# Would You Eat a Hippopotamus Sandwich? (a poll) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 6, 2002, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897 "2002-12-06T12:09:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/41 "2002-12-06T16:12:23Z")
Hippos are mean bastards, right? Sure, I’d eat one. If nothing else it might make them think twice before they twirl their dung at me or try to stomp me into so much people goo. I once had lion and alligator and rattlesnake at a local restaurant during “exotic game week,” and ever since then none of those meanies have tried to attack me. Be proactive, I say. ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/42 "2002-12-06T16:13:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bdgr \* > \*\*Aboslutely…BTW, how is Hippo not Kosher? \*\* It’s in the Bible (Old Testament. Torah?) along with the “[unclean animals](http://www.auracom.com/~gmilroy/animals2.htm#2)”. Not being real smart religion-wise I just figured that meant “not Kosher”. I’ve been wrong before and I’ll be wrong again. If hippopotamous IS Kosher, then skip the cheese. -Rue. (non dietary restricted) ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/43 "2002-12-06T16:35:31Z")
And now, my best guess as to what hippo tastes like: probably something like horse, since they’re both perissodactyl ungulates. Now, if only I knew what _horse_ tasted like! Dogfood, I guess… Kn(getting uncomfortably peckish from this thread)ckers ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/44 "2002-12-06T16:41:27Z")
Sure, I’d give it a try. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/45 "2002-12-06T16:46:44Z")
Shel Silverstein already gave us a [recipie](http://www.alphabet-soup.net/dir6/shel.html) for a hippopotamus sandwich. My answer (_kashrus_ issues aside) is no. The hippo is my animal. My wife is crazy about bears. My mother loves elephants. My best friend has a thing for penguins. My wife’s best friend loves dragons. So, I figured, I needed to pick an animal for myself. And, because I have a perverse sense of humor, I chose what I thought to me the most unlikely animal to be loved. Besides, considering that I was very overweight at the time, a hippo kind of reminded me of myself anyway. So, the hippo it was. The end result is that on the desk that I am typing this from, I have about a dozen hippos. At home I have about ninety more. 🙂 Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/46 "2002-12-06T16:50:37Z")
With hippopotamus sandwiches going for a mere $2, plus a choice of two sides, I think I can splurge and say yes, I would absolutely eat one. What about a hippopotamus steak, though, since [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=148460) got my salivary glands all riled up? ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/47 "2002-12-06T16:53:05Z")
Y ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/48 "2002-12-06T16:57:28Z")
“Please, O great Ngai, god of Everything and Everywhere, I would SO much like to live in the rivers and streams,” begged Hippo hopefully. “I would still eat grass.” …And now and then he floats to the top and opens his huge mouth ever so wide and says: “Look Ngai! No fishes!” – from HOT HIPPO by Mwenye Hadithi and Adrienne Kennaway (1986) …Nah, I just couldn’t do it. I’d be hearing that cute hippopotamus voice in my head with every juicy bite. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/49 "2002-12-06T17:00:21Z")
Yes. :rolleyes:Then again, I’ll eat anything if it has enough ketchup on it. ---
**Author:** ![Alto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Alto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alto)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/50 "2002-12-06T17:09:50Z")
I actually have! Not hippo sandwich though, hippo pate–but surely that’s close enough to count. I was in a restaurant famed for 1)being very the most romantic place in town and 2)serving exotic meats. (I don’t know how those were supposed to be related.) And they claimed their pate had hippo in it–although I don’t know if they were telling the truth. It didn’t taste like hippo. ---
**Author:** ![sycorob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@sycorob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sycorob)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/51 "2002-12-06T17:10:23Z")
Get a hunk of hippo, dry-rub with jerk seasoning, grill to perfection, serve with my in-law’s secret (I mean secret, won’t tell my sister) barbecue sauce, on a poppy-seed bun. Side of cole-slaw and some onion rings. Dammit, now I’m hungry. I wonder what it tastes like? A cross between fish and horse. Not so hungry anymore. Still yes, though. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/52 "2002-12-06T18:00:17Z")
Yes. I sure would. And I’d eat a Little Debbie for dessert. Now, where’d she go? ---
**Author:** ![mlerose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/43a26b/32.png) [@mlerose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlerose)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/53 "2002-12-06T18:49:55Z")
No. Nothing against you or the hippo, **Rue** , but I don’t eat meat, just fish. Now if you could find a hippo that was actually a fish, then maybe. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/54 "2002-12-06T19:26:22Z")
Sammich? Pfft, wussies. I would eat the 44oz Hippo-Challenge steak (medium rare, with raw horseradish) with the all-you-can-eat potato bar, side salad, and Texas toast; _AND_ I’d eat it in less than 30 minutes so that I got my photo on the wall of fame and the coupon for $10 off my next visit. And you wanna talk about _sammiches_? ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/55 "2002-12-06T19:29:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mlerose \* > \*\*Now if you could find a hippo that was actually a fish, then maybe. \*\* You mean the elusive HippoFish of the Serengeti. Very tasty, but deadly if prepared wrong. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/56 "2002-12-06T19:36:55Z")
Sure!! Make mine a double with cheese extra mayo no pickles! “two all hippo patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun!” The new McHippo Value Meal…would you like to super-size that? ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/57 "2002-12-06T19:41:35Z")
I would. But I think it would be cannibilism. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/58 "2002-12-06T19:43:39Z")
> [@](#): > > And now, my best guess as to what hippo tastes like: probably something like horse, since they’re both perissodactyl ungulates. Now, if only I knew what horse tasted like! “Hippo” means “horse”. “Potamos” means "river. A hippopotamus is a river-horse. So hippopotatumuses would taste like horses AND rivers. Kinda slimy. And yes, I would eat a hippo sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/59 "2002-12-06T19:50:19Z")
Why do I get the feeling that **Rue** just came into a large supply of hippo meat and that in about 2 hours we’re going to be reading about the benefits of joining his Amway-like (Amwayesque?) scheme to sell these things? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897/60 "2002-12-06T20:16:14Z")
I’ll go for it, heck, I ate jellyfish salad and didn’t die or anything so hippo should be A-OK [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-a-hippopotamus-sandwich-a-poll/140897.md?page=4)