# Would you fuck/date/marry an (ex)stripper/prostitute/phone sex operator/porn actor/other sex worker? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 18, 2011, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911 "2011-06-18T05:09:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/41 "2011-06-19T06:20:49Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > There’s sex in a lot of champagne rooms.😉 I hate it, but it’s true. Sure, there are still clubs where things are pretty clean, but there are soooo many that aren’t. cite? or is this just “something you know”? ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/42 "2011-06-19T06:51:37Z")
Yes to all. No problem. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/43 "2011-06-19T06:55:03Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > cite? or is this just “something you know”? > **[Another Houston Strip Club Raided](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/another-houston-strip-club-raided)** > > JUNE 2--Proving again that it's legally perilous to work at a Texas gentlemen's club, police last Thursday arrested 18 employees of a Houston strip joint on a variety of charges, including prostitutio > **[The "Treasures" Hunters](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/sex/treasures-hunters)** > > JANUARY 28--For the third time in a year, police have raided an upscale Houston strip joint and busted dancers on assorted charges, including prostitution. > As cops have done previously (see here and h > **[Houston Strip Club Sting Nets 11](http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/houston-strip-club-sting-nets-11)** > > JANUARY 12--In our continuing effort to chronicle law enforcement raids at strip clubs nationwide, TSG today brings you news of Wednesday night's crackdown at a Texas establishment that resulted in th That’s just one “upscale” establishment in Houston. You don’t think it happens even more in seedier places? ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/44 "2011-06-19T19:49:48Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > That’s just one “upscale” establishment in Houston. You don’t think it happens even more in seedier places? Houston in unusual in that a stripper can be arrested if she gets within three feet of a customer while she’s naked. That law makes it easy for the police to do sweeps and make mass arrests. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/45 "2011-06-19T19:55:49Z")
I change my answer, upon consideration (and thanks for the correction above – yes, I know a meat puppet/living “real doll” or whatever those creepy things are, can have brains). I remembered I like phone sex, quite a bit, and am very good at it, so I’d go for one of them. Most chicks are too shy for a real good ole session, so I’d go for a pro anyday. Not that other stuff, though – I’m proud of not getting that AIDS, and also that hep, plus I think they jam a needle in your urethra for one of those other STDs, which would not fit in my schedule. ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/46 "2011-06-20T00:14:44Z")
> [@Jaledin](#): > > I change my answer, upon consideration (and thanks for the correction above – yes, I know a meat puppet/living “real doll” or whatever those creepy things are, can have brains). I remembered I like phone sex, quite a bit, and am very good at it, so I’d go for one of them. Most chicks are too shy for a real good ole session, so I’d go for a pro anyday. Not that other stuff, though – I’m proud of not getting that AIDS, and also that hep, plus I think they jam a needle in your urethra for one of those other STDs, which would not fit in my schedule. Naw, they don’t have to swab for chlamydia/gonorrhea anymore. Just pee in a cup. 😉 (Man, I should start a “Ask the Guy Who Gets STI Tested Every Couple of Months” thread. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/47 "2011-06-20T01:35:53Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > cite? or is this just “something you know”? Well, I’ve worked as a stripper on and off for the last 17 years (damn, that sounds like a long time, lol). In that time I’ve probably danced in 15 or so different clubs and have known a couple hundred other strippers. I’m also involved in an online community for sex workers that has about 200 members, where we talk about everything related to our work. That includes reports on many different clubs in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and various other countries. Oh, and that’s not to mention how many men I’ve talked to about this sort of thing over the years. I don’t have time to find specific threads about the “mileage” in different clubs, but sites like [www.stripclublist.com](http://www.stripclublist.com) and [www.tuscl.com](http://www.tuscl.com) often have customer reviews that discuss this kind of stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Jaledin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jaledin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaledin)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/48 "2011-06-20T03:13:42Z")
