# Would you hire a male babysitter? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 11, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100 "2006-07-11T23:39:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/21 "2006-07-12T16:01:19Z")
[QUOTE=cuauhtemoc] A strange woman you don’t know inside and out though, that’d be just fine. As long as she has a vagina. [/QUOTE] The vagina makes is a lot easier to know her inside, you gotta grant that. ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/22 "2006-07-12T16:08:14Z")
I had a male babysitter (Tony?) a couple of times when I was a kid. Looking back, it was kind of strange. I was considered old enough and mature enough to babysit OTHER people’s kids, but my parents would get a sitter if they were going out late. Maybe they thought my younger brother wouldn’t listen to me. Anyways … I was probably 11 or 12, and I remember Tony (who was probably 14 or 15) coming into my room and talking to me … I might’ve had a bit of a crush - it was probably the first time an “older guy” had shown me any attention. I don’t remember anything inappropriate happening though. We have a daughter and I would trust a family friend to look after her, but not just some teenage guy from down the street or something. In a daycare situation though, I would be okay with a male employee. I think. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/23 "2006-07-12T21:24:28Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] My parents hired two brothers to babysit me and my brother; one or the other babysat depending on the day. One touched me inappropriately, one didn’t. There really isn’t a way to screen for this, and they both seemed like nice kids. I don’t know if this is more likely to occur with boy caretakers than girls. I’m still angry about it, I’m angry that he has probably forgotten all about it and I still have to think about it. I’m pissed I didn’t tell my parents. So I guess I don’t know what I would do, with the prospect of male or female babysitters. Chances are I won’t have kids and won’t have to deal with it. [/QUOTE] Ah, yes. I forgot that even when you say the sky is blue someone will come along with an anecdote. Sorry for the abuse you suffered. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hire a sitter based on whatever predjudice you have. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/24 "2006-07-12T23:00:07Z")
I _was_ a male babysitter for most of my adolescence. And I’m still happy to be around kids and take care of them. Of course I’d hire a male babysitter. For those who worry about a male babysitter possibly molesting your children: Do you consider the fact that, on average, a male is more likely to be able to break down a door to save your children from a fire, or frighten/fight off a burglar, or any number of other incredibly improbable situations? Focusing in on one particular (and very unlikely) bad outcome and ignoring others is awfully silly. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/25 "2006-07-12T23:26:46Z")
I _sought out_ male babysitters when I was a single mom. I felt like any quality man-time my son could get with a responsible, caring man (unlike his father) was a good thing. > [@](#): > > She’s a career (30+ years), licensed babysitter who runs a daycare business out of her house, where she watches between 10 and 15 kids at any given time. However, I would NEVER let my kid go to a home run daycare with 10 to 15 kids at any given time with only one caregiver. There’s no possible way she can give those kids the kind of care and attention I feel a pre school-age child needs. I’m shocked it’s even legal in her state - in IL, the licensing laws limit you to a child:caregiver ratio of 6:1, I believe. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/26 "2006-07-13T01:55:01Z")
[QUOTE=iamthewalrus(:3=] Do you consider the fact that, on average, a male is more likely to be able to break down a door to save your children from a fire, or frighten/fight off a burglar, or any number of other incredibly improbable situations? [/QUOTE] Interesting point. However, I guess my view is that it’s easier to take other preventive measures against situations like that (such as installing burglar alarms and making sure the house’s wiring is up to code). For preventing sex abuse, there is not much you can do other than making sure people of abusive mindsets are kept away from the kids to begin with. So, for me, trying to screen out abusers by whatever means available would take precedence. As I mentioned in my original post, I am not trying to say all guys are abusers. I know there are a lot of good guys who genuinely love kids and are harmless. However, since it does appear that most sexual abuse is committed by men, I would feel more comfortable picking a female babysitter. Even though I’m an adult, I do act a bit more cautiously with men than I do with women. Not because I think all men are bad (most of them are great people), but just because the bad ones aren’t always easy to spot. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/27 "2006-07-13T02:44:34Z")
