# Would you date me? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 14, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161 "2005-06-14T00:03:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/1 "2005-06-14T00:03:18Z")
Not asking literally. Although I am single, I’m not looking to hook up with anyone here or anything like that. However, I’m curious to know, based on my beliefs, likes, looks, and various other stuff, whether you and I would mesh together well. My sexual preference is more interested in females, however I am open minded. But don’t let that stop you though, I’m interested in your opinion even if you have guy parts, because I consider this to be something lighthearted and fun. So regardless of your sex, feel free to give me your thoughts. I’m male. 25. Brown hair, not long, but spiky rather, blue eyes. I’m 6 foot 4, and weigh around 210. I enjoy hiking, movies, and anything that has to do with reading. If it’s a book, I’ll read it. I love reading and do it most of my days, all day. Mostly horror, mystery, suspense and thriller. I’m a cat person, although I like dogs too and get along well with them just fine. But yeah, my preference would sway more towards cats. I have two cats, and they have been my company for the past year. I don’t smoke. I believe in God, and consider myself Christian, however I’m not one of those hardcore fundementalists who is always in your face about it. I’m not religious at all in my daily life. I don’t go to chruch or pray or read the bible. I just believe. I don’t drink. That’s not saying I wouldn’t. I would drink socially and when partying or having any special times. But I don’t like to drink alone. If I was out with friends or somewhere having a celebration or just a Saturday night out, I would. I don’t work. This isn’t to say I don’t have income. I’m on disability for Bi Polar Disorder, and yes, I know everyone knows someone who has it and can work just fine, but I can’t. I’ve tried and the stressful related enviorment that work brings on is too much. I’m able, with my income, to support myself just fine and even more than that. I could probably support up to 3 or 4 people, actually if I had to. I have a fear of cockroaches (major) and spiders. I know that in a couple of lines you still don’t know me or have any inkling as to what I’m like. People are like onions, they have so many layers that even if I made this 10 pages long, it would still not be enough to fully ever know me unless you knew me in real life, of course. But based on what I’ve told you in those short paragraphs above… Would you ever date me? It’s okay if you say no. You won’t hurt my feelings. 😛 Ha. I realize that if you’re a smoker, or atheist, or are allergic to cats, it would probably be a hinderance. So feel free to say you wouldn’t… But why or why not? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/2 "2005-06-14T00:09:14Z")
I’m no smoker. I am atheist, and I am severely allergic to cats. The Christianity wouldn’t bother me so much, I’d be more worried about how you were going to apply it to our lives. Would you want kids? I don’t want any. Family’s good, but they should stay out of our business and your mother should realize you’re grown up. First date? I don’t see why not. To continue though, the cats would be a problem…I even am allergic to the stupid little furballs’ scratches. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/3 "2005-06-14T00:11:54Z")
No. I wouldn’t date you. I was in a three year relationship with a bi-polar man (only the depression was diagnosed or treated but it was pretty obvious) along with a few other mental illnesses and to say it ended badly would be an understatement. You’re undoubtedly a lovely person but I wouldn’t put myself again in that position. I’d sleep with you though. If that’s any consolation. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/4 "2005-06-14T00:13:40Z")
If I were single, and in your age range, I’d probably date you. You’re quite tall, though, so we wouldn’t be comfortable dancing. I would be staring at your belt buckle. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/5 "2005-06-14T00:14:17Z")
I would date you (my sex=F, by the way), at least once or twice. I don’t mind if you believe in God, so long as you don’t try to convert me (it may even make for some pretty stimulating conversation, who knows). I’m a cat person, so I’d adore coming to see your kitties 😉 For anything longer-term, however, it’s possible your bipolar disorder would put me off and discourage any continuance. I’ve had some bad experiences with other bipolar sufferers (both in family and romantic relationships), so that would possibly colour my feelings about you, should the topic ever arise. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/6 "2005-06-14T00:20:08Z")
If I were gay or female… You are tall. You believe in God. (That presents a challenge. Can I convinve you, without upsetting you, that there is no such thing as ‘God’) You fear spiders. Spiders are small and fear of small things is both common and sensible. Small things can be just as lethal, if not more lethal than large things. You might survive an elephant attack, but you also might have less chance of surviving a bite from a diseased spider. I am the most cat person there is. I exist to stroke the heads of domesticated cats. If It meant having a cat in my lap I would gladly destroy worlds. For me, drinking is like bedtime snacking. I drink more or less every night. However a drinker has no real reason to be incompatible with a non-drinker. ---
