# Would you date/boink/marry someone who aged 5 times faster than you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 16, 2012, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184 "2012-11-16T13:44:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/1 "2012-11-16T13:44:23Z")
Yes, it’s a silly hypothetical with optional poll (optional in the sense that I won’t decide until the very last second whether to include a poll but nevertheless won’t be changing this paragraph either way). Here’s the sitch: A generation ago, the extraterrestrials from [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=665890&highlight=spaceport) established their spaceport on Earth. Everything went swmmingly. Thus, in the last quarter century or so, humanity has made the acquaintance of a dozen or more alien species. For purposes of this discussion we are interested in only one: the people whose name transliterates as **Meiflai**. Externally, the Meiflei are almost identical to human, though they’re still easy to distinguish given that their skin tones range from azure to indigo. Behaviorally they are also quite similar to us. They fall in love, they marry, they divorce; they feel bliss, rage, and grief. They’re straight, bi, and gay in the same proportion as we are; likewise there are prudent sages, average schmucks, and utter fuckups in similar numbers as human. But the most important thing about the Meiflai is the brevity of their lives. A Meiflai woman’s pregnancy lasts about 60 Earth days; a child reaches puberty in 3 of our years, and full adulthood in another 3. A 15-year-old Meiflai is equivalent to a human in the mid-seventies, and the longest lifespan on record in 24. In their eyes this is no sort of handicap–just natural. The Meiflai learn even more quickly than they mature. A Meiflai baby is walking inside of a week, potty-trained in a month, and talking in complete sentences in a year. Eidetic memory is the norm. The average adult, if motivated, can master a completely unfamiliar language in six weeks; they’re similarly gifted in other fields. One thing they lack is artistry. Before meeting offworlders, no Meiflai had the concept of music, literature, or drama; and while they enjoy the arts of other species (they’re the galaxies’ biggest fanboys), no full-blooded Meiflai has ever shown any ability in that area. Meiflai-Terran sex is not unheard of. Under normal circumstances it leads only to smiles and cigarettes, but cross-breeding is possible with a little chromosonal tinkering, a feat easily within their technical skill. Meiflai-Terran hybrids typically live 10 to 20 percent longer than their blue parent while retaining the intellectual gifts. Most are themselves infertile without technological intervention (again, no great feat for the Meiflai). Assume that you’re single and meet a hot Meiflai of the correct sex, orientation, and physiological age for you, would you be willing to date? Fuck? Marry? Have kids? What makes you choose one way or the other? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/2 "2012-11-16T13:54:41Z")
Assuming legal age regulations don’t interfere, then sure, date, fuck, maybe even marry. Kids that will die young in my eyes might be tough to handle. Since I’m old even the marriage part doesn’t bother me, but I’d have to think more carefully about marrying someone I know wouldn’t live much longer. But I could possibly live another 15 years so having kids that would die in that time span is a no go for me. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/3 "2012-11-16T14:06:38Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Assuming legal age regulations don’t interfere Stop being smarter than me or the halfling dies. I would have specified in the OP if it had occurred to me, but yes, I think we have to assume that during our world’s association with the Meiflai (which is about four generations from their point of view), matters of legal consent and such have been sussed out and it’s been decided that physiological/mental rather than chronological age should be the determining factor. I’m sure Eliot Stabler would still have a problem with it, though. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/4 "2012-11-16T14:12:22Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Stop being smarter than me or the halfling dies. Go ahead. I never liked that halfling anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/5 "2012-11-16T14:18:41Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Kids that will die young in my eyes might be tough to handle. Since I’m old even the marriage part doesn’t bother me, but I’d have to think more carefully about marrying someone I know wouldn’t live much longer. But I could possibly live another 15 years so having kids that would die in that time span is a no go for me. Something to think about: we take a chance of outliving family members whenever we marry or procreate. A spouse may die