For a short time, I had a male babysitter, and he did sexually inappropriate things to me. But this kid was too young to babysitting anyway. I think he was maybe nine or ten…and my twin and I were in the kindegarten or first grade. I think instead of seeing himself as our protector, he saw us as his playmates. I think girls at that age are more likely to take to the role of “mother hen” and not do the kind of rough-housing that their male contemporaries tend to participate in. I wouldn’t have a problem with an older boy (fourteen, fifteen) being a babysitter, but I do admit that I might be more wary of a younger boy. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/28 "2006-07-13T08:38:10Z")
Eh, one or two sexually inappropriate things happened when my next-elder sister (three years older) was left in charge of me. It’s not something I’ve ever filed under “big deal”. **lavenderviolet** , do you cross the street to avoid black people? The vast majority of black people are perfectly honest but, y’know, the majority of violent street crime is committed by people who are black. Gotta minimise those risks. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Seymour\_Gams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Seymour\_Gams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seymour_Gams)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/29 "2006-07-13T09:00:47Z")
I was never able to get a job babysitting for this reason alone. It upset me too when families I personally knew wouldn’t hire me and wouldn’t come out and blatantly say why. They were smart too because all 12 year old gay boys want is 6 year old blonde fairy princess pu… you get my point. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Seymour\_Gams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Seymour\_Gams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seymour_Gams)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/30 "2006-07-13T09:18:24Z")
On another note, when in a doctor’s waiting room or anything along those lines if a kid smiles or looks at me, I will smile back and wave. Well a lot of the time since their parents are ignoring them, they will respond well to that and eventually come up to me and start talking. I have this happen all the time and actually enjoy it because little kids are amusing especially when you are bored waiting for a doctor. More then half the time their parent will either yell at them to come back to them or walk over and literally grab their child. I completely understand when their parent makes them sit back down and apologizes that their kid was bothering me but how can I not get pissed when they grab their kid and then pay attention to them out of no where while keeping them in arm’s reach until I leave? Like I am going to rape your kid or kidnap him in the middle of a freakin’ doctor’s office. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/31 "2006-07-13T13:33:08Z")
[QUOTE=Seymour Gams] I was never able to get a job babysitting for this reason alone. It upset me too when families I personally knew wouldn’t hire me and wouldn’t come out and blatantly say why. They were smart too because all 12 year old gay boys want is 6 year old blonde fairy princess pu… you get my point. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] I do, but it’s not _quite_ the no-brainer it looks - as has been quoted on these boards before, it’s more the rule for the exception for adult males who prey on prepubescent boys to be hetero as far as adults are concerned. So there isn’t an obvious relationship between peer sex attraction and paedophile interest. If you get what I’m saying. It’s still cretinous to assume that a male of any orientation is particularly likely to molest children, though. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/32 "2006-07-13T13:38:49Z")
Never. Teenagerd males would receive an ‘over my dead boy’ reply - but this applicant was an adult - and I’d still say NO before the moment he applied. Putting children in the care of others is gambling with their safety. As any gambler knows, you look at the odds before placing a wager. Female JHS teachers nothwithstanding, the odds a male could be a pervert are vastly higher. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/33 "2006-07-13T13:39:00Z")
[QUOTE=duffer] Ah, yes. I forgot that even when you say the sky is blue someone will come along with an anecdote. Sorry for the abuse you suffered. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hire a sitter based on whatever predjudice you have. Just saying. [/QUOTE] I guess my point was more that here were two boys who both seemed like nice kids and one was abusive and one wasn’t. How would you ever screen? Even if you say you would find someone you know backwards and forwards (as spouses of abusers certainly think they do) there’s really no way to be sure. This goes for screening females as well. As far as my pesky anecdotes and prejudices go, all the sexual abuse I’ve heard about from friends and family has been male on female. Sorry if that clouds my judgment. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/34 "2006-07-13T13:44:37Z")
