# Would you eat a chocolate Jesus? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 24, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802 "2003-04-24T06:11:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/21 "2003-04-24T11:36:54Z")
mmmm forbidden chocolate jesus… mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yummy!!! Max 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kitarak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kitarak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitarak)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/22 "2003-04-24T11:59:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by psychonaut \* > \*\*Christian sects, such as Roman Catholicism, which believe in the doctrine of transubstantiation, effectively hold that the eucharistic wafer consumed during communion _literally becomes_ the flesh of Jesus. For those theophagous adherents of these religions, it’s difficult to see how they could possibly be squeamish about munching on a chocolate Jesus. \*\* Hmm. If bread becomes the body of christ, wine becomes the blood, then does the chocolate… Never mind. Forget I said anything. As to the OP, I’d think it was rather tacky. Nonetheless, chocolate is chocolate. Wouldn’t want it to go to waste after all. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/23 "2003-04-24T12:18:39Z")
During the Bobbitt trial, people were selling white chocolate penises. So why not? I’m sure PETA would endorse the chocolate Jesus over the chocolate bunny. And I have seen chocolate crosses. ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/24 "2003-04-24T12:45:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney \* > \*\*But would you bite off the chocolate Jesus’s head first??? lol… \*\* Yes, yes I would. That is my preferred method of eating any people/animal shaped food items. Chocolate bunnies, animal crackers, gingerbread men, all of them, head first. It’s really to show a little mercy. I can’t have Jesus looking at me and saying “You just bit my arm off! What kind of heathen are you? Aggghhh! My leg! You just bit my leg!” I’d rather give them a quick death. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/25 "2003-04-24T13:08:32Z")
See, if you had a cherry-cordial-filled chocolate Jesus, with little holes in it so it bled . . . Mmmmmm . . . ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/26 "2003-04-24T13:12:39Z")
Well, since back in college I smoked weed out of the hollowed-out head of a marble statue of the Virgin Mary, I don’t think hell’s gettin’ any hotter. I’d eat it. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/27 "2003-04-24T13:14:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*How about a chocolate ass-covered-with-huge-boils? > > The boils would be made of caramel. \*\* Add a chewy nougat filling and you got yourself a Milky Way, so what the heck. Add nuts and it’s a Snickers. Oh, and the chocolate Jesus? Head first, baby! ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/28 "2003-04-24T13:28:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yojimbo \* > \*\*There’s a Buddha bar in Dublin…I pulled one night while in there.😉 \*\* Do they include that in their advertising?😉 ---
**Author:** ![gex\_gex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@gex\_gex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gex_gex)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/29 "2003-04-24T13:33:38Z")
I’d eat the Chocolate Jesus. I’d eat him crucified (that’s how I initially pictured it). I’d eat it on a train. I’d eat it in the rain. I’d eat it with a goat. I’d eat it in a boat. I’d eat it here or there. I’d eat it anywhere. In fact, I want one now. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/30 "2003-04-24T13:42:52Z")
I’m a big lover of chocolate, but I might have trouble eating ass-shaped candy. But Jesus? I’d definitely eat one of those. In fact, just to have that much more heretical fun, I’d probably get a magnifying glass and melt it first. That’ll show 'em. I’ll do or say almost anything if I think it’ll offend Christians. 🙂 A chocolate Jesus should definitely be on a little cross (Robin Williams did a stand-up bit about this and suggested the cross be cream-filled) with little raspberry stigmata and maybe a caramel crown of thorns. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/31 "2003-04-24T14:39:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Marley23 \* > \*\*I might have trouble eating ass-shaped candy. \*\* When I got married last year, I made the wedding cake. I covered it in chocolate starfish (had to order them in from the Isle of Mull). Oh how I giggled. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/32 "2003-04-24T14:46:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhino’sHoney \* > \*\*But would you bite off the chocoalte Jesus’s head first??? lol… \*\* Absolutely. You can’t have him looking at you while you eat the rest of him. That would bring out my Catholic guilt immediately. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/33 "2003-04-24T14:50:06Z")
I got your Chocolate Jesus, [right here!](http://www.jesusoftheweek.com/jesii/230/) ---
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/34 "2003-04-24T14:55:47Z")
Daniel Bowen has this to say on his blog here, [http://www.toxiccustard.com/diary/1997/03.html](http://www.toxiccustard.com/diary/1997/03.html) > [@](#): > > Of course, there’s another reason that it’s a special weekend - it’s Easter - the time of year when many people in the western world commemorate Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection by eating far too much chocolate. For my wife, I managed to find a brilliant chocolate Buddha. > … > For those of you who’ve asked where I got the Chocolate Buddha: > > Lizzy’s Chocolate Creations Pty Ltd > 172 Koornang Road, Carnegie > Vic 3163 > [Australia] > Phone +61 3 9568 0689 I’ll note that this was written over six years ago, so I’ve got no idea whether Lizzy’s still sells chocolate Buddhas (or even still exists). ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/35 "2003-04-24T15:25:05Z")
I would eat a chocolate anything! Its just chocolate! I once ate a chocolate penis, head first, of course, jsut like with the easter bunnie ones. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/36 "2003-04-24T15:27:39Z")
What would a chocolate Jesus do for a Klondike bar? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/37 "2003-04-24T15:30:13Z")
Yes, I would eat a chocolate Jesus. But it would have to be kosher for Pesach chocolate, at least until sundown tonight. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/38 "2003-04-24T15:34:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Is there a limit to the shape of chocolate one would eat? > \*\* Not for me, there isn’t. I love chocolate, and there isn’t any way they can make it look disgusting enough to stop me from eating it, if it’s _good_ chocolate. Chocolate bunnies are usually crap, though, IME, so I usually pass on those. I doubt a chocolate jesus would be any better. Who knows, though? It _could_ be a _divine_ experience! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TelcontarStorm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3ab097/32.png) [@TelcontarStorm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TelcontarStorm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/39 "2003-04-24T15:36:19Z")
I think it would be downright blasphemous to make a chocolate Jesus out of anything less than only the finest chocolate. I don’t think I could eat a cheep Jesus. I mean come on…what could be more appropriate then a chocolate Jesus by Dove? Nougat and nuts? Tolberone. I’d have to bite the head off first.(I don’t want it said I made Jesus cry) ---
**Author:** ![a\_daft\_girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5e925/32.png) [@a\_daft\_girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a_daft_girl)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/40 "2003-04-24T15:42:46Z")
Yeah why not. I shower with a crucifix on, so if i can shower with him, why can’t I eat candy with his image embossed on it? Easter is about Christ, not about freaking Bunnies, so I’d think this might make him kind of happy. (And consider where he told his disciples to taste of his flesh, and drink of his blood by eating the bread & wine… im sure if chocolate had been around then, it “may” have been a contender food for this ritual) I can only hope he wouldn’t be offended. If he is, I hope he tells me before I’m put in the pit without a chance to stop doing it. And I’d certainly fel more comfortable eating a “Jesus Chocolate Bar” than something labeled “Satan’s Double Krispy Bar” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802.md?page=3)