> [@chaoticbear](#): > > (Man, I should start a “Ask the Guy Who Gets STI Tested Every Couple of Months” thread. 😛 Hey I thought I was sneak-bragging, but you really brought it home! Uh, way to go, I guess. (And FU for reminding me about that gross thing with the urethra – but it’s OK because I can just hand my urine to my [sigh]married nice nurse[/didn’t say that]). ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/49 "2011-06-20T04:01:17Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Cite for the bolded parts? Or will you admit you’re talking out your ass? > > As the man says: [there’s no sex in the champagne room](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBdVpNc9BZ0). Yeah dude. There are plenty of stripclubs in NYC where you can have sex. Or did you think that people pay $1800 an hour to have a girl grind on them to the tune of Girls Girls Girls? And my answer to the OPs question is “hell no”. Let’s think about this for a second. Take away all the “Pretty Woman” “hooker with a heart of gold” fantasies. What would such a relationship be based on? In my observations (with friends who date or marry strippers), it’s mostly about control. They usually make pretty good money and they seem to feel a sense of power with being with a hot woman whose decision is “put up with his bullshit” or “go back to working the pole”. ---
**Author:** ![Ura-Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/51bf81/32.png) [@Ura-Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ura-Maru)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/50 "2011-06-20T04:20:44Z")
Another, ‘depends on what kind of sex worker,’ and with the now-traditional, ‘assuming they were someone I’d like to date/marry/whatever anyway.’ Porn, sure. I’ve met a few part-timers, and at least one or two were pretty interesting. I’d feel like a pimp if I was dating a working ‘commercial’ porn actress, but that would be my problem, not hers. A retired one, or someone in a fringe or part-time area would be fine. (I will, generously, make an exception should Claire Adams or Chanta Rose wish to leave their current partners and pursue a relationship with a chunky unemployed geek they don’t know) I’d be a little wary of a (current) stripper or dominatrix, for fear of real life drama spillover, but only a little, and wouldn’t have any with a retired one. A prostitute would almost garentee drama spillover, and I’m kind of a pussy, so, no. Even an ex-prostitute, unless it was **well** in the past and preferably geographically separate. That’s a practical, not a moral decision, though I’m uncomfortable with (and disapproving of) prostitution in a way I am not with porn, dancing, and other stuff. Well, I\*\* am\*\* a little uncomfortable about professional dominatrix-ing, but mostly from a philosophical standpoint, nothing I couldn’t deal with. Erotic writer, artist, photographer, model, or rigger would be a flat positive, not a negative. ‘Interests,’ AND creative skills? Is there a waiting list I can sign up for? – > [@DWMarch](#): > > Having my balls stepped on or a boot heel jammed in my ass is not my idea of fun. You’re assuming her job is also her hobby. Or at least that that she’s on the same side of the boots for both. That’s not always the case. One of the dominatri (I know it’s dominatrices, but the other sounds better) I’ve known was pretty submissive out of character. Still boisterous and pushy, but she had to visibly restrain herself from kneeling and licking the hand of anyone in authority. Or just a uniform. This has been backed by enough anecdotal evidence from other sources to imply that, while hardly universal, it’s not uncommon. Besides, then you could honestly say “Yeah, she **was** a dominatrix. **Before** she met me,” which would imply you had tamed her with your unstoppable manliness, instead of just meeting her after she left the job. And that’s ‘known’ in a strictly non-professional context, smartasses. Well, except when I was selling her stuff from my store, and that wasn’t what you meant. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/51 "2011-06-20T05:43:21Z")
I’ve dated (read: fucked) strippers before. No big deal. Never got a chance to really get to know them as serious girlfriend material, but they were fun dates. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/52 "2011-06-20T11:16:16Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I’ve dated (read: fucked) strippers before. No big deal. Never got a chance to really get to know them as serious girlfriend material, but they were fun dates. I’m curious. Did you meet them at the strip club or where they girls you met somewhere else who happened to be strippers? With my friends who have married strippers, I often find myself in conversations that end with me saying something along the lines of: “…I can’t see anything wrong with you marrying your best friend’s exotic dancer ex-girlfriend who happens to need a Green Card to stay in the country.” “…no, I don’t think having to pay off the Russian mob is neccessarily a red flag in a relationship.” “…yes, it might be a bit douchey to take your current mistress to the same strip club where your wife used to work.” “…I think your coworkers might be uncomfortible with you bringing your girlfriend to the company happy hour since you haven’t divorced your stripper wife yet.” “…that’s surprising to me that your stripper wife won’t look for a job. She used to be pretty industrious IIRC.” ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/53 "2011-06-20T14:51:12Z")
