# Would you be friends with your sibling(s) if you weren’t family? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 15, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190 "2015-07-15T00:27:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/41 "2015-07-15T19:42:40Z")
I have one sibling – my sister, who’s 3 1/2 years younger than me. When we were kids, we fought a lot (though there were times that we got along very well). As adults, there was a long time during which we just didn’t talk a lot: she was a single parent, and I was a married DINK, and we didn’t have a lot in common. Over the past 5 years or so, we’ve suddenly grown a lot closer (I’m now 50, she’s 46). Part of that is probably dealing with our aging parents, but part is also the realization we’ve both had that we actually _do_ have a lot in common, and do enjoy each other’s company. Better late than never. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/42 "2015-07-15T19:55:41Z")
I can’t imagine our paths crossing if we didn’t have the same parents. As it is I don’t know how often our paths would cross if we didn’t all live in the same city. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/43 "2015-07-15T23:03:48Z")
As the only Atheist in a sea of Baptists, I doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/44 "2015-07-15T23:16:01Z")
My four years younger sister unfriended me on Facebook because she didn’t like my political postings. In 1972, I voted for McGovern and she voted for George Wallace. So, no. My eleven years younger sister and I just have nothing in common. ---
**Author:** ![Not\_a\_Platypus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d26b3c/32.png) [@Not\_a\_Platypus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Not_a_Platypus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/45 "2015-07-15T23:32:13Z")
Highly doubtful. He was an angry, abusive asshole when we were young (no, not like normal sibling crap), which could be explained by my family’s speculation that he was molested by a relative as a kid. He had his moments of being a sweet big brother, but we never really had a chance to be close at all, and he cut off contact with all of us almost exactly 10 years ago. Now that I’m older I have mixed feelings about him. Before he left for good I let him know I forgave him for our shitty childhood and I tried to be there if he wanted to start over, but he never took me up on it. He didn’t tell me to fuck off or anything, he just never responded to me directly. I heard from my mom that he expressed remorse to her. I’m not sure he knows how to contact me now even if he wanted to. I always wondered what it would be like to have one of those sibling relationships I’d see on TV or read about in books, where yeah there’d be picking-on and some harassment (y’know, normal sibling crap) but they still cared about each other. Instead I got a Lifetime movie. I really have no idea what kind of person he is now that he’s an adult who hopefully got his life together, so who knows if we have anything in common. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/46 "2015-07-15T23:34:17Z")
No. I have one older brother and we have nothing in common, except sharing the same home when we were growing-up, and our parents, who are both gone. There’s really no reason to stay in touch, but we do. That is the extent of it - we are not so much friends as we are acquaintances. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/47 "2015-07-15T23:42:32Z")
Almost certainly with my sisters. Probably not with my brothers. I can’t see being in the same orbit as my brothers without our family ties. But my sisters and I are all in the same orbits. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/48 "2015-07-15T23:43:20Z")
No, I respect her a lot - and am grateful that that she she was able to provide my parents with one very successful child; but we have very different values, and she is much more conventional than me. She also tends to be very into her own thing, which is something I also respect - but it’s not exactly the type of personality that lets a lot of people in. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/49 "2015-07-15T23:49:41Z")
Friendly? Yeah, my sister’s a fine person and easy to get along with. But not friends, since we don’t really have any interests in common and have completely opposite personalities. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2015, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/50 "2015-07-15T23:57:40Z")
My sister and I were and would be, if she was still alive. I don’t care if I ever talk to my brother again. For the OP: why on earth would you remain on friendly terms with someone who is so repulsive? Relative or not, I would dump that negativity quickly. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/51 "2015-07-16T00:01:51Z")
Of my five sibs, only the youngest brother for sure. The one closest in age I could see it if we met say through work (which wouldn’t have happened). The Oldest, not just no but FUCK NO! That leaves two, one brother who no one ever hears from and a sister who’s too different. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/52 "2015-07-16T00:39:31Z")
No. I don’t like him now; he’s a lazy, sponging, jerk who thinks he knows everything about everything even though he hasn’t managed to live on his own for more than a couple of months at a time. He’s not employed on a regular basis because “he won’t put up with shit”, not understanding that you get paid to put up with a certain level of shit. But he claims to be a free-market libertarian and against government assistance (though apparently mooching off your family is fine.) He also doesn’t have any sense of humor and can’t laugh at himself at all. And did I mention that he’s a bully on top of it? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/53 "2015-07-16T01:19:12Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > No. I don’t like him now; he’s a lazy, sponging, jerk who thinks he knows everything about everything even though he hasn’t managed to live on his own for more than a couple of months at a time. He’s not employed on a regular basis because “he won’t put up with shit”, not understanding that you get paid to put up with a certain level of shit. But he claims to be a free-market libertarian and against government assistance (though apparently mooching off your family is fine.) He also doesn’t have any sense of humor and can’t laugh at himself at all. And did I mention that he’s a bully on top of it? He sounds like a lovely human being. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/54 "2015-07-16T01:37:59Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > I absolutely would. He’s an awesome person who I have a ton in common with that don’t involve family. Oddly enough, we hardly ever talk. He has his life, I have mine - they haven’t been intertwining for the last twenty or so years like they used to - but we’re still good friends. We have a blast when we DO get together. It’s kind of hard to explain. My mother calls that Pamplona friendships, because it’s something she hadn’t encountered before moving there but there it’s the default. The whole idea of “must keep in contact” is as alien to me (being from Pamplona) as the notion of “we’re still friends after not seeing each other for twelve years” is to her. To me, friendship is by definition casual and with no strings - to her, it’s something organized and full of requirements. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/55 "2015-07-16T01:47:00Z")
Nope. I’m cordial when need be but, we’re different people living in different parts of the country. We aren’t that far apart in age, but all went in different directions after high school. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2015, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/56 "2015-07-16T16:03:23Z")
Probably not. Big age difference means we didn’t really grow up together so we weren’t close growing up. She’s got her busy life & I have mine with not a lot of common interests between us. I’d talk to her at a party if we were both there & say HI if I saw her out somewhere but I don’t think there’d be enough in common for us to be friends directly. No animosity, just different. ---
**Author:** ![Pabitel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@Pabitel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pabitel)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/57 "2015-07-17T16:59:41Z")
I’m not friends with my siblings and we are family. Haven’t spoken to any of them in years. No reason to really. They moved out west decades ago and we just sort of lost touch. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2015, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190/58 "2015-07-17T17:50:31Z")
I’m about to turn 44; my brother is 42. My brother has no friends. He’s a nice guy with a big heart, but with psychological issues that make him clinically anti-social. He has 100+ Facebook “friends,” but no _actual_ friends. He hasn’t had a friend since he was in high school. He has also never been on a date. And he doesn’t want help. I don’t actively dislike him, but his issues are why I’m not friends with him, either. We hardly ever see each other as it is (usually just Christmas and Mother’s Day): if both of our parents were to die, we’d definitely stay in touch but I highly doubt we’d ever get together. We’d probably only see each other at funerals, etc. It’s not unusual for my friends to know me for years before learning that I have a brother. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-friends-with-your-sibling-s-if-you-weren-t-family/725190.md?page=2)