# Would you eat an $81 hamburger? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 1, 2008, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553 "2008-04-01T17:34:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/21 "2008-04-01T22:07:31Z")
Meh, their attempts at fancifying a burger are a turnoff. I like the high-quality beef and the idea of stuffing a steak in a burger is awesome, but I still see burgers as a casual food, so the ginger sake miso (what, no wasabi?) aioli doesn’t really belong. It sounds like it would overpower the flavor of the beef. If I did order it, though, the first thing I would do is cut those “tater tots” to the appropriate size. ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/22 "2008-04-01T22:09:01Z")
This is like asking me if I would screw a $1,000 an hour call girl. The answer is yes, as long as someone else is paying. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/23 "2008-04-01T22:25:11Z")
Well played, **Amp**. ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/24 "2008-04-01T22:25:23Z")
I would if it was free and they let me smother it in ketchup. And swiss. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/25 "2008-04-01T22:26:17Z")
I’d probably like to try it once. I love a good hamburger and see nothing with spoiling myself every once in a while. > [@tdn](#): > > A place near me offers a 5-pound burger for $50. 14 slices of cheese, 10 slices of bacon, and 5 pounds of fries. No sharing allowed. If you can finish it in an hour, they give you a shirt Nobody has ever finished it. That’s why it’s not named after anyone. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/26 "2008-04-01T22:31:58Z")
I exress no opinion one way or the other, but…Anthony Bourdain on the Kobe beef hamburger: > [@](#): > > Enterprising restaurants are now offering the “Kobe beef burger,” enticingly priced at near or above $100 a pop. And if there’s a better way to prove one’s total ignorance of all three words - Kobe, beef, and burger - this, my friends, is it. It’s the trifecta of dumb-ass. The Kobe experience is principally about the marbling, the even distribution of fat through lean. A hamburger is a bunch of lean beef thrown into a grinder with varying degrees of fat. If you are foolish enough to order a Kobe burger, you are entirely missing the point. Firstly, the fat will melt right out of the thing while cooking. Secondly, you are asking the chef to destroy the very textural notes for which Kobe is valued by smarter people. Thirdly, for an eight-ounce Kobe burger, you are paying for the chef to feed you all the outer fat and scrap bits he trimmed off the outside of his “real” Kobe so he can afford to serve properly trimmed steaks to wiser patrons who know what the hell they’re doing. And fourthly, you’re paying a hundred bucks for a freakin’ hamburger! Get over yourself! You’ve already established you’re too drunk and stupid to enjoy it in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/27 "2008-04-01T22:32:04Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] A place in Texas offers a FREE 72 oz. [steak](http://www.bigtexan.com/72ozlive.htm)…if you can eat it and all the fixings in an hour. I order a 7 ounce steak at my favorite local steakhouse because it’s the smallest they offer, and I have to take half of it home, as well as two-thirds of the baked potato. [/QUOTE] What’s frightening is that about one in five of those who try can actually do it! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/28 "2008-04-01T22:36:57Z")
We used to go for $150 hamburgers all the time. Of course, the $150 included the cost of the airplane. There was an airport about 100 miles from here that had great hamburgers, so it gave us an excuse to fire up the plane and and fly somewhere for fun. We’d literally say, “Hey, you wanna go for a $150 burger tomorrow?” ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/29 "2008-04-01T22:44:27Z")
How about a $350 burger? It’s not too big so it’s not exactly out of the question for dieters. [Only 134 lbs.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUMlMxNwYM) (video link). ---
**Author:** ![BarnOwl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e95f7d/32.png) [@BarnOwl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarnOwl)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/30 "2008-04-01T23:14:33Z")
I’d much rather have the $5 milkshake in Pulp Fiction. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/31 "2008-04-01T23:48:48Z")