Why not? I am the second of 12 cousins - when the whole family got together at the public pool, I got to be in charge of “herding” half a dozen kids, unless my eldest cousin was there too. In that case the number of “herders” suddenly jumped to 4… but the number of lambs could reach as many as 40! My eldest cousin is male, I’m female, cousin number 3 male, their cousin on the other side who was herder number 4 female. Worst damage ever suffered was a couple stitches from a fall; thanks God our collective parentals didn’t think that “I fell BOOM! booboo!” was the herders’ fault. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/35 "2006-07-13T14:06:34Z")
[QUOTE=JohnBckWLD] Never. Teenagerd males would receive an ‘over my dead boy’ reply - but this applicant was an adult - and I’d still say NO before the moment he applied. Putting children in the care of others is gambling with their safety. As any gambler knows, you look at the odds before placing a wager. Female JHS teachers nothwithstanding, the odds a male could be a pervert are vastly higher. [/QUOTE] And if I said “Louise Woodward” to you, would it persuade you that there are other dangers to your little angels other than sexual assault (since you’ve convinced yourself that the danger that a woman might be guilty of _this_ is minimal)? ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/36 "2006-07-13T17:02:50Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] And if I said “Louise Woodward” to you, would it persuade you that there are other dangers to your little angels… [/QUOTE] For all I care, you could paste a list of 100 women who’ve shaken someone else’s child to death. To which I would paste male vs. female molestation statistics. But let’s not go there. There’s no analogy that would change the fact there are a handul of men I’d entrust my little _angels_ to. Having children of their own affords parents the right to discriminate when it comes to the safety of their loved ones. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/37 "2006-07-13T17:22:01Z")
[QUOTE=JohnBckWLD] For all I care, you could paste a list of 100 women who’ve shaken someone else’s child to death. To which I would paste male vs. female molestation statistics. But let’s not go there. There’s no analogy that would change the fact there are a handul of men I’d entrust my little _angels_ to. Having children of their own affords parents the right to discriminate when it comes to the safety of their loved ones. [/QUOTE] Of course. I’m merely asking why you would rate the risk of molestation so high compared to other risks. I nowhere said that you didn’t have the _right_ to discount neglect, slapping, shaking, and plain straightforward cruelty, compared to the risk that some guy _might_ be statistically more likely to put his finger somewhere where it didn’t belong, or anatomically _capable_ of doing so with his penis. I believe (no cite) that women are statistically a whole lot more likely to snatch someone else’s baby with intent to keep it as their own. I may just be guilty of the [Misleading Vividness Fallacy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misleading_vividness) here - but if I’m not, I wonder why people would consider it so dreadful that someone might touch their kiddies’ private parts, and turn a blind eye to the possibility that someone might run off with them? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/38 "2006-07-13T17:38:29Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] …Why you would rate the risk of molestation so high compared to other risks…(why) discount neglect, slapping, shaking, and plain straightforward cruelty, compared to the risk that some guy _might_ be statistically more likely to put his finger somewhere where it didn’t belong, or anatomically _capable_ of doing so with his penis… [/QUOTE] Putting your children in the care of other strangers is always a crapshoot. I wouldn’t discount the non-sexual abuse you inquired about as much as I would say they’re _probably_ a whole lot less damaging to a child. It’s a numbers game, cut-n-dry. Call it testosterone-phobia if you wish - but I ain’t plunkin’ down my kids well-being on boxcars. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/39 "2006-07-13T18:06:04Z")
i remmeber hearing some comedian joke to the effect that if you hire a teenaged male babysitter, his babysitting gig will become one long search for porn. At which point I thought about it and realized that, yes, if I ever babysat anyone as a teenager I would scavange that hous for any porn I could find. 😃 Of course, in these days of the internet and teenage boys all having their own computers and such, that’s much less of an issue. And still jsut a joke at that, so if I were to ever have kids, I would not factor gender into the equation at all. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100/40 "2006-07-13T18:15:45Z")
Incidentally, this: [QUOTE=Malacandra] your little angels [/QUOTE] was assholish. Sorry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-hire-a-male-babysitter/364100.md?page=3)