# Would you buy a "gag" toaster that shot toast high into the air? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 20, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271 "2012-09-20T15:22:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/21 "2012-09-21T02:36:39Z")
Now that I am old and my kids are grown, no I wouldn’t. When they were young I would have loved one, what a hoot at the table. And how impressive when they have friends sleep over. Even cooler than making Queen Ida’s popcorn balls. ---
**Author:** ![Enola\_Gay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ab097/32.png) [@Enola\_Gay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enola_Gay)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/22 "2012-09-21T02:39:10Z")
I might buy one as a passive-aggressive gift. Like for a boss I hate or my mother-in-law, but I wouldn’t want one myself. I already have a squirting blender ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/23 "2012-09-21T04:06:42Z")
I, the creator of Toasterman, would, of course, buy it. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/24 "2012-09-21T10:01:43Z")
> [@DrCube](#): > > I’m with TriPolar. If you want a toaster for “serious” reasons, you get a toaster oven. The only reason to get the kind with slots is to act out your childish cartoon fantasies, and for that you need a projectile toaster. Either that, or to use it as a component in a Rube Goldberg/Pee Wee Herman type machine. > [@kayaker](#): > > Toaster oven. Are there actually toaster ovens that don’t take longer than a regular toaster? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/25 "2012-09-21T11:16:45Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Are there actually toaster ovens that don’t take longer than a regular toaster? What’s your big hurry? ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/26 "2012-09-21T15:35:22Z")
No, but I once had a toaster that popped the slices out a couple of inches. I joked that they reached escape velocity. ---
**Author:** ![nion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nion)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2012, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/27 "2012-09-22T06:45:24Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > No. Nor would I buy a squirting blender, a joy-buzzer frying pan, or a whoopie coffeemaker. I’ve now been I envisioning a farting coffeemaker for a short while. I find the idea both profoundly disturbing and delightfully entertaining. Bonus points if the flatus is random and therefore unpredictable. Perhaps it signals the end of the brew cycle? Perhaps I simply require sleep. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2012, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/28 "2012-09-22T13:35:26Z")
> [@nion](#): > > I’ve now been I envisioning a farting coffeemaker for a short while. I find the idea both profoundly disturbing and delightfully entertaining. Bonus points if the flatus is random and therefore unpredictable. Perhaps it signals the end of the brew cycle? > > Perhaps I simply require sleep. Have you ever seen a percolator? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/29 "2012-09-22T14:18:18Z")
I might consider a novelty toaster that toasted an image onto the bread. I probably wouldn’t actually buy one, since that sort of thing tends to be way overpriced and I’m too frugal, but I can definitely see the appeal. But this? No. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/30 "2012-09-22T15:24:20Z")
I have a feeling a lot of people in this thread wouldn’t order Rocket Powered Rollerskates, Earthquake Pills, Giant Slingshots, or anything else out of the Acme Catalog. ---
**Author:** ![nion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@nion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nion)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2012, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/31 "2012-09-22T16:34:15Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Have you ever seen a percolator? Seen but never heard. I have to admit my curiosity was peaked, but YouTube failed to deliver much in the way of audio satisfaction. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Fallsguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bb73d2/32.png) [@Fallsguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fallsguy)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/32 "2012-09-23T13:11:27Z")
Intentionally no I wouldn’t. Unintentionally I actually bought 1. It shot the toast 3’ high straight up. I returned it and had them test the new 1 at the store. Yes I actually brought 2 slices of bread with me. I debated keeping the first one and re gifting it, but I didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2012, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/33 "2012-09-23T13:24:36Z")
Only if it had a range of a thousand yards and a CREP of under 3 feet, so I could target neighbors having breakfast on their decks. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/34 "2012-09-24T13:50:10Z")
I would not buy this product. My reason is that if I _did_ have a toaster that shot the toast up into the air, then I would have to buy a crossbow and I would spend hours attempting to impale both slices of toast in mid-air with my crossbow. This would not be a valuable use of my time, and it would cause a lot of damage to the walls of my kitchen. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/35 "2012-09-24T13:55:34Z")
OK, now my Monday morning is completely ruined because **August West’s** last post made me spew liquid onto my keyboard. \ Really, that was funny. Crossbow, indeed. \ ---
**Author:** ![AaronX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7bcc69/32.png) [@AaronX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AaronX)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/36 "2012-09-24T14:16:40Z")
I would only buy it to do what August West proposed. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/37 "2012-09-24T20:52:33Z")
> [@AaronX](#): > > I would only buy it to do what August West proposed. I can not even imagine how satisfying that day would be; Two slices of golden-brown toast pinned to the wall, a still-quivering bolt in their center. My god, I would tell everyone about it. [QUOTE=Fallsguy] Intentionally no I wouldn’t. Unintentionally I actually bought 1. It shot the toast 3’ high straight up. [/quote] How the hell did you resist the urge to buy a crossbow!? Sorry about your keyboard, **Gagu**! ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271/38 "2012-09-24T22:44:08Z")
Sounds wonderful to me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-buy-a-gag-toaster-that-shot-toast-high-into-the-air/635271.md?page=1)