# Would you date a 40-year-old virgin? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 16, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455 "2014-10-16T00:11:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/1 "2014-10-16T00:11:25Z")
I am just curious to see how much of a hard time an actual 40-year-old virgin would have in the real world regarding dating. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/2 "2014-10-16T00:12:04Z")
Speaking as a 58-year old male virgin…yes, I still manage to get asked on dates now and then. ---
**Author:** ![R3d\_Anonymous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aeb1de/32.png) [@R3d\_Anonymous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/R3d_Anonymous)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/3 "2014-10-16T00:13:29Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Speaking as a 58-year old male virgin…yes, I still manage to get asked on dates now and then. Damn dude… Wait, how are you still a virgin? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/4 "2014-10-16T00:20:28Z")
I wouldn’t date a 40 year old. But in a few years, if I was single? Sure. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/5 "2014-10-16T00:25:56Z")
I’m afraid the closest I could get would be two 20-year-old virgin ladies. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/6 "2014-10-16T00:50:12Z")
Depends - \*\*\*why \*\*\*are they still a virgin at 40? Through their own fault, or not? ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/7 "2014-10-16T00:55:31Z")
Presumably I wouldn’t know he was a virgin until after the first date. I imagine it’s not the sort of thing most people share casually. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/8 "2014-10-16T00:55:35Z")
Sorry, but no. I had enough sexual hangups from waiting until I was 24 (stupid religious reasons), that there’s no way I’d want to deal with what someone had rattling around in their head from almost twice as long. It’d be too difficult. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/9 "2014-10-16T00:57:20Z")
I wish this poll was broken down by sex… ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/10 "2014-10-16T01:02:22Z")
Shrug, I’m a 46yo not very experienced woman… at least this particular cradle snatch wouldn’t come with an ex-wife and 2.5 weekend children, that would be more of a problem and at our ages it’s much more likely. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/11 "2014-10-16T01:22:41Z")
> [@John\_DiFool](#): > > I wish this poll was broken down by sex… I wish so, too. I suspect the overwhelming majority of women would refuse to date a 40-year virgin man, and the majority of men would be willing to date a 40-year virgin woman. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/12 "2014-10-16T01:31:08Z")
I would not rule out getting to know a 40-year-old virgin but if our relationship were to go beyond casual friendship, I would expect her not to remain a virgin. I wouldn’t enter into a sexless romantic relationship. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/13 "2014-10-16T01:32:52Z")
I’m a woman, and I’d date a 40-year old virgin. Life happens. Sex and love and psychology are all complicated things, and sometimes, something you assumed would just happen doesn’t, and as your age climbs ever higher, it’s more and more difficult to put together the circumstances wherein it _can_ happen. I was a virgin until I was 24, and the only reason I had sex then was because I gave up waiting to be in love in order to have sex. I can certainly understand why another person might not have managed it for another 16 years. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/14 "2014-10-16T01:59:10Z")
Didn’t we do this one not that long ago? Or was that one without a poll? ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/15 "2014-10-16T02:03:40Z")
No. As a male, I don’t need that shit. If you’re 40 and a virgin then you’re a seriously messed up person. At least way more messed up than I would consider normal. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/16 "2014-10-16T02:15:59Z")
Oh hell no! To begin with, there are very few 40 year old men I would consider going out with in the first place. Secondly, who wants to deal with the baggage of someone who has not found reason or inclination to get laid by that age? ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/17 "2014-10-16T02:32:52Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > I wish so, too. > I suspect the overwhelming majority of women would refuse to date a 40-year virgin man, and the majority of men would be willing to date a 40-year virgin woman. Eh. The age thing is a separate issue, since my preferences generally skew younger, but let’s leave that aside. If I was actively looking to date a 40 year old woman, while the virginity wouldn’t be deal breaker (few things would) I’d definitely _prefer_ someone who wasn’t. While there are lots of reasons someone might be a virgin past the usual age, one thing it _might_ indicate is that she isn’t very interested in sex or doesn’t have a strong sex drive. That would be a turnoff, no question. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/18 "2014-10-16T02:42:25Z")
> [@Small\_Hen](#): > > Presumably I wouldn’t know he was a virgin until after the first date. I imagine it’s not the sort of thing most people share casually. See post #2. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/19 "2014-10-16T02:45:31Z")
I’m guessing that in most cases a 40 year old virgin would have social hang ups that would scare away most potential dates. I know I had enough trouble as an inexperienced, but not virgin, 30 year old. It wasn’t insurmountable, as I got married in my early thirties. I’m guessing that if I hadn’t moved to a large city I would have ended up as a 40 year old who had gone many, many years without sex. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2014, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455/20 "2014-10-16T02:46:56Z")
> [@R3d\_Anonymous](#): > > Damn dude… > > Wait, how are you still a virgin? Do you really need this explained? > [@Small\_Hen](#): > > Presumably I wouldn’t know he was a virgin until after the first date. I imagine it’s not the sort of thing most people share casually. I think a 40 year old virgin _wouldn’t get_ to the first date, period. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-40-year-old-virgin/701455.md?page=2)