# Would you date a fat person that wore tight clothes all the time? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 26, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077 "2014-07-26T03:09:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/41 "2014-07-27T12:43:32Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I’m beginning to think it’s his _wife_ that’s severely overweight and he’s worried he’s constantly being negatively judged for it. That would explain so much. I suspect it’s his mom. I wonder if it’s not that she is both overweight and miserable, and in his mind it has to be someone’s fault. He blames her, because otherwise he’d have to blame himself (though of course there us a huge excluded middle there, but I doubt he sees that). Basically, he’s mad at his mom for being miserable and making him feel helpless, so he’s looking for validation that it is 100% her. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/42 "2014-07-27T13:26:39Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Here’s my theory: > > At his large Mexican wedding, he met a lot of his wife’s relatives and they happened to be very fat. (They also happened to be well dressed, not because they were at a wedding but because they are Mexicanly superior to Dopers and dress like that at the grocery store too, even though they are fat. While we are all gringo slobs who don’t work hard.) > > Anyway, despite being well dressed these people were fat and shared genes with his wife. It scares the shit out of him that his wife could get fat as she got older or had kids, like her relatives, so he has to rationalize it: these people, and all people are fat because they are less intelligent and care less about themselves than my wife and me. They have given up and are 100% responsible for their size. It has nothing to do with genes. As long as my wife stays more intelligent and morally superior to these folks, I will never have a fat wife. > > He could never stay married to a fat woman, but couldn’t divorce a Mexican. Because her cousins are all in a gang and would kill him. I know this because all of the Mexican I know is in a gang. I think this is probably it. Except for the gang part. The reason why he can’t divorce his wife is because a lot of his self-worth is tied up with being married to a hot Mexican woman who makes twice as much money as he does. As a singleton, he’ll be left alone with the spergy neckbeards he plays tournaments with. There will be nothing left to distinguish him from them. His wife is biggest accomplishment in life. Mexico’s people have the highest obesity rate in the world. [Bus drivers](http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2013/05/19/bus-drivers-most-obese-workers/2194005/) have the highest obesity rate out of all occupations. So **Incubus** is surrounded by fat people all the time and it scares the bejeesus out of him. In his mind, the more he hates on them, the less likely he will become one of them. I’m guessing his wife is on the thick side…hence why he describes her as skinny by American standards. If she were really skinny, he would just say she was skinny. He’ll keep saying this as she graduates to a size 16. And then when her fatness becomes undeniable, he’ll excuse it away as it being stubborn baby weight (if that’s what it is) or the unfortunate result of illness. It will be virtuous fat, though, because his wife won’t be no sloppy pig like those Wal Martians. She will be able to to carry it well. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/43 "2014-07-27T14:31:32Z")
yep, y’all nailed it. poor guy… ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/44 "2014-07-27T14:37:27Z")
That’s right, y’all. And the reason he’ll be able to justify it so well? Because she dresses excellently, which she’d be able to do due to both their high salaries. Also in turn a result of their superior intellects. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/45 "2014-07-27T15:11:52Z")
I am guessing he is not a fan of the late [Jenni Rivera](https://www.google.com/search?q=jenni+rivera&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=RRbVU9XTI6qd8gHrzoCoAQ&sqi=2&ved=0CAgQ_AUoAw&biw=1024&bih=677). Mexican singer who died in a plane crash. Definitely wore tight clothes a lot, and was fat. Or she one of his exceptions? ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/46 "2014-07-27T15:14:50Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I think this is probably it. Except for the gang part. The reason why he can’t divorce his wife is because a lot of his self-worth is tied up with being married to a hot Mexican woman who makes twice as much money as he does. As a singleton, he’ll be left alone with the spergy neckbeards he plays tournaments with. **There will be nothing left to distinguish him from them. His wife is biggest accomplishment in life.** This resonates truth with me. As weird as it is to analyze the OP, I think he shoehorns her into almost every post because yes, he is proud of her, but also because he has a vested interest in having us believe she is the Perfect Woman With High Standards. Whether or not her standards are in fact truly high remains a mystery, but if he sells us on that idea, he will feel as though no one has any reason to regard him as a low-status mediocretin. I have heard no person–man or woman–make as big of a deal over their mate’s so-called high standards as I have seen from **Incubus**. The way he looks up to her and uses her for validation also makes me think there is a mother-child power dynamic going on, especially since he always touts the kinds of strengths you see in mother bear figures. Organization skills, assertiveness, a no-nonsense demeanor. It gives the impression that he isn’t in the power seat in the relationship, which may mean he can’t give her feedback about her weight without risking emotional estrangement. So how does he cope? He redirects his focus to other people. And it is _they_ who can’t handle criticism, you see. Never mind the fact that most normal people do not go around criticizing people who displease them because of their weight and clothing choices. In real life, he doesn’t either, he just acts like he does so he can speak like an expert on how the fatties can’t handle the truth. One thing unclear to me is why is her Mexicanness such a prominent detail in his descriptions of her? Is it because of the “exotic” factor or something? All I know is that if my bf constantly worked my race and ethnicity into every conversation about me…well, knowing me, I would probably not be with someone who did that. