomfortable, then I agree with the above. Shots make me uncomfortable, but I got over that when I was 6. Finally, for the people that _are_ uncomfortable, so what? They’re homophobes. No reason to cater to them any more than it was necessary to cater to your small child when thru said a recess playmate had cooties. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/173 "2013-06-27T20:12:59Z")
I’m uncomfortable changing clothes in front of anyone. I’m also uncomfortable sitting next to a stranger on public transportation. Having people who I don’t know well come to my house makes me uncomfortable. Come to think of it, I’m a little uncomfortable eating in front of other people. But rather than demand special accommodation, I go on ahead and just deal with it, because I understand that my mild social anxiety doesn’t trump society’s need to run smoothly. Seeing intelligent people who write well misspell or misuse words also makes me uncomfortable. I’ll just say that while I don’t think that anyone has the right to a **discrete** (sep **a** rate, individual) changing room, I do think we all have the right to ask people to be **discreet** (circumspect, unobtrusive) if they’re going to check us out. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/174 "2013-06-27T20:16:06Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > I almost hesitate to mention it, but you have also been sharing rest rooms with homosexuals all this time. :eek: n..nn…nnOOOOOO!!! ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/175 "2013-06-27T20:30:32Z")
Wouldn’t/doesn’t bother me in the least. Can’t say I even think about it. I don’t spend a lot of time in dressing rooms, because I hate shopping, but I’ve certainly been in locker rooms with gay men. Men I thought were gay, men I \*knew \*were gay, and mostly men who it never occurred to me to speculate about. Really, I don’t think about it. Why does anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/176 "2013-06-27T20:39:46Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Women never found me attractive _None_ of them? Not even debb? Yikes. If I _have_ to share with someone, I wouldn’t care. I’d rather have privacy, truth be told. Most of all, I don’t want people _talking_ to me. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Wiggler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/red_wiggler/32/13190_2.png) [@Red\_Wiggler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Wiggler)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/177 "2013-06-27T20:48:10Z")
A locker room certainly isn’t the most romantic of locations. Why would a gay man, unsure of his “target’s” proclivities to begin with, venture out on what is often a task ripe for misunderstanding and embarrassment – in a place smelling of sweat and socks? Is the OP worried about giving off some sort of superhuman vibe? ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/178 "2013-06-27T20:55:44Z")
I thought this was about dressing rooms like… an actual changing room like in JC Penny or something. I was going to say - I’d be uncomfortable in general because it’s so small. Now we’re talking about locker rooms? PSCHhhh. There are way more harrowing things in a locker room than the chance that another guy eying your junk. Just last week I encountered… a turd left in a toilet, some guy blowdrying his hair (all of his hair, everywhere), some guy clipping his nails (no trash can), some guy hocking a loogie down the shower drain (hopefully), and some guy bleeding all over a basketball that was continued to be played with. To me, being freaked out by other people seeing your dick and demanding them be separated is akin to a fat guy being freaked out by other people judging his pudginess and demanding a separate skinny room and a separate fat room. It’s YOUR hang up. Don’t expect society to accomodate you. You have to be an adult and just freakin deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/179 "2013-06-27T21:15:30Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > To me, being freaked out by other people seeing your dick and demanding them be separated is akin to a fat guy being freaked out by other people judging his pudginess and demanding a separate skinny room and a separate fat room. Fat guys in locker rooms are impervious to shame. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2013, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005/180 "2013-06-27T21:16:55Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Fat guys in locker rooms are impervious to shame. Hey! I’ll have you know that . . . dammit, you’re actually right. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-comfortable-sharing-a-dressing-room-with-a-gay-person/662005.md?page=10)