# Would you give up your life for your baby? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 21, 2016, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822 "2016-04-21T15:34:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2016, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/21 "2016-04-23T02:26:35Z")
> [@](#): > > This has played itself out in real life many times. Not usually uterine cancer, but breast cancer or lymphoma or some such, where chemotherapy might prolong life or even be curative. Of course, sufficient chemotherapy would be very toxic (most likely lethal or worse) to the developing fetus. > > I’ve heard of at least one case of the mother continuing the pregnancy. In most cancers, particularly slow-growing ones like breast cancer, it’s not really a big deal to delay chemotherapy for a few months. It doesn’t affect the patient’s outcome much at all. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2016, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/22 "2016-04-23T03:27:06Z")
Man, from the title I thought there was gonna be a baby in this scenario. Would I (hypothetically, after I grew a uterus) give up my life for a **fetus**? Hell to the no. I thought you were talking about my **baby** , and in a New York minute I would. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2016, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/23 "2016-04-23T04:33:56Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > Let’s say you’ve been trying very hard to get pregnant and finally manage it. So is this hypothetical set in Bizarro World? Because right off the bat my goals are completely the opposite of what they are here on Earth. ---
**Author:** ![CatastrophicFailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@CatastrophicFailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CatastrophicFailure)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2016, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/24 "2016-04-23T04:39:25Z")
I have two other children. I’m not going to die for a fetus and leave them without a mother. Even if I didn’t have other children, I wouldn’t risk it, based on what’s said in the hypothetical. I do know someone who was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer during her pregnancy, although at 32 weeks, not 20. (Note that [this is a much more aggressive form of breast cancer](http://www.cancer.gov/types/breast/ibc-fact-sheet) that progresses rapidly.) It was stage IV when found and had spread to her liver. They did a round of chemo while she was still pregnant and induced the baby at 37 weeks. After birth they found it had spread to her bones as well. She did chemo after the birth and had a double mastectomy, and now, a little over a year later, scans show she is cancer free, although she will need to be monitored closely for reoccurrences. So, in real life, there may be more options available then the hypothetical sets out. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2016, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/25 "2016-04-23T04:51:59Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Because I felt the hypothetical was stacking the deck in an unrealistic way, assuming in the OP _without saying_ that the baby would be born healthy and that there would be someone there willing and capable to raise it. All the OP actually stated was that the _mother_ had been trying hard to get pregnant and that _she_ wanted the child. In today’s world, that could mean one of several possibilities. But the hypothetical equally assumed without saying that the cancer removal would be successful. So how is the deck stacked? ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2016, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/26 "2016-04-23T19:19:22Z")
What I actually did in the real world. We had two children. No problems with pregnancy. Mother was small & I am large and my family history is large babies. Her history was normal size. We were both practicing Catholics so add all the Catholic consciousness stuff into the mix. Statement to the Docs and hospital and all who could possibly interfere, "If there has to be a choice for any reason, save the mother. ( she was in full agreement ) 18 years later the youngest, our daughter is dead. The older is a boy and is now grown with his own family. With everything I know that _has/had/the actual outcomes changed_ from 1968 or so to 1973 or so and on up until today, the decision would still be the same. At 72, I personally am _probably_ not going to need to make it again. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/27 "2016-04-23T20:52:48Z")
The reason for the question comes from the show house. Several times this sort of choice was asked and house could understand from an evolutionary standpoint that it made sense for a parent to die to ensure that the next generation to be born. I was curious if people would acknowledge such an instinct. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2016, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/28 "2016-04-24T00:20:18Z")
Would you cut down a beatiiful useful tree in order to plant a seedling in its place? An adult human, similarly, has already benefited from the investment in its development, and it makes no sense to destroy one only to start all over again. ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2016, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/29 "2016-04-24T00:46:22Z")
> [@](#): > > understand from an evolutionary standpoint that it made sense for a parent to die to ensure that the next generation to be born. I was curious if people would acknowledge such an instinct. There is no such instinct in people because babies don’t grow up unless highly invested adults are around to raise it. Despite the popular cultural references to mothers laying down their lives to protect their offspring, there are no mother animals that would ever do such a thing. Mother rats or bears or humans who let one baby die can survive and move on to have more babies. Mothers who die trying to protect one baby not only can not have any more babies but their current baby is probably going to die too. A mother dying in defense of offspring is a really stupid thing to do, evolutionary speaking. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2016, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/30 "2016-04-24T00:57:40Z")