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/47 "2014-07-27T15:30:00Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > One thing unclear to me is why is her Mexicanness such a prominent detail in his descriptions of her? Is it because of the “exotic” factor or something? All I know is that if my bf constantly worked my race and ethnicity into every conversation about me…well, knowing me, I would probably not be with someone who did that. Blacks and Hispanics are automatically cool. If you’re a white person with a black or Hispanic SO, their coolness rubs off on you, further distinguishing you from the whitebread spergy neckbeards you would otherwise be lumped in with. It also gives you permission to talk about race and culture as if you’re an expert. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/48 "2014-07-27T17:23:27Z")
Incubus is the guy who’s “perfect” wife’s uncle would lock himself into a bedroom with a very young girl for long periods of time, and not talk about what on in there, right? And rather than risk rocking the boat with his “hot” wife he decided to just let the old perv have his jollies. I don’t care how hot his wife is or how much money she makes, letting a little girl possibly continue being molested because it’s too much trouble to deal with otherwise made me lose respect for \*\*Incubus \*\*a long long time ago. These kinds of threads are merely icing on that cake. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/49 "2014-07-27T19:17:44Z")
> [@GrandWino](#): > > Incubus is the guy who’s “perfect” wife’s uncle would lock himself into a bedroom with a very young girl for long periods of time, and not talk about what on in there, right? And rather than risk rocking the boat with his “hot” wife he decided to just let the old perv have his jollies. > > I don’t care how hot his wife is or how much money she makes, letting a little girl possibly continue being molested because it’s too much trouble to deal with otherwise made me lose respect for \*\*Incubus \*\*a long long time ago. These kinds of threads are merely icing on that cake. Thanks for confirming that. I had been searching his history earlier, thinking the same thing. But [here it is](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=631612). Even better, his hot wife had worked for CPS. Awesome moral high ground you have there, **Incubus**. You say your pal’s fat ex had all kinds of excuses for her inaction in improving her life. What’s your and your hot wife’s excuse for not possibly saving another’s life? ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/50 "2014-07-27T19:26:14Z")
Ah, I see. Crusader for all that is well and good when confronted with an ill-dressed fat person on the street, but too cowardly to help a little girl who is being molested by her father. What a guy! ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/51 "2014-07-27T19:27:17Z")
are we talking confident roll defining clothes? ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/52 "2014-07-27T20:27:43Z")
I am not embarrassed, nor do I feel guilty to admit, that I would not date someone who wore their clothing too tight. I would not date anyone who wore their clothing too loose either. I expect a man to dress properly, be well groomed and neat. His shoes should be shiny (if they are that type.) No loose threads at the hems no missing buttons and absolutely no beer bellies or butt cracks. If I was in the market for a date I would want to date someone who cared about their health. I wouldn’t date a smoker either. I do not care what you drive or what your bank account holds; but your self respect, yes I expect you to have plenty of that. If this makes me a shallow person so be it. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/53 "2014-07-27T20:45:44Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Thanks for confirming that. I had been searching his history earlier, thinking the same thing. But [here it is](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=631612). Even better, his hot wife had worked for CPS. > > Awesome moral high ground you have there, **Incubus**. You say your pal’s fat ex had all kinds of excuses for her inaction in improving her life. What’s your and your hot wife’s excuse for not possibly saving another’s life? Oh shit, I remember that thread, and posted to it. Incubus is _that_ guy? Credibility. Gone. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/54 "2014-07-27T21:33:09Z")
