# Would you be the supportive, trusting spouse? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 8, 2011, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697 "2011-02-08T21:30:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/21 "2011-02-09T06:26:10Z")
I have no BS detector at all, so unfortunately, I’d believe the cops. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/22 "2011-02-09T06:35:42Z")
I’d be the supportive spouse. Even if she did it. My wife, on the other hand would, without a doubt, be all “What the hell have you done this time!” ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/23 "2011-02-09T12:10:54Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I’d believe my spouse. I’ve seen enough cases in my line of work with “overwhelming” evidence that turned out to be a complete fuckup. Yes, I agree with this (except for the bit about it being in my line of work). ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/24 "2011-02-09T19:23:12Z")
I’m a hardcore skeptic and if the evidence the cops have to show me would be sufficient to convince me if I were a juror, that would almost certainly convince me if it were my spouse. I’m not sure how I would handle the continued denials. I would probably perform further investigation. Beyond a reasonable doubt is a fine standard for a courtroom, but beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt is the standard I would use for a spouse. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/25 "2011-02-09T19:28:10Z")
My husband would tell me what was going on. I would have every faith in him. He is a good man. (Also, of course, his inability to lie to me is a bit of an ace in the hole.) ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/26 "2011-02-09T19:34:27Z")
It really all depends on the evidence. If the police showed you a videotape of your spouse opening fire on a group of children and shouting very private things that only he/she could possibly know, how could you possibly be supportive and trusting? I’m sure many people would still refuse to believe that it was their spouse. After all, the root word in faithful is ‘faith’. I chuckle when I hear some people talk about how their SO can’t lie, or that they can always tell. I’m sure their SO’s chuckle too, in private. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/27 "2011-02-09T21:19:03Z")
I have a weird dichotomy here. My SO can hide things from me very well - birthday presents and such. However, he is such a stickler for the rules I have a hard time believing he could do such a thing. Maybe in a fit of passion, but a premeditated crime? Probably not. Sometimes I want to yell at him, though, for never ever breaking the rules! ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2011, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/28 "2011-02-09T22:03:50Z")
wonderfool can’t lie either, so believing in him wouldn’t be that difficult. Plus I simply wouldn’t ever think he’d be capable of hurting anything / anyone, so I’d have to support him anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/29 "2011-02-10T01:37:04Z")
I dunno. . . Mig’s a pretty good liar! And he did have that shady youth to consider. I guess it depends on the charge. The OP says it’s something out of character so that leaves out violence. I can’t imagine him ever hurting a child in any way so I’d probably stand by him against that accusation. I think I’d have to really look him in the eye if it was robbery. He’s tired of being poor and he has a history of petty theft in his youth. I like to think he’s above that sort of thing but I know he’s no saint. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/30 "2011-02-10T03:28:25Z")
The cops fuck things up all the time. I’m definitely in the supportive spouse camp. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/31 "2011-02-10T04:39:16Z")
I was reading this thread yesterday and thinking, no way, I could never believe him capable of any crime. Then he comes home after work and starts ranting about he almost went into a road rage on his way home (traffic in Seoul is insane, to be fair). So if the crime was road rage, I’d probably believe it, but then again, I doubt he’d deny it either. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Jay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b77776/32.png) [@The\_Jay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Jay)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/32 "2011-02-10T10:54:35Z")
If the evidence is such that were I on a jury that I would convict a stranger, then I would also convict my SO. I’m a fair and balanced juror like that. ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/33 "2011-02-10T11:17:35Z")
I might not believe her, but I’d support her and maintain her innocence nevertheless. Loyalty is the only virtue. [Of course, that covers ‘terrible’ crimes such as murder, kidnapping and theft: ‘horrific’ crimes deserve no protection.] ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/34 "2011-02-10T11:55:33Z")
I’d believe my husband unless faced with overwhelming evidence to the contrary. ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/35 "2011-02-10T12:38:26Z")
I would back up my wife, period. She is everything to me. I have never met a kinder, more graceful person. She absolutely adores me, trusts me, and respects me. I will defend and protect her to the furthest extent possible because I consider it part of my responsibilities as her husband. Law enforcement will receive no assistance from me in this scenario. I will be obstructive and diversionary and I will not make _any_ statements, comments or willfully provide _anything_ that could in any way be used against my wife or her character. I will act in her defense even if it destroys me. I am loyal. ---
**Author:** ![fifty-six](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@fifty-six](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fifty-six)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2011, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697/36 "2011-02-10T20:26:28Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > I would back up my wife, period. She is everything to me. I have never met a kinder, more graceful person. She absolutely adores me, trusts me, and respects me. I will defend and protect her to the furthest extent possible because I consider it part of my responsibilities as her husband. > > Law enforcement will receive no assistance from me in this scenario. I will be obstructive and diversionary and I will not make _any_ statements, comments or willfully provide _anything_ that could in any way be used against my wife or her character. I will act in her defense even if it destroys me. > > I am loyal. Same here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-be-the-supportive-trusting-spouse/570697.md?page=1)