# Would You Be The Leader of Humanity **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 1, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933 "2010-05-01T01:52:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/41 "2010-05-02T05:08:56Z")
I would. I’m qualified, have gumption, would ban staff meetings beyond an hour, have cookies, and doggonneit, people like me. Tripler And I’d make the Illuminati my bitches. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/42 "2010-05-02T08:41:30Z")
You mean I’m not? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/43 "2010-05-02T09:19:03Z")
I dunno. What’s the superannuation and pension-plan like? ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/44 "2010-05-02T09:29:51Z")
Absolutely and without a moment’s hesitation. Fortunately for the world, there’s zero chance of me being declared God Emperor Of The Planet any time soon. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/45 "2010-05-02T11:30:43Z")
Yes. I expect I’d be assassinated, but, oh, what a month! ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/46 "2010-05-02T12:15:47Z")
> [@VarlosZ](#): > > Yes. I expect I’d be assassinated, but, oh, what a month! That’s why you need to hook up a dead-man’s-switch for the world’s nuclear arsenals to your heart monitor, first thing. That’ll weed out everyone but the people who think you’re bluffing, the ones who think nuclear death is preferable (or at least quicker and less painful) to the horrors you’ll unleash, or just don’t _care_ if they murder the rest of the world if it takes you down. A few atrocities on your part should take care of the people who’d think you’re bluffing, too. A subcontinent or a large island should do the trick. ---
**Author:** ![Desert\_Nomad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desert_nomad/32/177_2.png) [@Desert\_Nomad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desert_Nomad)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/47 "2010-05-02T13:59:00Z")
I am honored that you asked, and I accept. I’ll work on setting up my HQ and get back to you. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/48 "2010-05-02T14:01:19Z")
No. I’d make such a bad job of it that I’d have to be assassinated for my own good. ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/49 "2010-05-02T14:11:05Z")
Since I often say “If I were the king of the world, I’d . . .” so I had to choose yes. Anyway, I think the leader of humanity should be a woman, and I am one of those. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/50 "2010-05-02T18:08:44Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > That’s why you need to hook up a dead-man’s-switch for the world’s nuclear arsenals to your heart monitor, first thing. That’ll weed out everyone but the people who think you’re bluffing, the ones who think nuclear death is preferable (or at least quicker and less painful) to the horrors you’ll unleash, or just don’t _care_ if they murder the rest of the world if it takes you down. > > A few atrocities on your part should take care of the people who’d think you’re bluffing, too. A subcontinent or a large island should do the trick. Fool of a Took! The dead-man’s-switch-to-the-nukes NEVER WORKS! The heroes assume, correctly, that anyone who would do such a thing is not going to care what happens in the event of his natural death, and thus conclude that eliminating you is even more urgent. Yes, you do force them to commit more resources to their plan, but you also increase the odds of someone in your inner circle betraying you to the Justice League. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/51 "2010-05-02T23:01:08Z")
Hell no I wouldn’t accept, and I’m kinda creeped out at those who say they would. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/52 "2010-05-02T23:09:08Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > Hell no I wouldn’t accept, and I’m kinda creeped out at those who say they would. lol ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/53 "2010-05-03T00:32:09Z")
Yes, and my first order of business will be to have all the other “yes” voters hunted down. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/54 "2010-05-03T00:45:31Z")
> [@dogbutler](#): > > Yes, and my first order of business will be to have all the other “yes” voters hunted down. Now _that’s_ a plan! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/55 "2010-05-03T01:45:20Z")
Sure I would. I don’t figure I’d be any worse than any other wannabe world leaders have been. And not having to kill millions to get the job is a definite plus. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/56 "2010-05-03T02:24:08Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Fool of a Took! > > The dead-man’s-switch-to-the-nukes NEVER WORKS! The heroes assume, correctly, that anyone who would do such a thing is not going to care what happens in the event of his natural death, and thus conclude that eliminating you is even more urgent. Yes, you do force them to commit more resources to their plan, but you also increase the odds of someone in your inner circle betraying you to the Justice League. Bah! This presumes that you’re not taking measures to assure your own immortality or transcendant Godhood. And really, you’d have _that_ much trouble playing your inner circle against each other, to keep their effective loyalty? Or at least fear their own future without your protection, should you be toppled? ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/57 "2010-05-03T02:42:44Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Well sure, _YOU_ should say yes. You’d do a great job. It’s just the rest of us that I worry about. Yeps, I think Olives would do a great job: she’s been through a lot of psychological travails, and instead of whinging about it, has tried to deeply understand the human condition, to the point she’s making it her choice of study. She’s learned from mistakes, and is open and honest about it. Go on ahead, Olives! Me; I’ve learned a lot, but won’t commit to a poll like this. 'Nuff said bout my political ambition. Thanks for the gumballs, Curtis! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/58 "2010-05-03T02:59:28Z")
Why should being World Dictator (er, I mean , um, _Leader_) be a trial or tribulation? It ought to be a piece of cake. You set your own hours, can have pretty much whatever you want, everybody jumps to do your bidding. If they don’t, you can punish them. I’ve never had a job that easy, and can’t think of anyone who has. I think the OP and others are overestimating the quality of person needed to be a world leader. Seriously, look at George Bush. What an idiot! And he only managed to kill a million or so Iraqis and sundry brown people. And that’s because he was a national leader, with other nations to call enemies. The world leader won’t have that. ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/59 "2010-05-03T04:35:31Z")
Naw, I’m just too humble for that sort of position. Of course, you’d want someone humble to be leader of humanity, right? Oh no, oh no, I’m not saying I’d make a good leader… Though really, my homespun, down-to-Earth personality is just the thing this world needs in a ruler. Not that I want to! No, really, I don’t… I mean…if you asked, I suppose I would… …no no, of course not, I’d just be too humble to accept… …really though…I’d be great…hypothetically, of course… ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933/60 "2010-05-03T15:05:19Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > Supposing a world government is formed and it’s head of state and government is selected to be you would you accept? Could we go for a parliamentary system? 'Cause in that case I’d take the HoS gig in a heartbeat – go to a lot of openings, premieres, funerals, confer honors, issue pardons, etc., and step in to withold my assent if the Government tries to pass a really ignorant bill, but let the PM handle all the shyte work. And if they get too silly, I’ll tell the world I can keep dissolving parliament and calling elections every week and until they get their heads together and form a viable coalition I’m running things myself. THAT oughta scare them into walking the line. As to being selected the ACTUAL Leader of Humanity, you may be hesitant to give the gig to someone with a history of Anxiety Disorders, but if it has come down to me, that probably means things can’t possibly get any worse so I might as well step in with some far-outside-the-box thought. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-leader-of-humanity/537933.md?page=4)