# Would you ever use "we" in the sense of "my partner and I" without having first stated you had one?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-ever-use-we-in-the-sense-of-my-partner-and-i-without-having-first-stated-you-had-one/846539>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 17, 2020, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-ever-use-we-in-the-sense-of-my-partner-and-i-without-having-first-stated-you-had-one/846539 "2020-01-17T01:03:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\
**Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-ever-use-we-in-the-sense-of-my-partner-and-i-without-having-first-stated-you-had-one/846539/21 "2020-01-20T08:07:20Z")

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I also frequently drop into the unexplained-first-person-plural usage, even when referencing groups of friends or co-workers rather than a spouse/partner.

> [@The Maple Leaf](#):
>
> If i could do things again, I wouldn’t have asked her what she meant by “we” and would have turned a blind eye to the probable meaning of “we” and just asked her out anyway after awhile.

😕 In the hope that her boyfriend somehow wouldn’t exist if you weren’t explicitly aware of him? Not seeing why this seems to you like a better approach.

Also, it seems a tad oversensitive to be “irked” by a widespread linguistic phenomenon just because some of your students have happened to use it when declining to date you. (I take it that teachers dating their students is considered more socially acceptable in the CR?)

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**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\
**Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-ever-use-we-in-the-sense-of-my-partner-and-i-without-having-first-stated-you-had-one/846539/22 "2020-01-20T19:45:59Z")

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Very common, though depends on the usage.

“Where do you live?”  
“We live in the xx neighborhood.” Understood that I meant “The people I live with and I.”

“What did you do this weekend?”  
“We went to dinner and a movie.” I would find this a little more unusual, if I did not know the person had a partner. I would not know who he’s talking about. Could’ve been a first date for all I know.

“Want to meet for lunch?”  
“Sure, what time should we be there?” This one is just weird.

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**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\
**Post date:** [January 20, 2020, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-ever-use-we-in-the-sense-of-my-partner-and-i-without-having-first-stated-you-had-one/846539/23 "2020-01-20T22:03:39Z")

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I was on a business field trip, sitting in the back of the bus with friends and an attractive newbie. After several hours I mentioned my wife by name. Cute noob asked, “Who is that?” Rick said, " Oh, that’s drop’s wife. "

“You never mentioned her before. Why not?”

I shrugged, "It hadn’t come up before. We were talking about work and the trip. I mean, we’ve only known each other since this morning. " : old rolleyes :

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