**Author:** ![Red\_Stilettos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/fbc32d/32.png) [@Red\_Stilettos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Stilettos)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/7 "2005-06-14T00:23:21Z")
I know this is going to make me seem shallow, but it’s the honest truth: you had me right up to the living on disability\*. You are too young to consign yourself to living on disability. You don’t say that you are making any efforts to work, so I will assume that you have accepted this situation as permanent (feel free to correct me if I am wrong). There are lots of ways to make money other than in a high stress office environment. If you are unwilling to find something compatible with your needs, I couldn’t date you. For me, social assistance is an absolute last resort and I would never stop trying to get off of it. The comment about being able to support 3 or 4 people is particularly disturbing to me. Other than that, I think we would be pretty compatible. \*I understand that many people have to live on disability and I am not looking to debate the values of the disability payroll. I am only giving my opinion of the OP’s situation as he describes it. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/8 "2005-06-14T00:37:16Z")
**Anaamika** : > [@](#): > > Would you want kids? I don’t want any. I’ve always hoped to have kids someday. Maybe not anytime soon, but sometime, so I guess that nixes it for any chance we’d stay together. 😉 > [@](#): > > Family’s good, but they should stay out of our business and your mother should realize you’re grown up. Oh man, I cannot say how much I agree with you here though. Sounds like either you’ve had experience in this area or have dated or been in a relationship before with someone who has. I keep in contact with my mother every other week to see how she’s doing and I visit her once a month or so and she still seems to forget I’m not 12 anymore. **Otto** : > [@](#): > > You’re undoubtedly a lovely person but I wouldn’t put myself again in that position. It’s understandable. > [@](#): > > I’d sleep with you though. If that’s any consolation. Hahahah, I guess I should feel flattered then. **pinkfreud** : > [@](#): > > You’re quite tall, though, so we wouldn’t be comfortable dancing. I would be staring at your belt buckle. Wow, you’re that short? I find being tall, I’ve always been more attracted to shorter females. However, I wouldn’t feel comfortable dancing even if the balances were the same, I’ve yet to learn how. **Sierra Indigo** : > [@](#): > > I’ve had some bad experiences with other bipolar sufferers (both in family and romantic relationships), so that would possibly colour my feelings about you, should the topic ever arise. This is interesting as you’re the second person to say something of this nature. Most people who have known me most of my life and who know other people who have BP have said that they, personally, don’t think I have it. And a couple of people I’ve met in my life who I’ve told only after knowing them for awhile were always shocked to find out. So apparently it’s not obvious I suffer from it. **Lobsang** : > [@](#): > > ( … Can I convinve you, without upsetting you, that there is no such thing as ‘God’) That’s iffy. I’ve almost convinced myself a couple of times that logically, God can’t exist (at least if one believes in fate, which I do). But there’s always something stubborn that holds out and keeps believing. So it may be possible. Or maybe I’m just not as steadfast in my beliefs as I should be. \*\*You fear spiders. Spiders are small and fear of small things is both common and sensible. Small things can be just as lethal, if not more lethal than large things. You might survive an elephant attack, but you also might have less chance of surviving a bite from a diseased spider. [/quote] True. I included these fears more or less because if the person deciding if we’d date well or not is also afraid of these things, I don’t know if it’d work out too well. After all, who would kill these vermin if they ever came about when we were together and the only ones around? > [@](#): > > For me, drinking is like bedtime snacking. I drink more or less every night. However a drinker has no real reason to be incompatible with a non-drinker. I don’t see why not, although I probably wouldn’t drink along every night though with you. **Red Stilettos** [quote] I know this is going to make me seem shallow, **but it’s the honest truth** : \*\* Bolding mine. Thank you for not pulling any punches. And I don’t think it makes you shallow in thinking that. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/9 "2005-06-14T00:38:18Z")
Oh yes. I can’t code. Will that be a problem? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/10 "2005-06-14T00:54:13Z")
> [@Idle Thoughts](#): > > So feel free to say you wouldn’t… > > But why or why not? I wouldn’t. You’re the wrong gender. Too damn big. I hate cats. You’re a big sissy with the fear of bugs thing. And it’s annoying to read your posts with all these damn spaces. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/11 "2005-06-14T01:08:01Z")
No, I wouldn’t. I’d be happy being your friend, catching movies, telling cat stories, and hanging out. For me, though, a romantic relationship has to have the potential of a future, and a person whose illness prevents them from working cannot support himself, a spouse, or children (not saying that the man has to work while the woman stays home, but that both have to be _able_ to work.) If that were to change, I would absolutely consider it. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/12 "2005-06-14T01:10:21Z")
