# Would you date someone who lives with their parents? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 12, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878 "2015-05-12T18:52:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ArztWolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@ArztWolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArztWolf)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/1 "2015-05-12T18:52:26Z")
Would you date someone who still lives with their parents due to the man/woman having a disability? Not due to the person being a lazy leech. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/2 "2015-05-12T18:55:27Z")
No. Not because I really have a problem with it. Over the years, I really have changed my stance on this, and sometimes I realize people just need to do so. But, I have lived on my own since I was 21, and would never move back home. My independence is far too important to me. I think it would just require too much accommodation. Do we always go to my place? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/3 "2015-05-12T19:23:15Z")
I wouldn’t consider it a problem. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/4 "2015-05-12T19:23:17Z")
It would all rest on the reason they live with their parents. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/5 "2015-05-12T19:25:36Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > It would all rest on the reason they live with their parents. Well, the OP says: > [@ArztWolf](#): > > Would you date someone who still lives with their parents due to the man/woman having a disability? Not due to the person being a lazy leech. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/6 "2015-05-12T19:41:43Z")
Sure, as long as my wife doesn’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2015, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/7 "2015-05-12T19:47:40Z")
I can’t think of a scenario where I would be ok dating someone who didn’t have their own place. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/8 "2015-05-13T00:50:25Z")
I could put up with it although in my age range its more the parents living with one of their children. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/9 "2015-05-13T00:56:46Z")
What kind of disability? Dating a paraplegic is different than dating a schizophrenic is different from dating a deaf person. The “living with the parents” thing wouldn’t be a dealbreaker, but there are some disabilities that might be a really tough fit. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/10 "2015-05-13T03:59:30Z")
What **even sven** said is what I was getting at. ---
**Author:** ![ArztWolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@ArztWolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArztWolf)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/11 "2015-05-13T04:16:31Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > What kind of disability? Dating a paraplegic is different than dating a schizophrenic is different from dating a deaf person. The “living with the parents” thing wouldn’t be a dealbreaker, but there are some disabilities that might be a really tough fit. Any disability that didn’t affect the cognitive level. So, someone who can function but needs a little help (no vegetative state or severe Developmental Delay). ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/12 "2015-05-13T04:52:09Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > I could put up with it although in my age range its more the parents living with one of their children. This. If I weren’t already attached, I could be dating a guy in his 60s who, due to a disability, lives with his daughter and her family. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/13 "2015-05-13T05:04:04Z")
I think the disability is more relevant to whether or not someone will date them; living with the parents is secondary. When speaking in general terms, of course there are exceptions. ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/14 "2015-05-13T06:12:54Z")
> [@ArztWolf](#): > > Would you date someone who still lives with their parents due to the man/woman having a disability? Not due to the person being a lazy leech. I can’t think of a physical disability that would require you live with your parents. umbilical cord that could never be cut? A mental disability that might require this would probably put them out of my dating pool. If someone chooses to live with their parents based on some practical aspect I’d certainly weight the reasoning. A blind guy saying "It’s a lot easier to be in my parents house, I’m familiar with it and if I need a ride somewhere I don’t have to call a car service.’ If he said ‘I want to live with my parents the rest of my life because I’m afraid of anything else’ Good luck finding romance elsewhere buddy. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/15 "2015-05-13T07:01:15Z")
I’m guessing this is predicated by the niece ArztWolf has mentioned in [previous threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=744436). Sorry if you didn’t want that brought up, but it may give some context for the flavor of disability I assume ArztWolf is getting at. I’ll edit out any bits not related to the disability: > [@My niece and dating.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-and-dating/708101/1): > > She has been diagnosed (by professionals, not online quizzes) with Non Verbal Learning Disability, Dyscalculia (part of the NVLD), Ehlers Danlos Syndrome type 3, and Dysautonomia. […] Doctors think the NLVD is related to the brain damage she suffered as a newborn (botched forceps delivery). > > She cannot drive due to visual spatial issues, her speech is not always easy to understand (has gone to mulitple speech and other therapists) and she can be super clumsy (trips over the lines in a carpet kind of clumsy). > > She is super smart, but all the above has made getting her into college a very long and hard struggle. > [@Why is there math in everything?!](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-math-in-everything/708416/1): > > I just got done talking to my sister on the phone and they are having a heck of a time finding a job/career for my niece (diagnosed NLD, Dyscalculia,and EDS type 3). > The problems are: > > 1. She can’t to math above a second grade level. > 2. She has trouble following the flow of conversations at times. Plus some speech issues. > 3. The EDS makes it so her joints are craptastic, so she can’t do very much physical stuff (her job as a grocery store bagger causes her pain). (I hope this doesn’t count as poster stalking, I just remember these threads really well and they’re still in my User CP subscription thingy) Personally, I think this level of dependency would make it difficult for me to date someone. I can’t flat out say “no way”, but it would be extremely difficult. I already dated lived/with a girl for 3 years who never cleaned and “couldn’t do anything” until the very end. While the situation was different because there was no disability, it still felt like I was doing everything. I had to drive her everywhere. I had to bail her out. It felt like a personal failing every time something went wrong with her. It went wrong because I couldn’t be there to drive her/help her/whatever. Some of that resentment was my own fault, but there’s a certain level of responsibility I’d like my partner to be able to take for themselves, and if they can’t I think it could get exhausting after a while. Certainly it’s a different situation from a “loser” who lives with their parents (though in this day and age I don’t buy into that for someone in their early 20’s), but someone who can’t exist without someone around brings a whole nother set of difficulties. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/16 "2015-05-13T12:19:21Z")
Date him? Reader, I married him. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/17 "2015-05-13T12:39:37Z")
It would depend on the kind and the severity of the disability. I confess I am not the most patient person in the world and it’d be unfair to both of us to pretend I was. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/18 "2015-05-23T11:32:41Z")
> [@Cinnamon\_Imp](#): > > Date him? > > Reader, I married him. It’s be pretty hard to marry Reader. ---
**Author:** ![HeXen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@HeXen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeXen)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/19 "2015-05-23T12:27:20Z")
Absolutely not. I never even dated women that smoke but taking care of parents sounds like baggage to me. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/20 "2015-05-23T23:18:34Z")
Not sure if it is just a US cultural thing, but living with the parents is pretty normal elsewhere. Mrs Iggy was living with her entire extended family when we met. Two sets of aunts and uncles, grandpa, and assorted cousins in addition to Iggyette. A real houseful.