# Would you go on vacation without your SO? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 31, 2014, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207 "2014-01-31T15:40:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/21 "2014-01-31T19:11:25Z")
I’ve done a few trips without my husband, and he’s done a few things without me. It hasn’t been a big deal. Last summer, he took the kids away for a week. While I did miss them, I also really, truly enjoyed having the house to myself for a change. Bottom line: I’m OK with it from both perspectives! ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/22 "2014-01-31T19:15:02Z")
Sure. My wife and I both travel a lot for work, so we’re not one of those couples who can’t stand to be apart. She’s gone to reunions with Peace Corps friends without me and I’ve gone camping or fishing without her. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/23 "2014-01-31T19:19:38Z")
Don’t have an SO, but if I did, I wouldn’t want to give up my solo vacations. And I would have no problem if they wanted to travel alone, just as long as we took some trips together. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/24 "2014-01-31T19:36:59Z")
Yes absolutely, I have and I would again. I’m not attached at the hip to my SOs. My last boyfriend went on a trip to China with his parents without me (I couldn’t have even if I had wanted to, and I didn’t want to). I make many vacations back to Oregon without my SOs as well, to visit family, though I’m not sure if you consider those “vacations” or not. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/25 "2014-01-31T19:40:17Z")
Definitely no. It’s not a policy or anything, but I just don’t think I’d enjoy it that much; I like traveling when my wife and kids are part of it, but if I’m going to be on my own I’d much prefer a week at home with total control over the various electronic devices 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/26 "2014-01-31T19:51:13Z")
It’s highly unlikely, at this stage in my life. I probably can’t and won’t take any vacations without my wife and son. But I’m not opposed to the idea in theory. My wife has done a Caribbean trip with some of her female friends while I stayed home with our son. IF some great opportunity came along for me to take a short trip to pursue some interests that my wife doesn’t share, I might take it. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/27 "2014-01-31T20:02:43Z")
I haven’t yet, but it would depend. The wife is going to New Zealand for a couple of weeks later this year with a group of her old school friends. I wouldn’t want to tag along on something like that. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/28 "2014-01-31T20:13:13Z")
I think there is a slight difference between planning a trip without your partner, of which many here have provided examples, and planning a trip which then one partner must cancel. In the case of a cancellation I would most likely not go. As for planning separate trips, we’ve both done short trips without each other, but a major vacation? No way. In the OP’s shoes I would’ve (and I have) brought the trip up with the new employer and tried to figure out a way to go. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/29 "2014-01-31T20:15:27Z")
That’s a good point, **Wort**. There is a big differnce between I’m going camping and we were going camping until you had to cancel. ---
**Author:** ![JacksMom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/839c29/32.png) [@JacksMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JacksMom)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/30 "2014-01-31T20:19:38Z")
My daughter (16 at the time) and I went to Ireland without the SO. We had a great time, and he would have hated most, if not all, of the things we did. I think it depends on what you like to do on vacation. I have friends that think a vacation is a fail of they don’t go out drinking (heavily) every night, possibly most of the day, too. Some people might be worried about this, but not everyone. It’s fairly common in my circle for groups of men or women to vacation together and leave the spouses at home. The girls usually make it a cruise, and the boys take a week-long fishing trip every year. It’s customary for the wives and children to join for the last two days, but not all of them go. Maintaining individual interests are healthy for the relationship, IMHO. OTOH, I would probably be pissed if my SO went on my dream vacation without me unless it was due to some unforeseen and unavoidable circumstance. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/31 "2014-01-31T20:46:33Z")
I go on week-long hiking and backpacking trips without my wife. She’s unwilling to do so, in the case of camping, and physically unable to do so, in the case of hiking. My wfie goes on cruises and trips to Disneyworld without me. I’m unwilling to do either of those two things. It’s certainly not the case that we take all of our vacations separately. During a typical year, we probably take three or four vacations together, while each of us goes on at most one or two vacations separately. If we were planning a joint vacation and my wife was forced to cancel, I wouldn’t go either. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/32 "2014-01-31T20:51:22Z")
There are still many places in the world I would like to visit during my life, and a lot of them my wife would hate. She is not a traveler, but I always have been - it is something I brought into the marriage, so she tolerates my wanderlust, with limits. Of course, we always have trips planned together. But, for me to drag her somewhere she will be uncomfortable or uninterested will wreck it for both of us. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/33 "2014-01-31T20:59:40Z")
I’ve gone on several vacations w/o **Suburban Plankton.** In each case it was family (my mom and/or sister) or girlfriends and he wasn’t really invited. It’s never been a problem. I think he’s only been on one, a week long backpacking trip at the Grand Canyon. It was a guys only thing. Again, totally wasn’t a problem. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/34 "2014-01-31T21:06:16Z")
In the situation described by the OP, I wouldn’t think twice about it. Sometimes I’ll stay over night at a friends place or she at hers. This summer my cousin and I are thinking about visiting another cousin in San Diego. :shrug: My wife and I are not joined at the hip. ---
**Author:** ![SerafinaPekala](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@SerafinaPekala](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SerafinaPekala)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/35 "2014-01-31T21:09:23Z")
Oh hell yes! Separate vacays makes a happy marriage. We do this and we’re fine with it but YMMV. Military couples learn to be independent. ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/36 "2014-01-31T21:09:32Z")
I often do a week-long bicycle tour and my wife doesn’t like to ride bikes or camp outside. However on all but three of these trips, one of my children were with me. This year I’ll be without family. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/37 "2014-01-31T21:31:25Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > Fast forward to January, my SO gets a job offer at a new company. He and I both agree that it would be a bit unseemly to take off on vacation a couple weeks after starting a new job. Was the new employer made aware of the holiday at the time of hiring? If so your SO should have no qualms about coming with you. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/38 "2014-01-31T21:35:46Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Was the new employer made aware of the holiday at the time of hiring? If so your SO should have no qualms about coming with you. I was wondering about this, too. Twice I’ve taken jobs where I had a vacation scheduled that would occur shortly after starting the new job. Both times I mentioned it when I was offered the job, but before I accepted. Neither time was there a problem. Both times the time off was without pay, but that was expected. ---
**Author:** ![Europan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Europan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Europan)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/39 "2014-01-31T21:54:56Z")
I’ve been on trips without my wife but with friends, I’m a keen WW1 battlefield buff, usually a long weekend twice a year. Likewise she goes home to her home country to visit family, Argentina, and I think its better for her to concentrate on time with them rather than bothering about me. We do make sure we take vacations for both of us as often as we can though. ---
**Author:** ![Doyle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doyle/32/439_2.png) [@Doyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doyle)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2014, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207/40 "2014-01-31T22:02:25Z")
Wives are not invited on golfing vacations. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-go-on-vacation-without-your-so/680207.md?page=3)