I was with you, **Idle Thoughts** , until the bug thing. Who would kill them? Not me, unless they were smallish. My only contribution when the big beasties appear is yelling. I’m a reader, a Christian (though something of a loose interpreter of the religion), a rare drinker, a non-smoker, and I am very fond of both cats and dogs, though I prefer cats. You’re tall, which is always a plus in my book. I’m a woman, by the way. ---
**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/13 "2005-06-14T01:24:28Z")
For the record, I am not on the market, really not even into window shopping, but for a lark and conversation, I’ll bite: > [@Idle Thoughts](#): > > My sexual preference is more interested in females. I’m male. 25. Brown hair, not long, but spiky rather, blue eyes. I’m 6 foot 4, and weigh around 210. I’m female, age 34, long brownish-red hair, dark brown eyes. I’m 5’2", and I never tell anyone how much I weigh. I do have pictures floating around on the 'net, though, and nobody’s called me hideous, yet. I think I’m probably too old for you, but you sound fairly attractive, so I can’t see a problem so far. :: hums a few bars of _Mrs. Robinson_ :: > [@](#): > > I enjoy hiking, movies, and anything that has to do with reading. If it’s a book, I’ll read it. I love reading and do it most of my days, all day. Mostly horror, mystery, suspense and thriller. I enjoy camping, renfaire stuff (SCA), movies, traveling, cooking, and reading. Like you, I LOVE a good book. > [@](#): > > I’m a cat person, although I like dogs too and get along well with them just fine. But yeah, my preference would sway more towards cats. I have two cats, and they have been my company for the past year. I’m not a cat hater, and I’m not allergic. I don’t, however, **love** cats. I don’t want them on my bed or kitchen counters and stuff > [@](#): > > I don’t smoke. Neither do I. > [@](#): > > I believe in God, and consider myself Christian, however I’m not one of those hardcore fundamentalists who is always in your face about it. I’m not religious at all in my daily life. I don’t go to church or pray or read the bible. I just believe. I’m not Christian. > [@](#): > > I don’t drink. That’s not saying I wouldn’t. I would drink socially and when partying or having any special times. But I don’t like to drink alone. If I was out with friends or somewhere having a celebration or just a Saturday night out, I would. I am a social drinker, mostly, but I do have the occasional glass of wine at home while I am cooking. > [@](#): > > I don’t work. This isn’t to say I don’t have income. I’m on disability for Bi Polar Disorder, and yes, I know everyone knows someone who has it and can work just fine, but I can’t. I’ve tried and the stressful related enviorment that work brings on is too much. I’m able, with my income, to support myself just fine and even more than that. I could probably support up to 3 or 4 people, actually if I had to. This concerns me, some. If you’re unable to handle the stresses of a work environment, how will you cope with the stresses of a long-term relationship? Not being snarky, I’m genuinely curious. > [@](#): > > I have a fear of cockroaches (major) and spiders. I despise roaches, I don’t mind spiders, but I am phobic of rodents. > [@](#): > > But based on what I’ve told you in those short paragraphs above… > Would you ever date me? I might date you, sure, but I doubt we’d form any deep attachment. > [@](#): > > why or why not? I think our differing opinions on religion and cats would doom us. Some people take their pets and their faith very seriously. I can’t take either of them seriously. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/14 "2005-06-14T01:51:26Z")
Well, no, first of all, because I’m 7 years younger than you and have a boyfriend. That aside: I’d probably go on a few dates with you (wearing high heels, of course, because you are so tall!). The bug thing would get interesting, as I actually like spiders around (they eat mosquitoes), and cockroaches disgust me- I can’t go near them and the very thought of squishing one makes me feel all oogy. The no job thing is kinda weird- what do you do with your free time? I mean, if you do something interesting, that’s one thing, but if you’re just sitting around, that’s quite another. Also, if you can’t deal with a work environment, are you capable of dealing with a relationship, and the stress that entails? ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/15 "2005-06-14T02:18:21Z")
No, and it would be because of the no working thing. I would resent the fact that I slave away at a job I hate and make less than you (I currently make less than someone on PA state disability, plus I don’t have medical coverage like you do through Medicare) while having to deal with my own mental health issues. I see way too many people with mental health or “chronic” (fibromyalgia, CFS, etc) health conditions who treat SSI like a lifestyle and frankly they enrage the shit out of me. I know that nobody can truly know what someone else’s functionality level is but it seems like yours is pretty high, especially if you can function long enough to read a book and take care of cats. When I was at the absolute nadir of my “problems” I couldn’t do even that. Other than that, I think we could be friends, as long as you didn’t lord your non-working status over me. Actually, it would probably start to bug me even then, so even that would probably be off. Sorry dude, but I just can’t respect those people who choose to make being crazy their one and only line of work. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/16 "2005-06-14T02:34:35Z")
