# Would you cheat on your spouse?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 30, 2001, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901 "2001-08-30T07:27:27Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@HairyPotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HairyPotter)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/1 "2001-08-30T07:27:27Z")
I am a nobody who is married, and who considers the marriage vow a personal and sacred trust. I have never cheated on my spouse, and I believe that I have the self-control and ethical/moral commitment to remain faithful to my spouse. Being a nobody, I am presented with relatively few “challenges” to the vow of marital fidelity.
Celeberties and individuals holding positions of significant power are often “sexual magnets”, drawing frequent “challenges” to their marital fidelity. I believe I could resist such frequent “challenges” if I were in a position to receive them; but, one never truly knows how one would respond to an extreme situation if one were presented with it.
I would like to hear what others think about this topic.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/2 "2001-08-30T12:29:10Z")
I’m not married and I don’t have a girlfriend. But I have never cheated on a girlfriend and would not cheat on a spouse if I had one.
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### Author:  [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/3 "2001-08-30T12:35:21Z")
I could just as easily cheat on Lola as I could cut off my own penis… which I wouldn’t have to do because she would more than happy to do it herself. In short, never in a million years.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/4 "2001-08-30T12:47:09Z")
No way, and Pepper Mill knows it, too.
1. I was raised that way, and it was pounded into me. It took, too.
2. It’s cheap and crass.
3. It’s not likely I’m going to be seriously tempted, anyway.
4. Nobody knows my perversions as well as Pepper, in any case.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/5 "2001-08-30T12:52:26Z")
I hope I never meet a lady attractive enough to tempt me to get my legs broken and her killed. See, I married a woman from Wisconsin, the state that gave us Jeffrey Dahmer and the Bates Hotel…
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/6 "2001-08-30T12:59:05Z")
> [@](#):
>
> See, I married a woman from Wisconsin, the state that gave us Jeffrey Dahmer and the Bates Hotel…
Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gien **and** John Wayne Gacy.
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### Author:  [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/7 "2001-08-30T13:39:41Z")
hmmm… nah, not like i’m ever gonna see anyone who’d make me cheat on my boyfriend. _little hearts dance all around my head as i glance at him_ 🙂
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/8 "2001-08-30T13:51:59Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Johnny L.A. \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > See, I married a woman from Wisconsin, the state that gave us Jeffrey Dahmer and the Bates Hotel…
>
> Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gien **and** John Wayne Gacy. \*\*
Christ, it’s worse than I thought.
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### Author:  [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/9 "2001-08-30T14:15:50Z")
I cheated on a boyfriend Back In The Day.
Having gone through that experience, I know I never, ever, want to be in that position again. The little lies I told myself, the ugly way I felt trying to justify it, the anxiety about being caught. I loathed myself for that. It’s no way to live, knowing you’re a disgusting dishonest slimeball but hiding that little fact from your conscience all the time. Ugh.
And having been cheated on by a boyfriend, I would never, ever want my husband to go through what I went through. The way I felt, like I’d been shot, when I found the evidence. The way it shattered my self-confidence, my trust. The way I devoted all kinds of energy torturing myself by trying to figure out how much of our relationship had been a lie. I wouldn’t do that to someone I love.
So no, no, no, I wouldn’t.
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### Author:  [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/10 "2001-08-30T14:17:29Z")
Who’s going to say they would?
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/11 "2001-08-30T14:25:09Z")
Hey, hey! Jeffrey Dahmer was an Ohio native, and started killing before moving to Wisconsin.
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### Author:  [@SoMoMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SoMoMom)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/12 "2001-08-30T15:34:39Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Legomancer \*
> \*\*Who’s going to say they would? \*\*
Let’s just say that after 14 years of marriage which began when _I_ was way too young to understand what “forever” means that I cannot say that I would _never_ under any circumstances. I have never though, how’s that?
