# Would you date someone who lives with their parents?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [May 12, 2015, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878 "2015-05-12T18:52:26Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 15

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**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\
**Post date:** [May 13, 2015, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-date-someone-who-lives-with-their-parents/719878/15 "2015-05-13T07:01:15Z")

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I’m guessing this is predicated by the niece ArztWolf has mentioned in [previous threads](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=744436).

Sorry if you didn’t want that brought up, but it may give some context for the flavor of disability I assume ArztWolf is getting at. I’ll edit out any bits not related to the disability:

> [@My niece and dating.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/my-niece-and-dating/708101/1):
>
> She has been diagnosed (by professionals, not online quizzes) with Non Verbal Learning Disability, Dyscalculia (part of the NVLD), Ehlers Danlos Syndrome type 3, and Dysautonomia. […] Doctors think the NLVD is related to the brain damage she suffered as a newborn (botched forceps delivery).
> 
> She cannot drive due to visual spatial issues, her speech is not always easy to understand (has gone to mulitple speech and other therapists) and she can be super clumsy (trips over the lines in a carpet kind of clumsy).
> 
> She is super smart, but all the above has made getting her into college a very long and hard struggle.

> [@Why is there math in everything?!](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-is-there-math-in-everything/708416/1):
>
> I just got done talking to my sister on the phone and they are having a heck of a time finding a job/career for my niece (diagnosed NLD, Dyscalculia,and EDS type 3).  
> The problems are:
> 
> 1. She can’t to math above a second grade level.
> 2. She has trouble following the flow of conversations at times. Plus some speech issues.
> 3. The EDS makes it so her joints are craptastic, so she can’t do very much physical stuff (her job as a grocery store bagger causes her pain).

(I hope this doesn’t count as poster stalking, I just remember these threads really well and they’re still in my User CP subscription thingy)

Personally, I think this level of dependency would make it difficult for me to date someone. I can’t flat out say “no way”, but it would be extremely difficult. I already dated lived/with a girl for 3 years who never cleaned and “couldn’t do anything” until the very end. While the situation was different because there was no disability, it still felt like I was doing everything. I had to drive her everywhere. I had to bail her out. It felt like a personal failing every time something went wrong with her. It went wrong because I couldn’t be there to drive her/help her/whatever.

Some of that resentment was my own fault, but there’s a certain level of responsibility I’d like my partner to be able to take for themselves, and if they can’t I think it could get exhausting after a while.

Certainly it’s a different situation from a “loser” who lives with their parents (though in this day and age I don’t buy into that for someone in their early 20’s), but someone who can’t exist without someone around brings a whole nother set of difficulties.

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