I’d be tempted, but in the end I’d probably talk myself out of being more than friends. I love the fact that you don’t smoke or drink (because I don’t either), and can deal with you being too-damn-tall (I’m only 5’3", you see) and afraid of spiders (I’m afraid of wind. Don’t you feel less silly now?) because my brother and grandfather proved to me that even manly men can be freaked by them. The cat thing is okay, even if I prefer dogs, and you have good taste in books. The religion thing is okay as long as you don’t try to make me go to a church, and hiking is okay once in a while but bad on my knee (though only in my late 20s, I’ve have arthritis in my knee since I was in my early teens) But the mental illness thing is the deal breaker. I’ve been on the rollercoaster that is living with someone whose mental illness is difficult to treat all my life, and it’s not something I’d want **more** of. If you found a medication that works for you so you were stable enough to work, I’d reconsider. I know it’s possible to control bipolar disorder in some people, since the _other_ parent has it and functions very well, so I hope you find something that works for you too. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/17 "2005-06-14T02:56:37Z")
I’d have to pass…[ul][li]I’m 33 and have always preferred to date men my age or older, so 25 is too young for me … but then, I’m lusting after the 20-year-old intern at work, so that _might_ not be a deal-breaker.[/li][li]I’m 5’3 (lots of short women are replying here!), but your height is no problem.[/li][li]I’m a reader, too, but the “I love reading and do it most of my days, all day” bit is a red flag to me: books are awesome, but are no substitute for real life. Even if you can’t work, there are plenty of other ways to fill a day.[/li][li]I like cats (and dogs), too.[/li][li]I don’t smoke, either.[/li][li]I’m agnostic, but wouldn’t have a problem with your Christianity (though I see little point in believing all by yourself … hmm, maybe I _would_ have a problem with it).[/li][li]I also drink socially (more and more, lately) but not at home, so no problem there.[/li][li]Now we come to the biggie: If you can’t handle the stress of a job, any job, even while medicated, then you will not be able to handle many of the activities I enjoy doing. I can’t imagine being compatible with someone who can’t work (even if the reason were physical, to be quite frank).[/li][li]Hopefully we wouldn’t encounter too many roaches, but I think your fear of spiders would get on my nerves; I think a fear of spiders is kind of silly, and I don’t think I could date anyone with that fear (I’m not passing judgement, it’s just my personal opinion; there are plenty of people who do _not_ think that a fear of spiders is silly).[/li][li]The poor coding isn’t a problem, but the fact that you didn’t preview is :D[/li][li]I agree with **QuickSilver** : the unneccessary spaces in your posts are annoying ;)[/ul][/li]Just my $0.02. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mississippienne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d2c977/32.png) [@Mississippienne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mississippienne)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/18 "2005-06-14T02:58:43Z")
**Idle Thoughts** , you sound like a cutie and at 25, you’re within my age range. I’m not a smoker or a drinker either, so that works out perfectly. I’m a tall girl too (5’8) so you wouldn’t dwarf me. However! I’m an atheist, and though I’ve tried to date religious people before, it always ends badly. In my experience, there’s an absense of respect that eventually boils over. Never pleasant. ---
**Author:** ![Gundhilde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecc23a/32.png) [@Gundhilde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundhilde)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/19 "2005-06-14T03:16:21Z")
You had me up until the “cat person” thing! Also, your admittance of not working kind of gave me a visceral “no way!” reaction, but after about 30 seconds of thought, I realized that it would be more my family that would have a problem with it than me, so I’d only be wary of that out of reluctance to explain it to my family at some point. Basically, the only real issue for me would be your love of cats, shallow as that is! I could definitely get over it, but I have a serious dislike of cats that could cause future complications. I suppose it depends on whether you would want to own cats in the future, and how much you’d lose respect for me when you go to gleefully pet a friend’s cat, and I slowly back away from the whole scene with a discreet shudder. Everything else sounded good. I’m an atheist but I have no disrespect whatsoever for your brand of Christianity, and I’m a drinker, but mostly socially as well. I think your tallness and my shortness (barely 5’0") could work veeeery nicely together, though! Inexplicably, I have a thing for the freakishly gargantuan, and you’re close to approaching that level 😉 (female, a couple years younger than you, BTW) ---
**Author:** ![John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@John\_Carter\_of\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Carter_of_Mars)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2005, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161/20 "2005-06-14T04:05:08Z")
**[sup]Would you date me?**[/sup] > [@Idle Thoughts](#): > > I’m male. 25. Um, no, but if your mom is single… 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-me/308161.md?page=2)