# Would you date a person with 3 kids? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 20, 2012, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306 "2012-03-20T13:38:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/61 "2012-06-10T19:00:09Z")
Again Tom Leykis: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/x9l_909Yx-c/hqdefault.jpg "Tom Leykis Vs. A Single Mother") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9l_909Yx-c) ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/62 "2012-06-10T19:06:07Z")
> [@5f4super](#): > > Just remember - single parents have already screwed up once in their lives. If you’re a man, you know the woman won’t have an abortion and most of them are looking for a replacement daddy for their spawn, as well as a replacement wallet. Single daddies are usually looking for replacement moms, not only for their children but for themselves. > > Getting involved with a single parent is like strapping a big sign to your crotch that reads “kick me hard.” Nah I don’t buy this, there are some that fit that description, sure, but not most. I know several single moms that don’t need a man, but really want one in their lives, having a child or three makes it more complicated, but doable. Even with the best of intentions relationships sometimes don’t work out, to eliminate single parents from the dating pool is almost cruel, everyone that wants one deserves a companion, lover and friend. It can be hard dating a single mom but I have no problem with the fact that they are a mom, hell time with kids can be a ton of fun. FWIW my mom was single for a while and you know what I got? A kick ass step father, in fact I love both sets of my moms and dads. I am glad he took the chance on my mom and me, how could I not do the same? **CAPT** ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/63 "2012-06-10T19:14:23Z")
Only if they were grown, out of the house, and self-supporting. Like my current step kids. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/64 "2012-06-10T19:15:25Z")
> [@5f4super](#): > > hot dog in a hallway!!! This is not been my experience, and my wife had three kids when we met. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/65 "2012-06-10T20:51:06Z")
Not an issue for me. What kind of father he is matters, if he is or isn’t doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/66 "2012-06-10T22:37:59Z")
Dating someone with two kids. It’s not a problem. I can’t be a hypocrite, I’m expecting her to be ok with dating me and I have two kids also. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/67 "2012-06-10T22:42:15Z")
Of course I would. I’ve probably got at least three kids myself, maybe even more. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/68 "2012-06-10T23:06:37Z")
> [@Mtgman](#): > > My answer in the poll is that it would depend on the person. A widow/widower from a stable marriage? Three different baby daddies/mammas and the kids are all under the age of five? These are both “people with three kids” but the odds of them being relationship material are vastly disparate. My overall answer is that yes, I would. The kids would be a big factor in the decision, but more their details, not just the binary yes/no of their existence. > > Enjoy, > Steven I think this is like the death penalty. If you can imagine a realistic circumstance where it’s okay, then you’re a “yea.” Since I split up with my ex when I was 38, my love life has consisted of mothers and drunks, interpolated (one makes a good respite from the other). I think the absolute worst age to take on youngsters is 12, with the problems decreasing as they get farther away from there. ---
**Author:** ![zaipiaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/85f322/32.png) [@zaipiaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zaipiaz)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/69 "2012-06-10T23:14:29Z")
As a single mother, I would not date a man who does not have children of his own, specifically because of attitudes like those of the childless men in this thread. Also, I have to correct the “hot dog in a hallway” guy. Kegels, dude. Kegels. I could rock your world without moving my hips. ---
**Author:** ![5f4super](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/b5ac83/32.png) [@5f4super](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5f4super)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/70 "2012-06-11T14:52:41Z")
> [@zaipiaz](#): > > As a single mother, I would not date a man who does not have children of his own, specifically because of attitudes like those of the childless men in this thread. > > Also, I have to correct the “hot dog in a hallway” guy. Kegels, dude. Kegels. I could rock your world without moving my hips. I don’t do breeders. ---
**Author:** ![5f4super](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/b5ac83/32.png) [@5f4super](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5f4super)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/71 "2012-06-11T14:57:05Z")
> [@Farmer\_Jane](#): > > Yeah, I don’t think you’ll last here that long. Glory hallelujah, thank you jayzoos praise the lard, I’m still here. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/72 "2012-06-11T16:07:09Z")