> [@CT\_Damsel](#): > > I am not embarrassed, nor do I feel guilty to admit, that I would not date someone who wore their clothing too tight. I would not date anyone who wore their clothing too loose either. I expect a man to dress properly, be well groomed and neat. His shoes should be shiny (if they are that type.) No loose threads at the hems no missing buttons and absolutely no beer bellies or butt cracks. If I was in the market for a date I would want to date someone who cared about their health. I wouldn’t date a smoker either. I do not care what you drive or what your bank account holds; but your self respect, yes I expect you to have plenty of that. If this makes me a shallow person so be it. That’s fine. Everyone has preferences. Just don’t write a bunch of posts about how people who don’t match your preferences are less intelligent and morally inferior to you. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2014, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/55 "2014-07-27T23:42:12Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > In real life, he doesn’t either, he just acts like he does so he can speak like an expert on how the fatties can’t handle the truth. And can’t TELL the truth. [Unless, of course, they weigh less that 160lbs, or are super-confident.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17584288&postcount=19) ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/56 "2014-07-28T00:03:26Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > And can’t TELL the truth. [Unless, of course, they weigh less that 160lbs, or are super-confident.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17584288&postcount=19) That suggestion doesn’t even make sense in the context of that thread, so I’m starting to think the guy might have some screws loose. Why would you ask a woman how much she weighs when you could just–I dunno–_look_ at her? If you’re chatting with someone online, then it already clear that dating is a possibility. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/57 "2014-07-28T00:58:19Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > That suggestion doesn’t even make sense in the context of that thread, so I’m starting to think the guy might have some screws loose. He also dropped into the [When is it okay to call a woman a slut?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=729269) thread to say that [it’s okay to call a woman a slut if she’s fat and trying to look sexy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=17581640&postcount=78). Like I said, he spends an awful lot of time thinking about this sort of thing for a married man who claims he isn’t even attracted to fat women. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/58 "2014-07-28T02:33:19Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Here’s my theory: [snip] despite being well dressed these people were fat and shared genes with his wife. It scares the shit out of him that his wife could get fat as she got older or had kids, like her relatives, so he has to rationalize it: these people, and all people are fat because they are less intelligent and care less about themselves than my wife and me. They have given up and are 100% responsible for their size. It has nothing to do with genes. As long as my wife stays more intelligent and morally superior to these folks, I will never have a fat wife. > [@MandaJo](#): > > I suspect it’s his mom. I wonder if it’s not that she is both overweight and miserable, and in his mind it has to be someone’s fault. He blames her, because otherwise he’d have to blame himself (though of course there us a huge excluded middle there, but I doubt he sees that). Basically, he’s mad at his mom for being miserable and making him feel helpless, so he’s looking for validation that it is 100% her. > [@monstro](#): > > I think this is probably it. … The reason why he can’t divorce his wife is because a lot of his self-worth is tied up with being married to a hot Mexican woman who makes twice as much money as he does. As a singleton, he’ll be left alone with the spergy neckbeards he plays tournaments with. There will be nothing left to distinguish him from them. His wife is biggest accomplishment in life. > [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > The way he looks up to her and uses her for validation also makes me think there is a mother-child power dynamic going on, especially since he always touts the kinds of strengths you see in mother bear figures. Organization skills, assertiveness, a no-nonsense demeanor. It gives the impression that he isn’t in the power seat in the relationship, which may mean he can’t give her feedback about her weight without risking emotional estrangement. So how does he cope? He redirects his focus to other people. And it is _they_ who can’t handle criticism, you see. Interesting; my theory is different. I think **Incubus** may be attracted to fat women. He’s horrified that could be true, because it goes against everything our culture says about what an attractive woman looks like. He’s internalized what he “should” find attractive - his social group probably has as well - and doesn’t anyone to know he likes fat chicks. He feels embarrassed and ashamed because he won’t even consider the possibility that these internalized “truths” are bullshit and risk being ridiculed. So he pushes these thoughts and desires down down down. He vehemently expresses how awful fat people are and how ugly and undesirable fat women are … to try to convince himself he believes it. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/59 "2014-07-28T03:58:21Z")
These are all really good theories, but you know what we’ve insured beyond a shadow of a doubt? That the poor chap won’t show back up in here no matter what. Unless, of course, it’s now to say that he’s above it all because he’s so much more evolved and enlightened than to be bothered by such untrue drivel. True story. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2014, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077/60 "2014-07-28T04:20:43Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > So he pushes these thoughts and desires down down down. He vehemently expresses how awful fat people are and how ugly and undesirable fat women are … to try to convince himself he believes it. He does rather come across like the “[Why Do All These Homosexuals Keep Sucking My Cock?](http://www.theonion.com/articles/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock,10861/)” guy, only about fat women. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-fat-person-that-wore-tight-clothes-all-the-time/694077.md?page=4)