# would you expect your SO to pay you for a product? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 12, 2018, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866 "2018-10-12T18:11:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/21 "2018-10-13T12:43:55Z")
> [@amaguri](#): > > My side hustle is a home bakery-- I have a website and business cards, etc so I take it semi-seriously but I mostly sell to friends and referrals. My husband requested 2doz cupcakes for a co-worker and he insisted on paying me even after I told him not to bother. All of our money is “our money” anyway, so moving a few bucks between accounts seems… unnecessary? > > I certainly didn’t argue because it’s not that big of a deal but it just made me think… > Would you expect or ask your SO to pay you for something that you created? It depends. The phrase “my husband requested 2doz cupcakes for a co-worker” is unclear. Was this the co-worker placing an order? Or was this a gift from your husband to the co-worker? (2 dozen seems like a biggish gift.) If the former, then definitely you should get the co-worker’s payment, even if it passes through your husband’s hands. If the latter, once again, it depends. If this is a one-time or rare request, then no biggie. But if he’s taking your baked goods to the office fairly frequently, then since you are doing this as a business, you need to keep track in some way to know whether he and his co-workers are eating up all your profits, or what. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/22 "2018-10-13T13:14:30Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > Yeah, he’s not paying his wife Amaguri; he’s paying the business Amaguri LLC. He’s also setting an example for any co-workers, cousins, or next door neighbor’s godmother’s stepson who thinks that either of you should be providing freebies for every occasion. > > He’s a smart cookie. Absolutely! A family member used to own a carpet store, he was always having to deal with relatives looking for good deals, some would even come from out of state at the urging of others to go see Gail to get a great deal. They felt like they were helping his business but expected deep discounts - cheap bastards! ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/23 "2018-10-13T13:15:08Z")
I have kept funds in accounts for certain purposes and money moved in/out of those accounts is done per the reason for the account. This helps a lot in keeping track of things for various reasons. So if a sold something, the money for the sale goes into the account for that, regardless of source. Basic Money Management 101. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/24 "2018-10-13T13:52:04Z")
Of course not. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2018, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/25 "2018-10-13T13:57:26Z")
I did although she never argued the point at all; the exception being if it was something for herself (personal consumption) and then it was a freebie. I was in sporting goods manufacturing and all the various taxes and reports I had to file ------- I didn’t want to do anything much for free. ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/26 "2018-10-15T12:54:56Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > Yeah, he’s not paying his wife Amaguri; he’s paying the business Amaguri LLC. **He’s also setting an example for any co-workers, cousins, or next door neighbor’s godmother’s stepson who thinks that either of you should be providing freebies for every occasion.** > > He’s a smart cookie. (Bolding mine) I also think that he is paying Amaguri a great honor in several ways: [ol] [li]He considers her business legitimate[/li][li]He is showing her that he doesn’t take her (or her talents) for granted[/li][li]Hi, Opal[/li][/ol] Smart cookie, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/27 "2018-10-15T16:41:37Z")
> [@Saint\_Cad](#): > > I could see this for bookkeeping reasons especially if your business has its own bank account. That was my thought too; just baking a couple dozen cupcakes and not accounting for it will throw your inventory and balance sheets off. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2018, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/28 "2018-10-15T19:25:20Z")
I don’t know how often it ever actually happens, but in theory, the IRS could challenge a home-based side business, disallowing deductions on the basis that it’s really just a hobby. Being nitpicky about the bookkeeping can help establish that the business is real. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2018, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/29 "2018-10-16T11:08:01Z")
> [@bump](#): > > That was my thought too; just baking a couple dozen cupcakes and not accounting for it will throw your inventory and balance sheets off. > [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > I don’t know how often it ever actually happens, but in theory, the IRS could challenge a home-based side business, disallowing deductions on the basis that it’s really just a hobby. Being nitpicky about the bookkeeping can help establish that the business is real. You just write that two dozen off as waste, the same you would with two dozen that were burnt and tossed. Right?😕 ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2018, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/30 "2018-10-16T11:40:48Z")
A couple of dozen cupcakes for my husband’s business would be advertising. Those people have parties of their own, the holidays are coming up, weddings, etc. I’d consider it a giant tasting and would have sent a bunch of my business cards along with the order. It’s 24 cupcakes, not 200. 200 I’m getting paid for, but I’d probably send a box of free assorted Halloween, Christmas, etc samples with it. My husband owns his own business. More than one actually. 35+ years. He gives a break to friends and family. I think it could also matter what income bracket you are in. For a lot of people the cupcake reimbursement is not just symbolic, it’s needed. If it is needed, then don’t be embarrassed about asking for money you earned or making it clear that you expect those cupcakes to be paid for. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2018, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/31 "2018-10-16T14:37:10Z")
