# Would you join Satan and 1/3 of the angels?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [April 20, 2014, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534 "2014-04-20T07:50:14Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/1 "2014-04-20T07:50:14Z")
Say the worst things you’ve heard about God are true and the best things you’ve heard about Satan are true. If Satan rebelled against God and as an angel you knew the eventual penalty would be eternal torment would you continue worshipping and serving God or would you join Satan? So in this example the existence of God is a fact.
BTW I think to join Satan based on moral reasoning would involve a greater sacrifice than what Jesus made. After all Jesus only suffered for a few days at the most and it resulted in a permanent difference to the world but you’d be suffering for an eternity to make a temporary difference.
---
### Author:  [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/2 "2014-04-20T07:55:45Z")
Hah trick question, there is no god.
---
### Author:  [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/3 "2014-04-20T07:58:30Z")
Let’s pretend the story in the Bible is real and an all-powerful God exists that likes sacrifices and demands worship, etc.
---
### Author:  [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/4 "2014-04-20T08:26:35Z")
> [@JohnClay](#):
>
> Let’s pretend the story in the Bible is real and an all-powerful God exists that likes sacrifices and demands worship, etc.
Ooh, I like pretending! But let’s not choose the Bible – too much of a downer ending, with an empty unfulfilled promise where God says he’s soon returning, but never does.
How about _2001: A Space Odyssey_ instead? I’ve always wanted to own an evil talking computer.
---
### Author:  [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/5 "2014-04-20T08:53:04Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#):
>
> Ooh, I like pretending! But let’s not choose the Bible – too much of a downer ending, with an empty unfulfilled promise where God says he’s soon returning, but never does.
You must of gotten the ending mixed up from some other book. See:
[http://www.thebricktestament.com/revelation/index.html](http://www.thebricktestament.com/revelation/index.html)
BTW remember that a 1000 years is like one day to God so 2000+ years isn’t that long.
> [@](#):
>
> How about _2001: A Space Odyssey_ instead? I’ve always wanted to own an evil talking computer.
No. So what is the problem? Are you embarrassed about your choice?
---
### Author:  [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/6 "2014-04-20T08:57:05Z")
Edit: I guess some of the ending is a downer - if you aren’t on God’s team that is. Otherwise it shows that God finally wins and makes all of the rebels suffer.
---
### Author:  [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/7 "2014-04-20T10:21:15Z")
If you choose to join a side is it really a sacrifice?
Can we invite other Gods? Greek gods were kinda freaky and Norse gods as well…
---
### Author:  [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/8 "2014-04-20T10:33:23Z")
> [@Boogly](#):
>
> If you choose to join a side is it really a sacrifice?
If you’re not a worshipper you would be considered a rebel.
> [@](#):
>
> Can we invite other Gods? Greek gods were kinda freaky and Norse gods as well…
According to the Bible they’re false gods. Maybe the stories were actually started demons or fallen angels or something. Anyway those false gods are nowhere near as powerful as the Creator God.
---
### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/9 "2014-04-20T10:56:26Z")
I’m following the strippers and blow. Plus, I’m pretty sure my cats are spawns of Satan, so there’s that. (Miss my dogs though)
---
### Author:  [@Boogly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boogly)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/10 "2014-04-20T11:02:06Z")
Exodus 20:3 Thou shalt not have any other gods before me.
So there are more than 2 Gods.
Creater God is also a jealous god which would lead me to believe there are other Gods to be jealous of.
What version of the Bible are you using? Can we use ‘lost’ books or texts?
---
### Author:  [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/11 "2014-04-20T11:03:24Z")
God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent.
God created the angels and Satan himself.
On a whim, God could delete them all from existence, and I don’t just mean this one, I mean erased the \*\*\*\* from all history, everywhere, in every conceivable timeline.
Satan has absolutely zero powers God didn’t grant and can remove instantly.
This is why God is the actual villain of the story.
But it’s a very poorly written story, because the villain always wins and there’s literally no hope of stopping such a villain, which renders all life meaningless and void.
Part of why I don’t believe in this silly tale.
---
### Author:  [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 11:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/12 "2014-04-20T11:13:21Z")
> [@JohnClay](#):
>
> . . . God finally wins and makes all of the rebels suffer.
In order to avoid being a “rebel,” I’d have to turn off my brain and denounce everything I believe to be true. That is exactly why it’s a downer.
---
### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/13 "2014-04-20T12:04:05Z")
Sure, I’d take a crack at being a minion.
---
### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/14 "2014-04-20T13:34:35Z")
Would I? In a metaphorical heartbeat. Perhaps my individual effort would have been enough to tip the balance and overthrow the despot.
If not, at least I could know that I was being tortured for all eternity for having made my best effort, as a direct result of my opposition to the dictator, and not just because of one of His capricious whims.
It is better to strive and fail than to meekly accept totalitarianism.
---
### Author:  [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/15 "2014-04-20T13:58:11Z")
Let’s look at Satan/Lucifer/Devil’s (alleged) history since history is only written by the victor, we’ll have to use the Bible for reference.
1. Satan “tempted” humankind to think for themselves in the Garden of Eden. Thinking for yourself seems to be a good thing.
2. Satan hasn’t proved himself to be a homicidal maniac who needs a rainbow to remind man that he won’t kill everyone again (until he tries to kill everyone again during the rapture…so the rainbow is a bit moot).
3. Satan didn’t create the lake of fire, he was put into it by a “loving” god whose love must be very fickle that he can’t handle any disagreements.
4. Satan didn’t kill his son to remove an alleged sin that could’ve just been removed by his omnipotence.
---
### Author:  [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/16 "2014-04-20T13:59:58Z")
Nah, the winning side gets the good stuff and none of the “worst things” really suggest that the rank and file in Heaven are all that unhappy. Besides, anyone who thinks that Satan would have run Heaven as some benevolent democracy or something is fooling themselves.
I’ll stick with the 66%.
---
### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/17 "2014-04-20T14:32:53Z")
At this time we have no idea what triggered Lucifer’s revolt. The only records we have are from the victor. It is impossible to determine that motivations and beliefs of the rebels if they are not given a voice.
The list of crimes against humanity we have for YHWH is long enough, and these are taken directly from His official, authorized Scripture. I can only image the things he had done or allowed to happen which He felt should not be included in the Bible, if He was proud enough of the slaughters He did allow to be recorded.
---
### Author:  [@ThisUsernameIsForbidden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisUsernameIsForbidden)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/18 "2014-04-20T15:08:35Z")
An eternity of torment is a long time.
---
### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/19 "2014-04-20T15:21:06Z")
> [@ThisUsernameIsForbidden](#):
>
> An eternity of torment is a long time.
But time flies when you’re having fun!
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Kobayashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Kobayashi)
#### Post date: [April 20, 2014, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534/20 "2014-04-20T15:31:38Z")
Adonai has the guns and the numbers; 2/3rds of the angels are still aligned with him as will be the majority of humans, for what they’re worth. While ‘non serviam’ is a motto I can get behind opposing a power that can turn you into a pillar of salt or set bears on you on a whim is not where the smart money is.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-join-satan-and-1-3-of-the-angels/686534.md?page=2)