# Would you date a telepath? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 21, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430 "2012-10-21T16:59:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/1 "2012-10-21T16:59:08Z")
Yes, it’s a Skaldthetical with an absurd fantasy premise. If you don’t like these, I’m sure you can find an NFL thread open somewheres. To expand on the thread question: would you continue dating a person who, after you two had become intimate, not merely claimed to be a telepath, but proved that to your satisfaction? Why or why not? You may answer simply in terms of the above paragraph or, if you simply must have details, click the spoiler box below for specifics. [spoiler]Here’s the sitch. You have a new companion, “Sean,”\* with whom everything clicks, sexually & otherwise. But when things start getting really serious, Sean tells you there’s something you need to know: she’s a telepath. Naturally you’re dubious at first, but in short order she convinces you of her veracity.\*\* Sean is always vaguely aware of the emotions of people in the same room, but she can tune down that empathic awareness the way a norm ignores ambient noise. Reading a person’s surface thoughts or having a telepathic conversation is no harder than ordinary speech; her range for doing either is about a mile with norms, a hundred times that with another telepath. Sustained focus is required to probe someone’s memory or subconscious; absolute concentration is necessary to do mind-control tricks or brain-blasts. Sean doesn’t believe in using her powers like that, incidentally. Outside of training, she’s only done so twice. The first time, she disabled a trio of knife-wielding thugs so she and a friend could escape a mugging; she gave one an instant migraine, made the second go temporarily blind, and caused the third to forget what he was doing. The second time, that same friend, suffering terribly from PTSD, asked Sean to remove an extremely traumatic event from her memory; with more than a few misgivings, Sean complied. Sean and her immediate family are all telepaths. Psi powers manifest in adolescence; she went to a specialized, secretive high school to learn how to control hers. Nearly every psi in her generation was enrolled there, but the student body was still under a thousand. If she had to guess, she’d say there are fewer than a million telepaths in the world. In school, she learned that telepathy has genetic markers; the child of two telepaths almost always has powers, whereas the child of a telepath and a norm rarely does. Neither she nor any psi she’s ever heard of has precognitive, telekinetic, or medium powers; she doesn’t think anyone does, though of course such people could be hiding the way she and other telepaths are. Are you still willing to date Sean? Marry Sean? Have kids? Why or why not? - I’m going to use feminine pronouns because I’m a straight man, but if you’re a gay man or straight woman, just flip the gender. \*\* I have a quick & dirty way Sean can prove that, but I’m not posting it unless y’all insist.[/spoiler] ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/2 "2012-10-21T18:16:30Z")
Ask her. ---
**Author:** ![conurepete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e57/32.png) [@conurepete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/conurepete)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/3 "2012-10-21T18:49:59Z")
Sure. My every thought pretty much can be seen on my face, and this person has already seen my inner thoughts doing the equivalent of hanging around the the house in pyjamas . I am not big on inner secrets and find communicating to be challenging anyway, maybe telepathy would help. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/4 "2012-10-21T18:52:29Z")
> [@conurepete](#): > > **I am not big on inner secrets** and find communicating to be challenging anyway, maybe telepathy would help. (bolding mine) Do you mean “I am not big on _myself_ having inner secrets” or “I am not big on _anyone_ having inner secrets”? ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/5 "2012-10-21T19:02:02Z")
Yes. I have very few instances where I _REALLY_ wouldn’t want people to know what’s on my mind anyway. I think it could work out pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/6 "2012-10-21T19:24:58Z")
I’ve lost count of the times when women have said to me “Still waters run deep”. I’d hate it if they knew my reaction was, “yup, you sure? what about puddles?” ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/7 "2012-10-21T19:47:41Z")
Maybe I’m mistaken, but I always took “telepath” to mean someone who is able only to read and project thoughts. If that were the extent of Sean’s abilities, then I think that I probably would give the relationship a shot. She has clearly decided that I am a desirable choice even after having been exposed to my unfiltered, uncensored thoughts for however long we had been together. But you have in mind someone who is also capable of mind control, and I don’t think that’s going to work for me. Sean can swear up and down that she really, totally doesn’t ever, ever, ever use it unless it’s for a COMPLETELY good reason, but I just don’t have a lot of faith in anyone to resist the temptation to put the whammy on me. Hell, I would begin wondering how often she had already done it to me to that point … starting with that time I actually agreed to go to that Faith Hill concert with her. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/8 "2012-10-21T20:05:48Z")
I am currently married to but separated from a woman who claims to be psychic. It’s a problem. However, she was unable to provide any validation for her claim, nor did she accurately predict that we would separate. She may well be psychic but with a very limited focus. She is, in a lot of other ways, supremely messed-up if not outright nuts. In the future, were I to find myself in a relationship with somebody who claimed to be a telepath, I would leave so fast I’d leave skid marks. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2012, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/9 "2012-10-21T22:40:43Z")
Like many possibly-scary-but-mostly-benign attributes of those I’ve dated, I wouldn’t have a problem with it until it was a problem. And I’d deal with it then. Since I think outloud 90 percent of the time anyway, it might be nice to be around someone who understood that most of the time I’m just throwing spitballs. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/10 "2012-10-22T00:24:35Z")