> [@5f4super](#): > > Glory hallelujah, thank you jayzoos praise the lard, I’m still here. She didn’t say you wouldn’t be here _today_, just not long. :rolleyes: And to contribute something to this thread, I agree with **Capt Kirk**. My mom was a single mom for 10 years after her divorce from my dad. I’m very grateful someone was willing to date (and eventually marry) her. All of us – her, my brother and I – had a hard time of it (we drank powdered milk at one time there), but she did a great job, and I think I turned out sorta OK, though some may disagree. 😉 And my stepdad is great. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/73 "2012-06-11T16:15:44Z")
The kids wouldn’t be the deal-breaker. I’m glad my mom decided to date my dad (divorced and with 2 kids by 28) because if she hadn’t, I wouldn’t be alive. 😉 I do think it takes lots of maturity and responsability. My mom was adamant that my dad had to keep all his paternal duties (child-support, visits, school activities, PTA meetings, etc.), IOW, be a dad first and foremost. If dad had the kids (my siblings) on the weekends, my mom would take all of them to her sister’s and play with her nephews (my cousins). It helps/helped that my mom loves children and has a lot more patience to them than to most adults, and places a high value on family. Ditto for my sibs’ mom (whom I call auntie). So, based on my life, I wouldn’t be against it. OTOH, as someone above mentioned, the exes could be a problem, perhaps more than the kids. Mom lucked out in that aspect. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/74 "2012-06-11T16:54:18Z")
> [@5f4super](#): > > Just remember - single parents have already screwed up once in their lives. Tell that to the single parents whose partners didn’t come home from Afghanistan or Iraq. Tell that to those whose partners died in childbirth. Tell that to those whose partners died in accidents. Tell that to … well, you get the idea. ---
**Author:** ![5f4super](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/b5ac83/32.png) [@5f4super](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5f4super)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/75 "2012-06-11T19:33:22Z")
> [@zaipiaz](#): > > As a single mother, I would not date a man who does not have children of his own, specifically because of attitudes like those of the childless men in this thread. > > Also, I have to correct the “hot dog in a hallway” guy. Kegels, dude. Kegels. I could rock your world without moving my hips. No, you couldn’t. I don’t do breeders. ---
**Author:** ![5f4super](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/b5ac83/32.png) [@5f4super](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5f4super)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/76 "2012-06-11T19:34:26Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Tell that to the single parents whose partners didn’t come home from Afghanistan or Iraq. Tell that to those whose partners died in childbirth. Tell that to those whose partners died in accidents. Tell that to … well, you get the idea. You don’t get it - the screwup was having the kid in the first place. I mean really, how smart is it to have a kid when your spouse/partner is heading out to a WAR ZONE? Definitely on my “way to go, shithead” hit parade. ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/77 "2012-06-11T20:28:32Z")
Doesnt Heidi Klum have 3 kids? ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/78 "2012-06-11T20:31:40Z")
> [@zaipiaz](#): > > As a single mother, I would not date a man who does not have children of his own, specifically because of attitudes like those of the childless men in this thread. > > Also, I have to correct the “hot dog in a hallway” guy. Kegels, dude. Kegels. I could rock your world without moving my hips. He doesnt do breeders. I do ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/79 "2012-06-11T20:43:38Z")
> [@5f4super](#): > > I don’t do breeders. I have never been so happy to have reproduced, even though it was an accident. As for the OP…OK, assuming that my husband died or we got divorced, I probably wouldn’t date a man with minor children. I’m gonna be 55 in 3 months, and I don’t want to be raising someone else’s kids. Or grandkids. If a guy I was interested in had adult kids, that wouldn’t be a dealbreaker. If he had minor children, or someone else’s minor kids that he was raising, I would probably try to find someone else. If he only had the kids every other weekend or so, I’d make it clear that I’d be polite to the kids, but that on most of those weekends, I’d be involved in something else. I’d probably phrase it like “I want you and your kids to have a lot of time together without distractions”, to make it more palatable. A guy in my dating age group, though, should be pretty much finished with raising kids. There are lots of women who enjoy being around kids, any kids. I’m not one of them. ---
**Author:** ![5f4super](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/b5ac83/32.png) [@5f4super](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5f4super)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306/80 "2012-06-11T21:07:22Z")
> [@dngnb8](#): > > Doesnt Heidi Klum have 3 kids? Ewwwwwwww…nasty. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-person-with-3-kids/616306.md?page=5)