If it was an item that was trackable for taxation purposes, yes. Otherwise, no. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2018, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/32 "2018-10-16T15:31:12Z")
Add me to those who think there’s a distinction between paying your SO for something and paying your SO’s _business_ for something. ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/33 "2018-10-17T05:56:06Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > A couple of dozen cupcakes for my husband’s business would be advertising. Those people have parties of their own, the holidays are coming up, weddings, etc. I’d consider it a giant tasting and would have sent a bunch of my business cards along with the order. It’s 24 cupcakes, not 200. 200 I’m getting paid for, but I’d probably send a box of free assorted Halloween, Christmas, etc samples with it. > > My husband owns his own business. More than one actually. 35+ years. He gives a break to friends and family. > > I think it could also matter what income bracket you are in. For a lot of people the cupcake reimbursement is not just symbolic, it’s needed. If it is needed, then don’t be embarrassed about asking for money you earned or making it clear that you expect those cupcakes to be paid for. I think it’s more that we’re talking about consumables rather that a product with a shelf life of a few years. And setting a standard. Here’s what i charge, here’s the friends and family discount. If you’re not careful, you’ll end up with a standing two dozen freebie cupcakes order every Friday. By paying Wife’s business, Husband is protecting himself from the Office Cheapskate. The man or woman who will try to get something for free at every turn. Had a co-worker whose wife made cakes. At first, she offered them at cost to her husband’s co-workers, but it soon became apparent that co-worker Mary was using this discount to provide cakes for every bake sale, PTA, and church event Mary attended. And she sure wasn’t getting any extra business out of it. Just the teeth gritting knowledge that she was doing Mary’s chore for free even if she was getting paid for the ingredients. Those dishes don’t wash themselves. Husband in the OP probably wants to head off that type or the “hey, aren’t you going to bring in free cupcakes tomorrow? It’s Friday.” type by being able to truthfully say “Oh, I pay for them just like everyone else.” Check with anyone who sews or knits: people will ask you to do all sorts of things for next to nothing and then get upset because they think $25 is ridiculous for a scarf when a skein of yarn is only $3 at Hobby Lobby. People can get kind of absent minded about the time and effort that goes into the process. ---
**Author:** ![Catsie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c0e974/32.png) [@Catsie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catsie)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/34 "2018-10-17T09:10:20Z")
> [@Melbourne](#): > > I would certainly expect to pay /myself/ if I was taking product out of stock. Confusing business and personal is one of the things I was taught leads to small-business failure. Workers can take a reasonable amount of product for personal use: management never. > > So it depends if you regard your husband as part of management team (must pay), or part of the clientele (goodwill and marketing expenses) I would agree with this. You can’t get away from the fact that the money to pay for the ingredients, labor, etc must come from somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/35 "2018-10-17T11:58:58Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Add me to those who think there’s a distinction between paying your SO for something and paying your SO’s _business_ for something. Add me. Plus you had to do the work, that’s worth something in and of itself. ---
**Author:** ![Emergency911](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/43a26b/32.png) [@Emergency911](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emergency911)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/36 "2018-10-17T13:22:05Z")
> [@BeeGee](#): > > Yeah, he’s not paying his wife Amaguri; he’s paying the business Amaguri LLC. He’s also setting an example for any co-workers, cousins, or next door neighbor’s godmother’s stepson who thinks that either of you should be providing freebies for every occasion. > > He’s a smart cookie. I agree with this statement. A co-worker’s mother started a small bakery. He asked her to bake and decorate a birthday cake for another co-worker. Normally we would all chip in and buy a cake, but she did it for free, (she was just starting out and thought it would be a good way to gain some new clients). By the time the next birthday rolled around, everyone thought she would make another free cake… This started a long discussion in the office on how we shouldn’t take advantage of someone’s goodwill and should never expect freebies because we knew her son. It worked itself out eventually, but there were some hard feelings for a short time with some people. The kicker is she was charging about half of what we usually paid for a cake and her cake was 10x better than the others. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2018, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866/37 "2018-10-17T15:10:50Z")
I own a small business. I do not charge my relatives _but_ I also do not get them any xmas gifts. My cost for not charging for my goods/services probably comes to $200 per person, and they usually give me $100 - $200 worth of xmas stuff each year (mostly bar/brewery gift cards). It all works out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-expect-your-so-to-pay-you-for-a-product/822866.md?page=1)