of illness or injury just a few years after the wedding, leaving you to live a long, healthy and potentially very lonely life. Likewise with children. Those things really do happen to people. That was a major plot point for the movie Highlander, where the immortal protagonist outlived his ordinary mortal wife after a decades-long marriage; by the end of the movie he had been missing her company for _hundreds_ of years. About ten years ago a friend and his then-girlfriend were discussing the possibility of marriage. She was quite enthusiastic about it, and then he pointed out that people in her family tended to live to a ripe old age (80’s or 90’s), while people in his family tended to die somewhat younger (60’s, 70’s), the implication being that he was likely to die many years before she would. That thought had never occurred to her before, and it really gave her pause (although they did eventually get married). So the OP’s premise is something everybody has to consider IRL: are you willing to date/boink/marry someone whom you may outlive by many years, possibly even many decades? ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/6 "2012-11-16T14:34:23Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Something to think about: we take a chance of outliving family members whenever we marry or procreate. A spouse may die of illness or injury just a few years after the wedding, leaving you to live a long, healthy and potentially very lonely life. Likewise with children. Those things really do happen to people. It’s always a possibility, but the odds are against it. In this case it’s a near certainty that you’ll outlive the person you love. And worse the children. And this is how I see it for me. I’m not advising others on how they should react. Interestingly, I now look at this with the eye of life experiences. When I was younger I don’t think I would have cared as much, even though the difference in remaining lifespans would be greater. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/7 "2012-11-16T14:46:25Z")
I did not feel like reading through all the choices so I just went for the brownie. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/8 "2012-11-16T15:20:15Z")
**Somebody** has been watching old _Voyager_ reruns. Were I not a happily married man, I would take one in a manly manner. A boink is a boink. But no offspring, and likely no “long term” relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/9 "2012-11-16T15:21:29Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Something to think about: we take a chance of outliving family members whenever we marry or procreate. A spouse may die of illness or injury just a few years after the wedding, leaving you to live a long, healthy and potentially very lonely life. Likewise with children. Those things really do happen to people. There’s other issues. Say you’re a 25-year-old human marrying a 6-year-old Meiflai. Physiologically you’re about the same age. But in five years, you’ll still be in your youth, while your spouse will seem to be pushing 50. Five more years and you’re married to a senior citizen; you’re still in your prime (or just past it), while your spouse is rapidly decaying. Are you still going to want to have sex? Will you resent their not being able to keep up with the things you want to do? > [@](#): > > That was a major plot point for the movie Highlander, where the immortal protagonist outlived his ordinary mortal wife after a decades-long marriage; by the end of the movie he had been missing her company for _hundreds_ of years. > [@](#): > > So the OP’s premise is something everybody has to consider IRL: are you willing to date/boink/marry someone whom you may outlive by many years, possibly even many decades? It’s not that you _may_ outlive the other person; it’s that, absent accident, homicide, or suicide, you **certain** to age far more slowly. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/10 "2012-11-16T15:30:19Z")
Dating would be fine, so long as it was fairly casual. I see no wisdom in falling in love with someone whom you _know_ you’ll probably have to watch die. Pass, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/11 "2012-11-16T15:35:59Z")
Fixed the thread title. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/12 "2012-11-16T15:39:22Z")
Am I allowed to marry a Meiflai in all 50 states? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/13 "2012-11-16T15:40:34Z")