In my youth, I was a bartender in a down-scale, seedy strip club. No drugs, no prostitution allowed. Dancers could touch or get close to guys and go bottom-less, but no leaning over and showing anything pink. They’d grind the guys, but there’s no sex in, well, you know. Being on the “inside” of this industry was interesting and I got to meet - and “date” a small handful of legitimate porn actresses as well as sleeping with a different stipper almost every night.😃 Most of them were average, level-headed girls with the general ambition to make some cash and get on with life/college/family and so on. I happen to like women with no sexual hangups or inhibitions, although pets, poop, pain, and kids are still verboten as far as I’m concerned. :eek: YMMV. Marry a wild chick with a past? I did. A stripper who banged a guy here and there? Sure. A retired film star of 3-4 films? If the boobage is adequate, I’m there. A veteran actress of 68 films featuring animals and Anal Gangbang Sluts vol. 1-7? Now we’re getting some baggage I don’t need. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Street prostitute / Call Girl? These are women I have nothing in common with, and share no values or interests with. No dice. While I support their capitalist spirit, I also don’t want to get anything on me. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/54 "2011-06-20T14:53:47Z")
Many years ago, I worked at a record store (remember them?) that shared a parking lot with the best strip joint in Anchorage. The girls were always in the store looking for new music, and we’d recommend stuff. Then they’d invite us over to watch how they used it. Strictly professional. 😉 So I got to know a few of the dancers. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/55 "2011-06-20T14:57:15Z")
The problem is that here, in the west, most often, sex work is a refuge for the damaged. Not that it isn’t possible to get beyond our own damage, it is. But working the sex trade isn’t going to be healing it’s going to be exacerbating. Happy successful romances seem a long shot to me. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/56 "2011-06-20T15:09:45Z")
Sort of an aside, but I wold date a stripper-most of these girls are in excellent shape, and their dancing provides a lot of exercise. Years ago, on a business trip to Dtroit, I and my colleagues went to lunch-an establishment that featured exotic dancers. I talked to one of the girls-she was ukrainian, and had a PhD-she was saving up to buy a business back home. Very polite and intelligent. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/57 "2011-06-20T18:08:19Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > The problem is that here, in the west, most often, sex work is a refuge for the damaged. Compared to what part of the world? East Lapdanzistan? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Yaxche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8dc957/32.png) [@Yaxche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yaxche)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/58 "2011-06-20T19:42:50Z")
Married a stripper, now retired. I knew her before she started doing it, but didn’t bother me… ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/59 "2011-06-20T21:06:45Z")
I gotta say no, not even using another guys penis. I won’t claim that this is universally true, but my experience from living in a neighborhood full of strippers and hanging out with them quite a bit. Most of them were either addicts, had a disease of some kind or were a little bit not right in the head (yeaaah there were a few I didn’t hang out with alone cuz they were scary creepy). The big splash of ice water in the crotch was when I found out a redhead little cutie I was lusting after had hepatitus ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2011, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911/60 "2011-06-21T02:47:34Z")
Hm. I ended up marrying a former stripper, unbeknownst. I knew that she had been a bartender. Then it was bartender in a strip club. Ok, no big, right? Just recently, after marriage was already in the crapper, learned that she was actually a stripper. One more surprise in a long list. So, after seeing pieces fit together, I don’t suppose that I would marry another stripper. I know that there are exceptions, but take the classic I-was-a-stripper story, and that’s what I ended up with. I’m not entirely sure that stripping was as far as it went. Cheers! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-fuck-date-marry-an-ex-stripper-prostitute-phone-sex-operator-porn-actor-other-sex-worker/585911.md?page=4)