[QUOTE=Sam Stone] We used to go for $150 hamburgers all the time. Of course, the $150 included the cost of the airplane. There was an airport about 100 miles from here that had great hamburgers, so it gave us an excuse to fire up the plane and and fly somewhere for fun. We’d literally say, “Hey, you wanna go for a $150 burger tomorrow?” [/QUOTE] Remember the good ole day’s when gas was $4/gallon and you could get a burger for $100. And that included a slice of homemade pie. FYI, the term [$100 hamburger](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/$100_Hamburger) is in Wikipedia. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/32 "2008-04-01T23:53:53Z")
Sure, you only live once. Of course, that burger may significantly decrease your lifespan… ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/33 "2008-04-02T00:46:16Z")
[This place has some pretty great burgers](http://bubis.org/bigger.html). There’s an 8lb burger that costs about 70 bucks. Other than this burger, it’s a reasonably priced place. My favorite part of the menu is underneath the biggest burger and it reads: **ask server about mandetory waiver**. To answer the OP: Yes, I’d pay for and eat an $80 burger. I’d request it cooked all the way through though. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/34 "2008-04-02T01:05:13Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] A place in Texas offers a FREE 72 oz. [steak](http://www.bigtexan.com/72ozlive.htm)…if you can eat it and all the fixings in an hour. I order a 7 ounce steak at my favorite local steakhouse because it’s the smallest they offer, and I have to take half of it home, as well as two-thirds of the baked potato. [/QUOTE] A HUGE (300+lbs) guy I knew in Fort Myers failed miserably at eating the 72 oz job; his wife told me he managed to eat about half of it. It made one hell of a doggy bag, or so she said. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/35 "2008-04-02T01:09:25Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] I would if it was free and they let me smother it in ketchup. And swiss. [/QUOTE] And who gets to be the first to say the same about a $1,000 call-girl. (Aside from me, of course) Susan ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/36 "2008-04-02T01:20:38Z")
Sure, I’d eat it, but there’s no way in hell I’d pay that much for it. If I was in the mood for a nearly-vomit-inducing amount of meat, I’d just get a couple of Hardee’s monster burgers for about a quarter of the price. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/37 "2008-04-02T01:28:46Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] You get a perfectly shaped, with specially baked bun, NINE POUND cheeseburger for only $50. That includes a hefty order of fries that comes with it. [/QUOTE] I’d have to get the cousins in for that one, as well as all four of ‘I’. ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/38 "2008-04-02T01:32:42Z")
I’d come closer to being able to eat $81 worth of Krystals (pronounced Kriss-chels) but it might take two or three sittings. After all, the way they’re priced these days, that’s close to 160 gut bombs. I have been known to pack away 20 at a time, and if there were money on the line I could probably get 30 down before dropping over. So, let’s say five sittings. Six for comfort’s sake. What’s the time limit? ---
**Author:** ![Euryphaessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Euryphaessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euryphaessa)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/39 "2008-04-02T02:12:09Z")
I’ll answer your question with another question: Would you eat a $97 In-N-Out [100x100](http://whatupwilly.blogspot.com/2006/01/in-n-out-100x100.html)? And no, I wouldn’t eat an $81 burger. It seems to me like a waste of good beef. I would, however, attempt the 72 oz. steak. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2008, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553/40 "2008-04-02T02:36:05Z")
[QUOTE=Amp] This is like asking me if I would screw a $1,000 an hour call girl. The answer is yes, as long as someone else is paying. [/QUOTE] No, the question isn’t whether you would screw an expensive hamburger. The question is whether you would eat one which is the appropriate analogy for an expensive call-girl. I personally would not because my standards of freshness are about equal for both prostitutes and exclusive hamburger meat. I don’t have a problem with the hamburger price. Most people indulge themselves in things that are more expensive than that when all the costs are totalled. However, the portion size sounds, way, way too big and that is stupid because there are few things more nasty than a used hamburger. I think they need to focus on quality over quantity for people like me to take it somewhat seriously rather than just a shock stunt. So few people would order such a thing that the ingredients have to be less than pristine anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-eat-an-81-hamburger/443553.md?page=3)