It’s like the elf dilemna, for us. One of the biggest reasons elves don’t marry humans is because they have to watch us wither away and die. I would try very hard to avoid it and not fall in love with one of these short-lived people. I don’t want kids anyway, so that’s moot. But sleep with them or date them? Sure. Part of love, I am finding as the years go by, is the interesting and novel experience of growing old(er) together. I am comforted that he is going through very similar things to me, that as we grow older we grow more together instead of apart, that I can talk to him about fears of mortality and he can talk to me about fears of his body betraying him. That we _understand_, that we’re walking the same path. This is a lesson purely learned of experience, btw. I always heard the phrase “grow old with you” but to really internalize it I think you have to live it. I think I would be sorely sad if I couldn’t share that with someone, if they were so far ahead of me. ETA: Oh! I see Jude Law is mentioned in the straight female responses. I’m _quite_ sure that is for me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/14 "2012-11-16T15:47:37Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Am I allowed to marry a Meiflai in all 50 states? Yes; I addressed that in post 3 or so after TriPolar pointed out the lack in the OP. In other news, I have relieved the halfling of the burden of his sad and miserable life. Thanks for reminding me. > [@Anaamika](#): > > But sleep with them or date them? Sure. It’s kind of off topic, but your phrasing inspires a question. In setting up the too-long-as-it-is poll, I thought about distinguishing between dating someone and having sex with them, but decided not to, judging that most people would say that a willingness to date implies an (eventual) willingness to have sex with them; that is, anyone who is dating is in part exploring the prospects for future sex. Was I wrong there? Anybody here willing to call a relationship “dating” if there’s no prospect ever for sex? [QUOTE=mika again] ETA: Oh! I see Jude Law is mentioned in the straight female responses. I’m quite sure that is for me. [/QUOTE] Of course I was thinking of you when I mentioned Jude Law instead of, um, what’s his name from Iron Man. That’s what “Anaamika” and “Rhymer” mean, babe. I’ll even FedEx you an entirely separate batch of brownies if you want. > [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Dating would be fine, so long as it was fairly casual. I see no wisdom in falling in love with someone whom you _know_ you’ll probably have to watch die. Pass, thanks. I’m not in charge of you or your feelings, of course, but dating someone you positively want not to fall in love with seems fraught with difficulty. I’ve been in love four times, I’d say, and in no case would I say I intended it; in fact in one case I was trying hard not to. Even with my wife, though I wasn’t trying not to fall in love, I didn’t set out to do so; it just happened when I wasn’t looking. I blame Inanna. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/15 "2012-11-16T16:04:06Z")
Robert Downey, Jr. i don’t like fudge brownies ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/16 "2012-11-16T16:05:34Z")
Short term sex yes; the aging difference doesn’t matter then. But not a long term relationship. > [@silenus](#): > > **Somebody** has been watching old _Voyager_ reruns. Ha; this thread had me thinking of the short story _Petals of Rose_, which involves humans on a planet inhabited by a species that only lives for 24 hours. Kes from _Voyager_ is a closer match. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/17 "2012-11-16T17:56:45Z")
The only thing I would likely consider is boinking one. I might have a kid with one, but only if I could be assured the child would be likely to outlive me. So I’d have to be like… 50. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/18 "2012-11-16T18:01:46Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > The only thing I would likely consider is boinking one. I might have a kid with one, but only if I could be assured the child would be likely to outlive me. So I’d have to be like… 50. On the _other_ hand … with this child, you’ll be done with diapers in much less than a year, the terrible twos will last a few weeks, and so forth. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/19 "2012-11-16T18:50:18Z")
Bang, yes, but nothing else. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184/20 "2012-11-16T19:45:52Z")
I’d give it a try, sure. But the problem I foresee is not one of longevity, or of aging (I really don’t care, my attraction is generally more intellectual so, VaVOOM!) but the idea of being basically a dolt in the eyes of my spouse and offspring? Hmmmnnnn. Great for me - I have this incredibly quick, very wise and quickly adapting mate. But imagine the horror for them - wasting precious minutes of their short lives waiting for me to catch on or catch up? Yikes! Like I said, I’d try it - and I’d be honored to be part of creating a child who could move the generations toward higher intelligence + longer lifespan, Wow! Maybe being the dumpkopf for once would be relaxing and refreshing, I don’t know. But I think I would probably lose self-esteem in the long run and just get depressed. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-boink-marry-someone-who-aged-5-times-faster-than-you/641184.md?page=2)