I’d do without treatment to let the baby live. This has happened in my own family. My father’s sister was pregnant, and she had Hodgkin’s disease. She died a couple months after the baby was born. This was during WWII. So the father, who was in the Army, didn’t have a sick wife any longer, got sent to Europe, and killed in the Battle of the Bulge. So my cousin was an orphan when he was less than a year old. His father’s sister raised him. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2016, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/31 "2016-04-24T18:40:29Z")
> [@spamforbrains](#): > > That’s a no-brainer. Remove the uterus. You can always use a surrogate, adopt, or even have a uterus transplant to get another baby, but there’s only one you. Sounds like folks who say “That’s OK, you can always have another one” after someone miscarries. There was only one “that baby” too. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/32 "2016-04-25T03:06:08Z")
well, I’m a Dad and not a Mom, but this the exact type of conversation I have had with the Guestling Gaggle’s Moms. It came down to nope, there are to many alternatives routes to having an infant child to rear to make sacrificing Mom’s life worth while. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/33 "2016-04-25T03:22:55Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Sounds like folks who say “That’s OK, you can always have another one” after someone miscarries. There was only one “that baby” too. And it’s the truth, and if it’s not then that’s not the end of the world either. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/34 "2016-04-25T04:52:09Z")
I can forsee any number of scenarios, not the OP’s since I’m a father, where I would sacrifice so any of my kids can live. It’s not a hard calculation and actually it is pretty much an unthinking calculation. ---
**Author:** ![Moonshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5e9695/32.png) [@Moonshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonshine)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/35 "2016-04-25T15:52:49Z")
The birth of our first child was problematic and I was clear with my wife that if there ever came a point where a horrible choice had to be made and she couldn’t make it, I would instruct the doctors to save her life over the baby’s. FTR she (reluctantly) agreed. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/36 "2016-04-25T18:04:45Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > And it’s the truth, and if it’s not then that’s not the end of the world either. I’m talking more about the idea of saying such a thing to the person who miscarried. ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/37 "2016-04-25T20:18:47Z")
> [@spamforbrains](#): > > There is no such instinct in people because babies don’t grow up unless highly invested adults are around to raise it. Despite the popular cultural references to mothers laying down their lives to protect their offspring, there are no mother animals that would ever do such a thing. Mother rats or bears or humans who let one baby die can survive and move on to have more babies. Mothers who die trying to protect one baby not only can not have any more babies but their current baby is probably going to die too. A mother dying in defense of offspring is a really stupid thing to do, evolutionary speaking. I saw a nature show about this species of octopus where the mom, once she’s about to give “birth” (not really birth, but the eggs hatch in side of her so she’s viviparous), more or less allows the baby octoplings to eat her alive. Evolutionarily this benefits her because the babies are fully-formed and ready to go once they’re born, plus eating her gives them a head start. But yeah, for the most part, any animal mother who gives birth to small, helpless babies is not doing her genes any favors by laying down her life for them before they can survive on their own. If mouse mothers sense that that her brood is threatened, she will sometimes eats her babies- thus giving herself nourishment to produce another litter when circumstances are more favorable to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blue_blistering_barnacle/32/3386_2.png) [@Blue\_Blistering\_Barnacle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Blistering_Barnacle)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/38 "2016-04-27T19:53:10Z")
> [@Turpentine](#): > > I saw a nature show about this species of octopus where the mom, once she’s about to give “birth” (not really birth, but the eggs hatch in side of her so she’s viviparous), more or less allows the baby octoplings to eat her alive. Evolutionarily this benefits her because the babies are fully-formed and ready to go once they’re born, plus eating her gives them a head start. > > But yeah, for the most part, any animal mother who gives birth to small, helpless babies is not doing her genes any favors by laying down her life for them before they can survive on their own. If mouse mothers sense that that her brood is threatened, she will sometimes eats her babies- thus giving herself nourishment to produce another litter when circumstances are more favorable to do so. I don’t think any octopus parents survive the hatching of babies, at least for long. I think most just “up and die”. Males die within a few months of mating. Females brood their eggs without eating, and die shortly after hatching. Given this procreational lifestyle, providing your babies with at least one “good healthy breakfast” seems like a win-win. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2016, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822/39 "2016-04-27T20:09:57Z")
In this specific instance, I would choose myself over the unborn baby. My husband was a foster child and several of my cousins are adopted. My family embraces adoption and I would have adopted had I not been able to have children of my own. Had I not lost my husband, we had planned to apply to foster once our own two children were grown. In another scenario, when the child in question had already been born, there is no question. Child over me 100%. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-give-up-your-life-for-your-baby/752822.md?page=1)