# Would you eat a chocolate Jesus? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 24, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802 "2003-04-24T06:11:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/61 "2003-04-24T22:16:21Z")
Gimme a break, gimme a break! Break me off a piece of that JE-SUS HEAD! sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/62 "2003-04-24T22:30:45Z")
Hollow or solid? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/63 "2003-04-24T23:35:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kid Czarcasm \* > \*\*I don’t care what shape it is, if it is chocolate, I will eat it. \*\* _sigh_ It figures that the first posting from my offspring would be about chocolate. He’d eat a full size chocolate elephant if you gave it to him.😃 ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/64 "2003-04-25T02:37:43Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Severian_ > \*\*“You got Jesus in my peanut butter!” > > “You got peanut butter on my Jesus!”\*\* > [@](#): > > **"There’s no wrong way, to eat a Jesus."** Bwahahaha! I needed that. 😃 And yes, I would have no qualms chowing down on a chocolate Jesus, provided the Jesus was dark or white chocolate, but that’s only because I’m not a big fan of milk chocolate. Mmm. Chocklit Jeezus. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/65 "2003-04-25T06:45:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > \*\*Is there a limit to the shape of chocolate one would eat? > > … a dismembered child? > > Yuck \*\* Well, if it was in the shape of a regular healthy child, it would be dismembered anyway by the time I’d finished, so no, I don’t think I’d have a problem with that shape. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/66 "2003-04-25T07:02:23Z")
> [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > > Now, chocolate Jesus s’mores… that would be just wrong… > > _Originally posted by jr8_ > Not if you used Billy Graham crackers… My turn for the coffee-on-monitor decoration… i love it! ---
**Author:** ![Skarlett244](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@Skarlett244](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skarlett244)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/67 "2003-04-25T07:29:21Z")
Every Easter we would have a chocolate cake shaped like a lamb and were instructed that it represented the body of Christ, which bothered me at one point, but more because of the mixed imagery than the other implications. ---
**Author:** ![jmpride62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmpride62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmpride62)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/68 "2003-04-25T11:20:48Z")
New Cocoa Christ Crispies Stay Crunchy in Milk for Three Days Then Rise Right Out of the Bowl!!! ---
**Author:** ![Tabithina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f04885/32.png) [@Tabithina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tabithina)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/69 "2003-04-25T13:28:41Z")
_“I don’t care if it rains or freezes as long as I have my chocolate Jesus…”_ Yes. YES. I’d eat a chocolate Jesus. No problem. Heck, I’d even consider eating him and a piece of devil’s food cake in the same sitting. –Kris, [sub]who needs to go on a diet.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/70 "2003-04-25T13:44:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Czarcasm \* > _sigh_ > It figures that the first posting from my offspring would be about chocolate. He’d eat a full size chocolate elephant if you gave it to him.😃 Hey, welcome to **Kid Czarcasm**! 🙂 I’d definitely go for it if it were a Buddy Christ figure, that’d be too cool not to eat. I’m not a huge chocolate fan otherwise, so a more plain depiction wouldn’t be as interesting to me. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/71 "2003-04-26T12:08:05Z")
Last year I carved “The Agony of Christ” on the smooth back of a Hershey bar for Easter, and then we shared that around the house - it wasn’t a store-bought graven image, but does it count? ---
**Author:** ![Intaglio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/71e660/32.png) [@Intaglio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intaglio)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/72 "2003-04-26T13:47:51Z")
I would need a filling for my Chocolate Jesus - Peanut Butter, Caramel, Almonds, Rice Crispies. ---
**Author:** ![FairyDust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ccd318/32.png) [@FairyDust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyDust)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/73 "2003-05-03T22:52:01Z")
How about a [white chocolate Jesus with liquid cherry center?](http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/White_20Chocolate_20Jesus_20with_20Liquid_20Cherry_20Center) And a belated welcome, **Kid Czarcasm**! Are you as cute as your name? ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/74 "2003-06-18T13:02:47Z")
My eldest sister, who teaches at a religious school, was given a white chocolate “Last Supper” bar by one of her students’ parents for Easter! She gave it to me because she wasn’t comfotable about eating it, and since my husband and I thought it was a tad creepy, we left it in the back seat of our car on a hot day and let it melt a little to obscure the details befroe we ate it. Its one thing to it the head off of a bunny, another to nosh on the noggin of the Christian savior (Judas, wouldn’t mine so much…) Humming Tom Waits’ “Chocolate Jesus” Patty ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/75 "2003-06-18T13:20:45Z")
Interestingly enough, in some of the Bubble Gum machines around here, the kind that dispense the cheesy crappy toys, there are little toy Buddha figurines to play with. This bothers me on a whole different level. I am not religious, but I try to be respectful. Just because where I live is 99% Christian, you don’t think the few token 1% Other Religion might wander by and see the plastic Buddha’s for sale for 50 cents and be offended. Buddha as a toy. You don’t see Ganesh or Shiva as toys. Buddha may be cute, chubby , but he ain’t no toy. It’s just disrespectful. I cannot imagine in Bombay or Katmandu’s Bubble Gum Machine’s there being little plastic Jesus’ for sale for the kiddies to play. I could not eat a chocolate Jesus, unless it was a boxed set of Jesus, Allah, Buddha and Shiva. Might as well offend all the Heavens. And Jesus would have to have a nutty inside, Allah’s would have to be filled with liquer. Buddha, meat and Shiva, uhhhh, just chocolatey goodness. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/76 "2003-06-18T13:27:07Z")
Of course there’s the fact that no one actually knows what Jesus looked like. We do know what some medieval artist’s rendering looked like. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/77 "2003-06-18T13:28:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Severian \* > \*\*“You got Jesus in my peanut butter!” > > “You got peanut butter on my Jesus!” \*\* Someone’s been reading the online comic “goats,” haven’t they? [http://www.goats.com/archive/980313.html](http://www.goats.com/archive/980313.html) And I’d have no problems eating a chocolate jesus. ---
**Author:** ![chukhung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e79b87/32.png) [@chukhung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chukhung)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/78 "2003-06-18T14:03:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > **You don’t see Ganesh or Shiva as toys.** You might be surprised. Take a look about three-quarters of the way down this page, [http://www.fishbaymercantile.com/asp/product.asp?page=funand.html](http://www.fishbaymercantile.com/asp/product.asp?page=funand.html) > [@](#): > > **The hand of gods** > > Turn your fingers into powerful Hindu gods with these Handy Hindu Finger Puppets. Brahma, Ganesh, Garuda and Kali are each accurately portrayed in firm rubber with all the arms, heads, tongues and wings that make them so special. Each puppet is 1-1/2" to 2" tall and fits snugly on adult fingers. I’ll also note that when I was in Taiwan in 1999 it seemed to me like Hello Kitty was well on her way to being considered a minor deity there… ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/79 "2003-06-18T14:34:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gex gex \* > \*\*I’d eat the Chocolate Jesus. I’d eat him crucified (that’s how I initially pictured it). I’d eat it on a train. I’d eat it in the rain. I’d eat it with a goat. I’d eat it in a boat. I’d eat it here or there. I’d eat it anywhere. > > In fact, I want one now. \*\* Oh, I get it. Instead of green eggs and ham, red _aches_ and **“Him”**! :eek: :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Twilight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@Twilight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twilight)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/80 "2003-06-18T14:59:50Z")
In a heartbeat. Of course, I’d eat pretty much anything chocolate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802.md?page=5)