# Would you eat a chocolate Jesus? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 24, 2003, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802 "2003-04-24T06:11:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2003, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/101 "2003-06-20T13:11:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*Would it be inappropriate to mention that I’ve seen Virgin Mary Vibrators and Baby Jesus Butt Plugs? \*\* You know, this really makes the Baby Jesus cry! But it’s OK, because nobody can hear him! ---
**Author:** ![gillesmt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f19dbf/32.png) [@gillesmt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gillesmt)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/102 "2003-09-18T00:38:01Z")
“I don’t care if it rains or freezes As long as I’ve got my plastic Jesus” That line is from a long forgotten song. Can anyone tell me the name and where I might be able to find an MP3 of it? ---
**Author:** ![chuckster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@chuckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chuckster)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/103 "2003-09-18T05:19:26Z")
Don’t we eat Jesus everytime we take communion? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/104 "2003-09-18T11:56:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gillesmt \* > \*\*“I don’t care if it rains or freezes > As long as I’ve got my plastic Jesus” > That line is from a long forgotten song. > Can anyone tell me the name and where I might be able to find an MP3 of it? \*\* The answer’s in the question: it’s called [Plastic Jesus](http://www.geocities.com/yossarian70038/PIANOSA9/jesusdance_lyrics.html). ---
**Author:** ![Pergau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7c8e57/32.png) [@Pergau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pergau)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/105 "2003-09-18T12:27:54Z")
Choclate covered communion wafers - the way to get kidsdto go to mass. ---
**Author:** ![Isabelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5a626/32.png) [@Isabelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isabelle)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/106 "2003-09-18T20:21:29Z")
In the south Christian _anything_ chocolate sells! Selling candy is big business. Infact the outside wrappings of the candy look like famous names but have Christan sayings on them instead. I have not seen a Chocolate Jesus but yeah I would eat him. ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2003, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/107 "2003-09-18T21:01:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*See, if you had a cherry-cordial-filled chocolate Jesus, with little holes in it so it bled . . . Mmmmmm . . . \*\* Mmmm…cherry stigmata… hey, Band Name! ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/108 "2003-09-19T00:56:19Z")
I’d eat a chocolate Jesus and then go for a ride on my golden calf. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/109 "2003-09-19T01:19:33Z")
I could eat a chocolate Jesus. I might have a bit of trouble eating any foodstuff called “The Last Supper”. Mmmmmm… almonds. I’ve been to the Buddah Bar in Paris. I would eat a Buddah Bar. I wouldn’t eat a “Captain’s Log”. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/110 "2003-09-19T02:45:39Z")
Why stop at chocolate? “My bologna has a first name, it’s J-E-S-U-S”… I could really get into Jesus Spam ™. ---
**Author:** ![adirondack\_mike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5a626/32.png) [@adirondack\_mike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adirondack_mike)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/111 "2003-09-19T03:44:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dr\_Paprika \* > \*\*I could really get into Jesus Spam ™. \*\* Yes. But would you eat him head first? ---
**Author:** ![blasphmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@blasphmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blasphmer)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/112 "2003-09-19T04:48:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Homebrew \* > \*\*Would it be inappropriate to mention that I’ve seen Virgin Mary Vibrators and Baby Jesus Butt Plugs? \*\* Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/113 "2003-09-19T14:46:51Z")
Y’know, after chuckling at this thread for so long, I have come to the conclusion that **chocolate jesus** would be a great name for a band. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2003, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/114 "2003-09-19T14:47:58Z")
::::::Sometimes you feel like a religous nut some times you don’t:::: ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/115 "2003-09-20T00:07:46Z")
Good heavens, no WAY would I eat a chocolate Jesus! What is wrong with you people? [sub]Chocolate, yuk![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/116 "2003-09-20T02:17:55Z")
This girl I work with gives Jesus head. Jesus Ramirez! ---
**Author:** ![sajwalke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/edb3f5/32.png) [@sajwalke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sajwalke)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/117 "2003-09-20T10:03:21Z")
I wouldn’t eat chocolate if it was shaped like a turd, but other than that, I’d eat any shape. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802/118 "2003-09-20T13:25:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gyrate \* > \*\*The answer’s in the question: it’s called [Plastic Jesus](http://www.geocities.com/yossarian70038/PIANOSA9/jesusdance_lyrics.html). \*\* That site is a goldmine! Thanks, \*\* Gyrate \*\*. Why does this thread keep being resurrected? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-chocolate-jesus/170802.md?page=5)