# Would you be God if you were offered the job? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 25, 2007, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169 "2007-12-25T01:45:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/21 "2007-12-25T15:31:01Z")
No. Sure, like most people, I feel like that I’d do a better job running the world than the people presently in charge. But judging from history, power really does corrupt. And from the OP, we aren’t talking about a superhuman version of me, but plain old fallible me with superhuman powers. [QUOTE=LOTR] Understand Frodo, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine. [/QUOTE] In this case, it would be my own flawed human nature and not Sauron’s corruption, but the end result would be the same, I think. No one human should have that much more power than everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/22 "2007-12-25T15:35:46Z")
Sure, I’d give it a go. Lack of infallibility is a limitation that I am already well acquainted with. And if I can seamlessly correct any mistake I make, then I suppose that the only person to really suffer from it would be me. And I’d suffer a lot less from my mistakes if I could seamlessly correct them, so there seems to be no down side. I have no real plan for the Universe yet, so I’d probably set it on autopilot until I got all my personal gratification issues out of my system. It would probably be a while before I felt that I’d gained enough of a handle on the job to tackle the larger issues. First off I’d like to spend time correcting all the bad decisions I’ve made in my own life. I’d vastly prefer it if other people viewed me as a competent and reliable person who could be turned to for help, rather than a walking disaster to be avoided at all costs. I am also shockingly low in wisdom for a deity. I’d need the benefit of a wider perspective to ably judge my own actions. One thing’s certain, though: when the history of our sacred age is written in the Book of Terrifel, the SDMB will be widely acclaimed for the extraordinary good fortune of most of its membership, for lo I am a benevolent god. However it may also be known for its infrequent yet statistically unlikely instances of spontaneous combustion; therefore Pit not my name in vain, lest ye be smooten with piles and chiggers and whatnot. (The book would be my holy symbol, see? Even if nobody else knows about it, there’d still be a great huge book somewhere in my palace of divine contemplation. It’d be really thick and impressively bound with unsurpassingly beautiful calligraphy and illustrations, and it’d miraculously contain the entire history of everything that ever happened. Plus appendices for things that could have happened, but didn’t. It would probably not list “smooten” as an official word.) ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/23 "2007-12-25T15:59:11Z")
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] What’s the pay like? [/QUOTE] The sky’s the limit, though why would you need to buy anything? Just wave a hand and it’s yours. [QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] Is it a 9 to 5 gig? [/QUOTE] If you want. You could even create a universal “pause” button, so nothing happens while you chill. Or let the universe stagger on in your absense. Or make yourself not need sleep – and amuse yourself by throwing lightning bolts at people during off hours. [QUOTE=Gatopescado] I’d probably just get fired, like the last eight or ten jobs I’ve had. But it would be fun while it lasted. [/QUOTE] Sorry, you take the job and it’s yours until you quit or kill yourself. No one to fire you. And quitting means the universe just runs on along the rules you made for it, without any controls or corrections. Kind of hard to morally justify that, if you’re God. [QUOTE=Argent Towers] Could I be the kind of God that can come to earth in human form and fuck human women? Like Zeus? [/QUOTE] Absolutely, one of my first thoughts too. You could also fuck men, and even destroy the very concept of homosexuality as a sin. [QUOTE=Argent Towers] Would they bear half-God children, if they got pregnant? [/QUOTE] No, you can’t create more Gods for job-sharing. OTOH, you can make sure thay don’t get pregnant. [QUOTE=Argent Towers] I would give all members of the New York Yankees super powers… [/QUOTE] NEW RULE! No super-powered Yankees! [QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] …Now, if I were offered one of the old Pagan Gods’ gigs–Zeus, Thor, Apollo, etc, I’d give it some serious thought. [/QUOTE] You can be any kind of God you want, except of course that you can’t get into petty spats with other Gods, 'cause there won’t be any. Chain guys to mountainsides for eternity, turn virgins into goats, whatever floats your boat. [QUOTE=Der Trihs] …In this case, it would be my own flawed human nature and not Sauron’s corruption, but the end result would be the same, I think. No one human should have that much more power than everyone else. [/QUOTE] While you couln’t make yourself infallible, you could make yourself _believe_ you’re infallible. There’s a difference? 😉 Or, you could be an activist God, and if you decide you’ve screwed up, fix it. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/24 "2007-12-25T16:59:37Z")
First, I’d make all the mosquitoes vegetarian. Next, I’d command the world’s religious leaders to come unto me, and I’d straighten them out. I might forgive them for spreading all that crap they’d been saying was my will, but they’d have to get it right from now on. Then I’d sweat the details. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/25 "2007-12-25T17:06:09Z")
I’m finding it interesting that most of you would try to explain yourselves better, or theaten people if they don’t get it right. But you COULD make people smarter, or throw in some DNA that makes people non-violent, or otherwise make changes to the nature of people to make them behave better automatically. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/26 "2007-12-25T17:29:02Z")
I would give everyone in the world telepathy. I would then give the survivors of the resulting shitstorm birth control on demand, a nice clean world to play with, and a decent lifespan(say 500 years) to give them time to actually learn a few things and still have time for fun. And I would let the Cubbies win the World Series. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/27 "2007-12-25T17:40:57Z")
No thanks I’m very happy with the one I have already. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/28 "2007-12-25T17:42:36Z")
