# Would you help a friend hide a body? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 25, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554 "2006-12-25T21:35:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![A.R.Cane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@A.R.Cane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.R.Cane)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/41 "2006-12-28T04:05:17Z")
**Shagnasty** makes some excellent points. The better question might be, “Should you ask a friend to help you hide a body?”, and the answer is probably “No”. As I related in an earlier thread, my Father is supposed to have killed a guy in the early 40’s. Short version, the guy tried to rob him, they fought and Dad left the guy that he thought was unconcious, only to find out later that the guy was dead. Several years later he told my Mother and over a decade later, she told me. It might have been better if he hadn’t told anyone, but, human nature being what it is, that’s pretty hard to do. I fairly certain that Mom never told anyone but me, not even my sibs., and my previous mention was the first time I’ve acknowledged it publically. I figure after 65+ years w/ Dad and Mom both dead, it doesn’t really matter anymore. So if you ever find yourslf in such an unfortunate situation, best to take care of things yourself and keep your mouth shut. Doesn’t work for everybody, but it’s much smarter than inviting a witness. ---
**Author:** ![Tess\_of\_the\_Derbyville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Tess\_of\_the\_Derbyville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tess_of_the_Derbyville)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/42 "2006-12-28T04:52:57Z")
I would happily help one friend hide her boyfriend’s body. In fact our whole group has promised her that we will be there at any time should she finally decide to let the skillet fall on his pointed little head. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/43 "2006-12-28T08:11:39Z")
Depends upon the body. I can think of a few people that if they wound up dead, I’d be more than happy to help hide their bodies. Remember, all that sexy CSI stuff costs _money_, so the police aren’t going to be inclined to use it on a whim. If you don’t do anything stupid, like say, hiding the body in a freezer that you keep in a storage unit you’ve rented in your name, then the odds of you not getting caught increase. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2006, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/44 "2006-12-28T08:35:46Z")
[QUOTE=JThunder] Help them hide a body? _ **NEVER!** _ Why should I? I’ve got a perfectly good wood chipper. [/QUOTE] Yeah but when the policewoman comes up and finds you there with someones legs sticking out out of your wood chipper what are you going to say? ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/45 "2006-12-31T04:16:37Z")
Yes, if I was convinced it was the right thing to do, like in “Fried Green Tomatoes”. But no, if it wasn’t that clear. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/46 "2006-12-31T04:28:44Z")
Move a body as in the _ **COMPLETELY HYPOTHETICAL STORY** _ listed above, maybe; hide a body, no. Aside from the legalities, it doesn’t fit my beliefs about the dignities human remains are entitled to, and I would be profoundly bothered by thoughts of “the body’s” mother and other loved ones, never knowing what happened to him or her. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/47 "2006-12-31T06:50:19Z")
Hmmm, interesting question. Lovely answers. Considering my brothers and my four closest friends, if any of them called me and said they needed help hiding a body, I would know: - this person _needed_ killing. - there were some damn good circumstantial reasons that prevent going to the law - if they’re calling me for help, something’s already gone wrong (aside from ending a human life) I can only think of a specific line from the movie _Body Heat_: “There’s sixty ways to fuck up a crime, and if you can think of thirty of them, you’re a fucking genius. And mister, you ain’t no fucking genius.” It makes a great story, but in real life, I would do my very best to talk them into going to the cops. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/48 "2006-12-31T08:20:39Z")
No, especially if I’m the body. Seriously, I would still have to say no, in general. A murdering friend is a scary friend, one likely to kill me if I look like I’m about to fink. Better to get the finking done right away so that the police can put him in jail as fast as possible and I don’t have to look over my shoulder every five minutes. And if the death is accidental, then the safest move is to go to the police right away. I might help a friend twist the truth about the circumstances of the death, especially if my own ass is on the line. For instance, if the body is an OD victim and I or my friend was the one who brought the stuff to the party, I might lie and say I didn’t know whose stuff it was. But I would only lie if there was no chance of the truth being found out. Yeah, I guess that means I have weak moral fiber, but at least I’m not touching a body! I would be there for my friend emotionally if I felt like they were blameless (or even if they were partially at fault), but I wouldn’t help them dispose of the actual evidence. Not under most circumstances. There are two extreme circumstances that I can conceive of where I would help hide a body:1) if I felt that going directly to the police or letting the police find the body would endanger the lives of innocents and 2)if I felt like the justice system was so evil that the friend was guaranteed not to get a fair shake. For the first, I’m thinking of a situation where a friend kills a gangster in such a way that’s easily traceable to him by the police, and the gang’s retribution would be attacks against his family once the news came out. That the victim in this kind of circumstance would almost always have to be a bad guy makes it easier to justify. For the second circumstance, I’m thinking of an oppressive society where a woman killing her husband, accidentally or otherwise, would automatically earn her a trip to the gallows. I would help a friend caught in this situation, even if I knew I might be sentenced to death if my role was found out (or least, I’m hoping I would). ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2006, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/49 "2006-12-31T17:19:02Z")
[Says it all](http://carcino.gen.nz/images/index.php/00b9a680/18a40e07) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2007, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/50 "2007-01-01T15:43:03Z")
That sounds like a suspiciously “fattist” question to me ! Would you ask a friend to help hide YOUR body Mr. Skinny? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/51 "2007-01-02T02:03:41Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] Yeah but when the policewoman comes up and finds you there with someones legs sticking out out of your wood chipper what are you going to say? [/QUOTE] “Most determined case of suicide I’ve ever seen, but at least he didn’t go feet first.” ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 8:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/52 "2007-01-02T08:43:23Z")
Depends on the body and the buddy. 😉 On who’s asking, I’m finding myself fairly certain of the outcome: For one friend, I’d tell him to call the cops and it’d be fine. My brother, tell him he’s an idiot, call the cops and it’ll _probably_ be ok. My other friend, I’d be certain there was damn good reason for things ending up that way, do I need any tools? I’d help my dad, but he’d either call me so I didn’t find out about it from the papers the next day when he turned himself in, or he’d have it all under control and he might tell me 10 years later if ever. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FordPrefect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e99b99/32.png) [@FordPrefect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordPrefect)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2007, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554/53 "2007-01-02T17:05:34Z")
[QUOTE=Shagnasty] Most bodies just aren’t that large and, if you keep it to yourself, a temporary holding location and a cool head can buy lots of time. If you are a smaller person or the victim is large, you can still use leverage, pulleys, or even garden equipment. Don’t use saws and chippers for fucks sake. It sounds good emotionally but the mess can never be cleaned up. It sounds boring but a big tarp from Home Depot and some other rather mundane equipment plus a car truck and a tank of gas and a map are all you need. Don’t speed and don’t act suspicious. Always remember, bodies change when they are decaying. A skinny 130 lb man may seem just fine to dump in some water but he will become a beach raft in a couple of days. Likewise, many animals are expert scavengers and will dig through your shallow grave like a homeless man at a KFC dumpster. Keep telling yourself that they only show the people on TV that get caught. You won’t as long as you keep a cool head. Even though you shouldn’t get people to hep you move bodies, a thread like this is a good central registry just in case. [/QUOTE] A hole in the ground, a piece of poly, and a few bags of lime. All, except the hole, available at any construction/home store. Or take up bear hunting and use the cut up body as bait. I may be inclined to help under extenuating circumstances, but those circumstances are limited. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-help-a-friend-hide-a-body/385554.md?page=2)