# Would you date a BBW? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 14, 2014, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711 "2014-03-14T19:39:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/101 "2014-03-16T21:58:31Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Given how weirdly invested you’ve been in this thread, and how quick you are to jump into any thread I’ve pointed out a painful lack of self-awareness of others, I assumed you would share the same quality of people who can’t own up to it. If you were to do a search on my posting history, you’d find that I’m honest enough to admit that I have a blindspot and that I’m not the most “self-aware” person in the world. Which means I’m wise enough not to speak as if I’m more evolved and enlightened than anyone else. I most certainly don’t go around psychoanalyzing people, as you seem to enjoy doing. I have enough awareness to know that’s not cute. The guy who brags about how he’s so much smarter and cooler than the company he chooses to keep is a straight-up clown. It’s pretty hard not to laugh at him. Sorry if you can’t see why this is amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/102 "2014-03-16T22:10:27Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > If you were to do a search on my posting history, you’d find that I’m honest enough to admit that I have a blindspot and that I’m not the most “self-aware” person in the world. > > Which means I’m wise enough not to speak as if I’m more evolved and enlightened than anyone else. I most certainly don’t go around psychoanalyzing people, as you seem to enjoy doing. I have enough awareness to know that’s not cute. > > The guy who brags about how he’s so much smarter and cooler than the company he chooses to keep is a straight-up clown. It’s pretty hard not to laugh at him. Sorry if you can’t see why this is amusing. Hey I gotta give everybody else out there something to aspire towards! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Dord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@The\_Dord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Dord)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/103 "2014-03-16T23:24:40Z")
I would, but then again I haven’t dated anyone in ages. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/104 "2014-03-17T00:34:08Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I have met a lot of heavier women over the years that I really liked a lot but I was not able to get past the physical attraction. I feel like an ass for saying that but it just the truth. I think that’s fine. We like what we like. My objection to the OP is that he declares as universal fact things about larger women that can’t possibly be true about every single woman over whatever arbitrary weight he decides separates fat obese cows from attractive women. As if he gets to decide as a universal truth what is and isn’t attractive for everyone for all time. > [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Maybe I didn’t word it right, they are still attracted to and date the heavy women. Before the band they did not date heavy women. My opinion on the atttraction I think has to do with seeing all heavy women and finding the most attractive in the bunch. They are always telling me how much fun they have. Guys have to deal with peer pressure too. At some point, guys who do like heavy women do have to deal with the same social pressures that we do. Some guys choose not to. And stay “closeted.” Other guys get past it and pursue women they find attractive and don’t care what people think. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/105 "2014-03-17T00:56:18Z")
Leaving out the Urrg, no I wouldn’t basically because I’m not sexually attracted to them. I make no judgement about personality based on appearance, I’m happy to work and/or socialise with people of all body shapes and sizes, but the extension of dating is that if it works out you’re going to be doing the horizontal lambada at some point and that doesn’t work for me with BBW. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/106 "2014-03-17T01:10:15Z")
> [@Inna\_Minnit](#): > > I think that’s fine. We like what we like. My objection to the OP is that he declares as universal fact things about larger women that can’t possibly be true about every single woman over whatever arbitrary weight he decides separates fat obese cows from attractive women. I never declared my opinion as a universal fact. Anything outside what I stated is a testament to your own insecurity. And since you said you were so sure you are awesome in your own skin I don’t see how anything I said would bother you enough to mention it any further. There are men that like women who take care of themselves, and there are men that like women who make bathroom scales do a 360. ---
**Author:** ![Inna\_Minnit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Inna\_Minnit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inna_Minnit)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/107 "2014-03-17T01:12:58Z")
There are women who like men who are bright enough to understand when they are being spoken to and when they are not. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/108 "2014-03-17T02:09:47Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > There are men that like women who take care of themselves, and there are men that like women who make bathroom scales do a 360. And there are men who regard women as _people_, rather than a collection of attributes. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/109 "2014-03-17T02:44:33Z")
Apart from the “ugh” my answer is No. I likes what I likes. ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/110 "2014-03-17T03:54:26Z")
Sorry but the answer is no, fitness and diet are a part of my lifestyle and I would expect any partner to be the same. So simply put she would not fit the life that I wish to live with her. I am not anti-fat or anything at the end of the day we all live how we wish to live. ---