[QUOTE=LouisB] Hell yes I would. The population of the earth would instantly become color blind; the entire earth would be bountiful; starvation and disease would be eliminated and the entire thing would work like a perfect commune. There would be free love and nickel beer; when things were humming smoothly along, I’d take a long vacation somewhere in the South Pacific. And, the first politician to mention my name would be smitten with absolute fury as would any one who attempted to establish an organized religion. I’m God, remember; I don’t want anyone to attempt to explain my motives because no mortal can comprehend them. So there. [/QUOTE] This sounds ideal, can I subscribe to your newsletter? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/29 "2007-12-25T21:27:29Z")
[QUOTE=Czarcasm] …And I would let the Cubbies win the World Series. [/QUOTE] I’m not sure ANY god could manage that. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/30 "2007-12-25T21:28:21Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Or, you could be an activist God, and if you decide you’ve screwed up, fix it. [/QUOTE] See, the problem is, I wouldn’t fix it, because one of the things broken would be me. History shows that power warps people, and while I’m sure that I would start out meaning well, I see no reason to assume that I’m the exception. I’d take longer to corrupt than, say, Caligula, but given absolute power and unlimited time I’d end up a monster like anyone else would. Even the relatively tiny power of Emperors and Kings and and such is notorious for corrupting people. Now, if we were talking about some superhumanly enlightened and superhumanly mentally stable version of me, sure; but plain old fallible me would be a disaster as a god. As would anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/31 "2007-12-25T21:34:16Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] See, the problem is, I wouldn’t fix it, because one of the things broken would be me. History shows that power warps people, and while I’m sure that I would start out meaning well, I see no reason to assume that I’m the exception. I’d take longer to corrupt than, say, Caligula, but given absolute power and unlimited time I’d end up a monster like anyone else would. Even the relatively tiny power of Emperors and Kings and and such is notorious for corrupting people. Now, if we were talking about some superhumanly enlightened and superhumanly mentally stable version of me, sure; but plain old fallible me would be a disaster as a god. As would anyone. [/QUOTE] Suppose you could make a few improvements to the current status quo, and then go spend a retirement somewhere else in the universe setting off supernovas and playing with the laws of physics. You would not trust yourself to make any changes whatsoever? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/32 "2007-12-25T21:37:26Z")
[QUOTE=Der Trihs] See, the problem is, I wouldn’t fix it, because one of the things broken would be me. History shows that power warps people, and while I’m sure that I would start out meaning well, I see no reason to assume that I’m the exception. I’d take longer to corrupt than, say, Caligula, but given absolute power and unlimited time I’d end up a monster like anyone else would. Even the relatively tiny power of Emperors and Kings and and such is notorious for corrupting people. Now, if we were talking about some superhumanly enlightened and superhumanly mentally stable version of me, sure; but plain old fallible me would be a disaster as a god. As would anyone. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but the _beauty_ of it is that _no one would ever have to know!_ You screw up and accidently wipe out a couple zillion people? No problem! You’re God! You can bring them all back with a wave of your hand, make them and everyone else forget that anything bad ever happened and go on with your life! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/33 "2007-12-25T22:28:20Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Suppose you could make a few improvements to the current status quo, and then go spend a retirement somewhere else in the universe setting off supernovas and playing with the laws of physics. You would not trust yourself to make any changes whatsoever? [/QUOTE] And eventually I’d get bored of that retirement and come back. It’s not that I don’t trust myself to make any changes; I’m fairly sure that I’d start out well. It’s just that over time I’m sure that I or anyone would get worse and worse. “God for a Day” would be one thing, but not “God Forever”. [QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Yeah, but the _beauty_ of it is that _no one would ever have to know!_ You screw up and accidently wipe out a couple zillion people? No problem! You’re God! You can bring them all back with a wave of your hand, make them and everyone else forget that anything bad ever happened and go on with your life! [/QUOTE] And there - right there - is one example of how one could be corrupted. By convincing yourself that it doesn’t really count if your victims don’t remember. ---
**Author:** ![9thFloor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/9/b487fb/32.png) [@9thFloor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/9thFloor)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/34 "2007-12-25T22:42:37Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Like those movies, whatever they are. The only power you don’t get is infallibility. But, if you think you got something wrong, you can always re-do it and make everybody forget the initial screwup. You can be as hands-on or as hands-off as you want. You can make everybody certain you exist, or certain you don’t, or give out free will to choose. You can make sweet tarts the healthiest thing on the planet (my personal first act), with tobacco next. You can make everything that tastes good actually BE good. Oops, one other restriction. You can’t make other Gods to be your peers or replacements. You start with the universe as it is today. But if you wanted, you could crush it back into a wad of well, whatever, and start from scratch. Would you do it? What are your plans if you would? [/QUOTE] I think I’d turn it down. No peers. That, and too much knowledge hurts my head. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2007, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169/35 "2007-12-25T23:44:15Z")
[QUOTE=9thFloor] I think I’d turn it down. No peers. That, and too much knowledge hurts my head. [/QUOTE] Who says you have to know anything? You can be a dumb ass god. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-god-if-you-were-offered-the-job/431169.md?page=1)