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### Author:  [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/13 "2001-08-30T15:43:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by SoMoMom \*
> \*\*
>
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Legomancer \*
> > \*\*Who’s going to say they would? \*\*
>
> Let’s just say that after 14 years of marriage which began when _I_ was way too young to understand what “forever” means that I cannot say that I would _never_ under any circumstances. I have never though, how’s that? \*\*
What I meant was not “Who would?” because for all I know, I might. I’ve cheated on girlfriends before, which I’m not rpoud of, but it establishes a precedent. I don’t think I would cheat on my wife (except for Jennifer Connelly, and I have her thumbs up on that), and I haven’t, but who knows?
But the thing is, who would SAY that they would? I seriously doubt anyone’s gonna say, “Oh yeah, the right person comes my way and bam, ring-be-damned!”
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### Author:  [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/14 "2001-08-30T16:14:25Z")
“'Til Death do us Part, _forsaking all others_.”
Nope. Plus, it’s gross. I can not imagine having to go home and lie to my husband/boyfriend/whatever the future brings, after being with another man. Period.
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### Author:  [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/15 "2001-08-30T16:31:32Z")
I won’t say never, but I’ve never been particularly tempted when I’m involved with someone. Even during my terrible first marriage I passed up many opportunities with nary a twinge.
In my current marriage it would be very difficult to cheat. All I have to do is ask first. I’ve never had the urge to ask, though.
But, I have seen way to many people who say “never!” actually do it. Every time it is “they made me feel special,” “they made me feel important,” etc. Once you’ve been with someone for a long period it is natural that the passion is going to wane to some degree. Experience that rush of “new love” proves too irresistable to too many people for me to deny its power.
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### Author:  [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/16 "2001-08-30T16:47:26Z")
I would **never** take the chance of putting my present wife through the heartache my first wife put _me_ through.
FTR, I’ve had a couple of offers, and while I can be incredibly self-indulgent at times, I’m also pretty stubborn.
[sub]Bitter? Me? Naw![/sub]
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### Author:  [@robbaba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robbaba)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/17 "2001-08-30T17:25:21Z")
\<\\>
As proud as I am about all the serial killers from my home state. Gacy was born and lived in Chicago.
As to the OP, I couldn’t respect myself if I ever cheated on my wife. I do know a lot of people who have cheated so I believe it is difficult to resist in certain circumstances.
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### Author:  [@Agent0069](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent0069)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/18 "2001-08-30T17:49:36Z")
NO WAY.
I was married for 5 years…we were together for 10. Before we got married, we would go at it numerous times each day. Once we got married, I was lucky to get it once a month. I personally enjoy it a few times a day…but I can handle once a day. it was very difficult for me to live with once a month, but I did. When I got to the point that I was contemplating cheating, I knew it was time for me to go, and I did. I was not going to lower myself to that level, and let him have the opportunity to call me a cheater.
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### Author:  [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/19 "2001-08-30T18:34:15Z")
I’m not married yet but I haven’t cheated on my fiance and I don’t plan on ever cheating on him… married or not.
My SO’s first wife cheated on him and it broke his heart. He had a hard time trusting women for awhile and he still gets jealous every now and then too. He doesn’t have anything to worry about though. I can’t picture myself being with anyone but him and that’s the way it’s going to stay.
The only person I ever cheated on was my ex husband but I didn’t love him and he didn’t love me. Cheating is cheating but you really had to be in the relationship to understand I guess.
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### Author:  [@WEW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WEW)
#### Post date: [August 30, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-cheat-on-your-spouse/78901/20 "2001-08-30T18:46:56Z")
There was a time that I would have. I became emotionally attached to a co-worker. The Mrs. and I were not getting along well. We worked oposite hours, so we did not see each other much, and I became enchanted by this woman.
I never touched her, but she knew (to some degree) how I felt. I found out, about 2 years after we no longer worked together, that, had I offered, she would have accepted. The male side of me says, “Damn, that would have been fun.”, but I am so glad that I never did. I would much rather live with the remorse of not doing something that I could have done than the other way around.
I still feel guilt about the emotional attachment that I had. I guess, in a way, I was unfaithful. I know that, even though I have not spoken to or seen the other woman in two years, if Mrs. WEW found out how I felt, it would be ugly.
It’s over, and I’ve let it go, but, in retrospect, I wish I’d never allowed myself to stray as far as I did.
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