**Author:** ![GreenElf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@GreenElf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreenElf)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/111 "2014-03-17T06:06:57Z")
No, unless she’s a shapely, attractive black woman like Delotta Brown. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/112 "2014-03-17T07:18:43Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > \ > > At least in my experience, the overweight women in their 20s and 30s had issues that directly tied to them being overweight. They weren’t overachievers; in fact they were _less_ likely to be so. They were fat because they ate too much and weren’t active enough, but that issue blobbed to other aspects of their life; either they were just overall lazy, delusional, passive, dumb, etc. I’m sure a lot of people are going to come stampeding in here to say, “Oh that’s not true, being fat has nothing to do with my personality, what about lazy/psycho/dumb skinny women?”. Sure thin/conventionally attractive women can have the same flaws, but its not tied to their weight. \ I’m just going to let this paragraph sit here. Apparently, in the OP’s experience, all fat women are lazy, delusional, passive, dumb, or etc. and by the way, that’s why they are fat. I find it difficult to believe an intelligent adult believes a complicated issue like weight can be summed up by “laziness.” ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2014, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/113 "2014-03-17T07:21:04Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Here’s a weird alternate theory: I get attracted to _women_, not _sizes of_ women. I’ve been attracted to, and fallen in love with, large women, skinny women, and everything in between. I’m not a BBW-lover in the sense that I didn’t select \*for \*overweight women during my single years, but I didn’t filter them _out_, either. > > If a large woman is a person who’s fun to be with, I will want to be with her, same as with a skinny woman who’s fun to be with. If it turns out, as it did with my wife, that we connect in deeper ways, the weight is neither here nor there. > > And once you connect with a woman in deeper ways, it’s not a matter of her v. someone else, it’s all about you and her, and whether it’ll work with her now and into the future. Amen! Substitute “men” for “women” and I agree with every word. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/114 "2014-03-18T00:33:38Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > A quick google (using profanity, natch) didn’t cough it up, but I recall that researchers have shown that we become more attracted to people we have sex with as we continue having sex with them. A partner you found “acceptable” physically will most likely turn in to “damn that’s hot!” as the weeks turn into months turn into years. There’s the [mere exposure effect](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mere-exposure_effect), but that doesn’t require sex. Though I imagine it helps. > [@Incubus](#): > > There are men that like women who take care of themselves, and there are men that like women who make bathroom scales do a 360. And, of courae, men who like women who both take care of themselves and make the scale do a 360. I’m sure the implication that the two are mutually exclusive was entirely unintentional. ---
**Author:** ![Melchior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Melchior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melchior)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/115 "2014-03-18T00:39:09Z")
All my experiences with overweight women have been negative, even with those who lost all the excess weight. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2014, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/116 "2014-03-18T00:58:58Z")
> [@Brynda](#): > > I’m just going to let this paragraph sit here. Apparently, in the OP’s experience, all fat women are lazy, delusional, passive, dumb, or etc. and by the way, that’s why they are fat. I find it difficult to believe an intelligent adult believes a complicated issue like weight can be summed up by “laziness.” Maybe he’s the Paul Ryan of weight issues. > [@Brynda](#): > > Amen! Substitute “men” for “women” and I agree with every word. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/117 "2014-03-20T17:10:46Z")
> [@Melchior](#): > > All my experiences with overweight women have been negative, even with those who lost all the excess weight. Why do you think that is? In my own experience, it was because the women that were overweight had qualities I could definitely tie to their weight. For example, one woman didn’t think she was smart enough to go to college. She would make these half-hearted attempts, but it seemed more to justify that it was outside her ability. She never seriously commited to it. Parallel to that, she never believed she could ever be thin or lose a significant amount of weight. So she never really seriously tried. She just convinced herself she couldn’t do any better. Another woman had the opposite problem. She thought she was great. She thought she was intelligent and beautiful. I’m sure a lot of guys would like to be with a woman who thinks highly of herself; I did. But beneath the surface, there was a lot of self delusion. If she did poorly in college, it was because of the professor/subject/etc. Nothing was ever her fault. She could never take inventory of her own faults and work to improve them. And her weight was the same thing- she never considered how unhealthy her lifestyle was. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/118 "2014-03-20T17:23:02Z")
> [@bup](#): > > (What does BBW stand for?) Big Beautiful Whale. ---
**Author:** ![Waenara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/50afbb/32.png) [@Waenara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waenara)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/119 "2014-03-21T09:37:00Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Why do you think that is? In my own experience, it was because the women that were overweight had qualities I could definitely tie to their weight. ISTM like maybe you’re assuming (without evidence) that any negative traits a woman has must be related to their being overweight. Low self esteem? Must be because she’s fat. Overly high self esteem and blaming failures on others? Because she’s fat. You might want to be sitting down now, but plenty of thin women have low self esteem due to perceived personal failings. And lots of thin women have an overly inflated ego. It seems like the main thing a thin women has going for them is that they don’t have to risk that any personal issues they have will automatically be attributed to their weight. ---
**Author:** ![AstroCreep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@AstroCreep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AstroCreep)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2014, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711/120 "2014-10-15T03:35:43Z")
Yes, I woud. And have, in fact. Although I’m thin, I’ve never discounted any girl because of weight. A BBW can have the same qualities , in bed, and more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-bbw/683711.md?page=7)