I’d consider it a great compliment that a telepath would want to be with me! I wouldn’t mind. If we’re already intimate, that means I’m into him and he’s into me and that’s not so common an occurrence that I can be tossing it away for pesky little quirks. Maybe we could avoid some of those annoying “You can’t expect me to read your mind!” conversations. ---
**Author:** ![prettydorky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@prettydorky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/prettydorky)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/11 "2012-10-22T00:49:26Z")
I would be astonished and thrilled when first hearing about it. I’d want to know all the details and would think it awesome and fascinating. Then later I think I would have serious hesitation and doubts. I’d eventually come around. Sadly, after he “read” all my hesitation and thought processes, he’d probably not be so interested. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/12 "2012-10-22T01:11:47Z")
Yeah…I’m having trouble imagining anyone hearing my thoughts wanting to stay in the same city as me, much less the same bedroom. And that includes me. But in the interest of not fighting the Skaldithetical…yes. It would actually be something of a monumental relief to finally, truly, deep down believe that someone actually understands who/what I am, warts and all, and still finds me worthy of love. (My current SO has me \*almost \*convinced he groks me and loves me anyhow, but I still fool myself that I successfully hide the ickiest ick from him.) Mind-boggling, but awesome. ---
**Author:** ![JackieLikesVariety](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackielikesvariety/32/296_2.png) [@JackieLikesVariety](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JackieLikesVariety)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/13 "2012-10-22T01:42:01Z")
if you’ve ever read the Sookie Stackhouse novels, a big part of it is that she is psychic and it has messed up her ability to have a relationship until she meets a vampire and she can’t “hear” him. she finds it relaxing and, ultimately, a big turn on. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/14 "2012-10-22T01:56:36Z")
I don’t _think_ so. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/15 "2012-10-22T03:32:22Z")
Sure. Why not? I’ve got nothing to hide, other than the usual sewage that is in nearly everyone’s head. In fact, it would be great: no suspicion! She’d know that I wasn’t cheating on her! (Shopping for surprise presents would be tough, admittedly.) ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/16 "2012-10-22T04:35:07Z")
In the past I’ve dated psychopaths and sociopaths . . . but I’d never date a telepath. Nor Sylvia Plath. ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@Mister\_Owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Owl)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/17 "2012-10-22T04:45:08Z")
I once had a girl friend that could see the future. ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/18 "2012-10-22T04:47:55Z")
If they look like this… [https://www.google.com/search?q=Marina+sirtis&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=YWq&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1366&bih=641&prmd=imvnso&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=gc-EUKe2D5GC8QSH-4HABQ&ved=0CAcQ\_AUoAQ](https://www.google.com/search?q=Marina+sirtis&hl=en&client=firefox-a&hs=YWq&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&biw=1366&bih=641&prmd=imvnso&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=gc-EUKe2D5GC8QSH-4HABQ&ved=0CAcQ_AUoAQ) …I might partake. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/19 "2012-10-22T05:18:29Z")
I’m with **Jamicat**! 😃 If the question is, would I date or marry someone who can read my every thought?, then my inclination is to answer No. It might be interesting to try for a while, but I do enjoy my private thoughts and the ability to phrase things appropriately instead of the raw thought which may not be in the most PC language. ---
**Author:** ![Mnemnosyne](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mnemnosyne/32/3347_2.png) [@Mnemnosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnemnosyne)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2012, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430/20 "2012-10-22T05:40:28Z")
By the hypothetical, she wouldn’t be reading thoughts all the time, she’d just be getting a vague sense of my emotions unless she puts effort into it. She can read my thoughts, etc, with concentration, but not normally. And if she’s not lying in that she doesn’t do it casually, then she hasn’t read my thoughts at the point she’s asking the question. Assuming she was telling the truth, she wouldn’t have read my mind yet at that point. I don’t think it would bother me if she did, anyway. The part that would definitely concern me is the idea that she can go into my head and _alter_ my memories permanently. See, if it was just mind control that required constant concentration, I wouldn’t be worried about it. She could mind control me, but she can’t keep it up forever because her concentration has to break sometime. But if she can alter my memories so I forget things I’ve done and said, that kind of worries me. Of course, the question would be whether it worries me more having someone like that around than not. Simply being aware of their existence is cause for concern, and if I have no way to protect myself anyway, I don’t really see why I’d be _more_ worried about dating/marrying a telepath than simply being afraid there might be one somewhere around. So, yeah, I would. At first, I might take a few precautions; ask some internet friends to make sure I continue to behave normally. Make sure I’m particularly open about anything that concerns me with those friends, so that if I mysteriously forget something, they can explain it to me. Perhaps record a video of myself explaining the telepath abilities of my girlfriend, and distribute it among internet friends so they can show it to me should I ever ‘forget’ she’s a telepath. Perhaps other as safety measures I have yet to think of. But, assuming she wasn’t lying, over time my safety measures would probably die down as I gained increased trust of her. Essentially, I believe I could trust someone with such powers, but I’d first feel the need confirm that they’re not using them on me over an extended period of time. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-a-telepath/638430.md?page=2)