# Would you be offended if your partner wanted you to sign a prenup (gender poll)? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 19, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701 "2010-10-19T21:12:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/1 "2010-10-19T21:12:24Z")
Created after reading [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=582423) thread. The previous poll was fine and dandy but I’m curious to see how it breaks down by gender. I think it’s ridiculous to be offended at the idea of signing a prenup. People are saying that it’s the equivalent of reducing your marriage to financial terms and I don’t see how that makes sense. There’s no reducing going on. A prenup is a financial contract that only applies to the financial aspect of marriage to begin with. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/2 "2010-10-19T21:18:17Z")
Woudlnt be offended, just probably wouldnt agree. Then Id get to see if they think they have a right to be offended if I dont want to do one. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/3 "2010-10-19T21:19:48Z")
Male, and no I wouldn’t be offended. If anything that shows good faith on her part since given how slanted our courts are towards women in domestic disputes she’s throwing away a major advantage if she meant me ill. Presuming that the terms of the pre-nup are fair, naturally. And like it or not, divorces are common; it turns out that no, people don’t usually find their perfect mate on the first try (if ever). ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/4 "2010-10-19T21:21:20Z")
> [@Otara](#): > > Woudlnt be offended, just probably wouldnt agree. > > Then Id get to see if they think they have a right to be offended if I dont want to do one. > > Otara Yes, I’d think that I have a right to be offended. Because your refusal to sign one indicates to me that you think you deserve half of what’s mine (as little as that may be :p) if and when we get divorced. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/5 "2010-10-19T21:33:53Z")
Id think Id deserve what the law decided was appropriate, and dont like signing away rights. I might in practise to decide to go for less than that, depending on the circumstances. Otara ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/6 "2010-10-19T21:36:32Z")
> [@Otara](#): > > Id think Id deserve what the law decided was appropriate, and dont like signing away rights. Do you believe in any form of ethics or fairness outside of what’s legal? Do you sue everyone you can in the hope that the law might think it’s fair for you to get a settlement check? ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/7 "2010-10-19T21:43:47Z")
Straw argument much? Id rather use processes already in place for these things for when they’re needed, rather than have a divorce now, when Im not going to know what the circumstances will actually be. The wedding is off. Otara ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/8 "2010-10-19T21:52:19Z")
You’d rather use the processes already in place? Is that because there might be more in it for you if you do? I’m glad you told me before we tied the knot. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/9 "2010-10-19T21:54:23Z")
It is interesting that you assume Ill be the poorer one in the match. Otara ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/10 "2010-10-19T21:56:53Z")
I’m not. It’s virtually guaranteed that you’re wealthier than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/11 "2010-10-19T21:56:58Z")
I wouldn’t be offended. I just wouldn’t do it. I think perhaps you’re misunderstanding the position of at least some of those you disagree with. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/12 "2010-10-19T22:02:13Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I wouldn’t be offended. I just wouldn’t do it. I think perhaps you’re misunderstanding the position of at least some of those you disagree with. That’s possible. I’d be obliged if you’d clarify for me. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/13 "2010-10-19T22:04:45Z")
I wouldn’t be offended, although I’d be confused as to why I had to sign one, seeing as how we were both poor. But if we were older and this was my second marriage, and we both are going into it with assets, it’d be stupid not to get one signed. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/14 "2010-10-19T22:40:36Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > That’s possible. I’d be obliged if you’d clarify for me. I explained in the other thread. I (personally, of course) just don’t find prenups reconcilable with the concept of unconditional wedding vows. I don’t see how it would be possible for me to have earnestly made my wedding vows, with a prenup in the frame. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/15 "2010-10-19T22:45:58Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I explained in the other thread. I (personally, of course) just don’t find prenups reconcilable with the concept of unconditional wedding vows. I don’t see how it would be possible for me to have earnestly made my wedding vows, with a prenup in the frame. I guess I can respect that but divorce is a fact of life. I just think it’s perhaps naive to think that your love is true and unconditional unlike the love that all those other people experience. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/16 "2010-10-19T22:51:25Z")
I wonder out of curiosity if many gay couples who have legally married have done prenups. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2010, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/17 "2010-10-19T22:52:27Z")
Once again, I don’t think you’re getting it. I don’t necessarily think my love is unconditional. Vows are about intent, mostly, not romantic love. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/18 "2010-10-20T00:21:23Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I guess I can respect that but divorce is a fact of life. I just think it’s perhaps naive to think that your love is true and unconditional unlike the love that all those other people experience. Venereal disease is a fact of life, too, but I don’t see anyone making plans for how to get it treated before they ever take off their pants. IYSWIM. And frankly, my love _is_ different from what a lot of other people experience. I genuinely like and respect and enjoy him as a person completely apart from our romantic relationship, and judging by the way I see other couples interacting, that’s pretty goddamn rare. We’re not at the same risk for divorce as a lot of other people, and it would be patently silly for us to act as if we were. Let’s face it, the only way he’s getting rid of me is to pry me loose with a crowbar. The only thing he could get out of a prenup is to limit his liability if he dumps me for somebody younger and cuter…and if he wants to do that, he can bloody well pay through the nose for the privilege. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/19 "2010-10-20T00:22:55Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Venereal disease is a fact of life, too, but I don’t see anyone making plans for how to get it treated before they ever take off their pants. IYSWIM. Condoms are the prenups of sex. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701/20 "2010-10-20T00:27:35Z")
It would depend on why he wanted it: a prenup to protect his own property would bother me. A prenup to protect property he was the steward of–like family heirlooms, or an inheritance from a late wife that he intended to pass on to the kids he had with that wife, or a family business–I can see wanting that protected because it’s not really yours to risk. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-offended-if-your-partner-wanted-you-to-sign-a-prenup-gender-poll/557701.md?page=2)