# Would you let your 4 year old son wear a Snow White dress for Halloween? I wouldn't.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [August 24, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243 "2010-08-24T03:18:57Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/21 "2010-08-24T04:33:39Z")

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> [@Chessic\_Sense](#):
>
> Gender roles are good things. I don’t know about your kids, but my boys will be boys and my girls will be girls. That way, when they grow up, they’ll act like normal people and your kids will be freaks.

What’s so great about gender roles? I’d rather have kids who accept people for who they are than kids who rigidly adhere to gender roles regardless of how they personally feel about them. At least they’re less likely to think that beating on the queer is funny.

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/22 "2010-08-24T04:43:07Z")

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I would make sure to explain to him that there are some folks who would make fun of him for it, but I would also make sure that he knew that I’m not one of them, and let him make an informed decision from there.

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**Author:** ![Condescending\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a183cd/32.png) [@Condescending\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Condescending_Robot)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/23 "2010-08-24T04:43:16Z")

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> [@Oregon\_sunshine](#):
>
> Many parents’ “guidance” is well-meaning but ultimately harmful to gender-variant people. Maybe you should never have a transgender child. 🙂

He’s four.

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**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/24 "2010-08-24T04:58:45Z")

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Uh, it’s for Halloween.

You know, the day when people dress up in outlandish costumes?

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**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/25 "2010-08-24T05:08:03Z")

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My sisters and I used to dress our brother in our dresses for the fun of it when he was 2. He didn’t complain, mostly because he was the baby, and outnumbered 4:1. He seems to have turned out OK.

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**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/26 "2010-08-24T05:10:32Z")

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> [@Condescending\_Robot](#):
>
> > [@Oregon\_sunshine](#):
> >
> > Many parents’ “guidance” is well-meaning but ultimately harmful to gender-variant people. Maybe you should never have a transgender child. 🙂
> 
> He’s four.

Your point?

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**Author:** ![multimediac17](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/839c29/32.png) [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/27 "2010-08-24T05:15:52Z")

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> [@Chessic\_Sense](#):
>
> Gender roles are good things. I don’t know about your kids, but my boys will be boys and my girls will be girls. That way, when they grow up, they’ll act like normal people and your kids will be freaks.

It’s almost funny that you think you could somehow stamp out hypothetical transgender-ness in your children by pointing them towards gender roles. Good luck with them acting like “normal people” when they grow up.

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**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/28 "2010-08-24T05:20:34Z")

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I grew up to be gay, so that may be a freak in some people’s book…but I liked playing the female part during ‘pretend’ or at Halloween sometimes when I was a kid. Still grew up to be definitely male. It’s called being a kid and pretending to be something you aren’t on occasion.

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**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/29 "2010-08-24T05:20:37Z")

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> [@multimediac17](#):
>
> > [@Chessic\_Sense](#):
> >
> > Gender roles are good things. I don’t know about your kids, but my boys will be boys and my girls will be girls. That way, when they grow up, they’ll act like normal people and your kids will be freaks.
> 
> It’s almost funny that you think you could somehow stamp out hypothetical transgender-ness in your children by pointing them towards gender roles. Good luck with them acting like “normal people” when they grow up.

Exactly. My idea of “normal” people are those who live and are who they are. I will never fathom why people object to other folks doing things that don’t hurt anyone else.

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**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/30 "2010-08-24T05:39:13Z")

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I still remember one day at high school when a guy I knew went around dressed in drag all day. It was brilliant.

IIRC, it was October 31st.

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/31 "2010-08-24T05:41:58Z")

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What a tempest in a tea pot, all this bother about the possibility of a child catching teh gay by wearing a costume. Let the little nipper wear what he wants.

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**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/32 "2010-08-24T05:44:03Z")

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I’ve seen plenty of grown-ass hetero non-trans manly men who like to dress up as women on Halloween (or other costume events) because it’s fun. So if it’s okay for an an adult, why is it not okay for a kid who’s supposed to be having fun? This whole idea seems a bit warped to me.

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**Author:** ![Hedda\_Rosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hedda_rosa/32/1204_2.png) [@Hedda\_Rosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hedda_Rosa)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/33 "2010-08-24T06:38:14Z")

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What is so wrong with a kid in a little bit of drag - fratboys do it all the time…

Anyway I think that 4 year old boys wanting to dress up in princess costumes is normal. My daughter had a best friend, a boy, when she was 4 and every time he came to visit, he’d head straight for the dress-ups box and put on his purple princess dress. My daughter got so she wouldn’t even wear it when he wasn’t there because that was _his_ dress.

Would I let my son, now 5 wear a dress? Yes. Last year he wore his sister’s pants to school, pants with big cabbage roses on them. When I asked him why he chose those pants he said, quite logically, “well, it is spring.” Indeed.

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**Author:** ![Condescending\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a183cd/32.png) [@Condescending\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Condescending_Robot)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/34 "2010-08-24T07:35:40Z")

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> [@evilbeth](#):
>
> > [@Condescending\_Robot](#):
> >
> > He’s four.
> 
> Your point?

He’s not “transgender” or “gender-variant.” He is, as was pointed out earlier, too young for his cohorts to care about gender-stereotypical clothing, and interested in dressing up as a character. Forcing some notion of sexuality on a four-year-old based on that is ridiculous.

He may turn out to be whatever when he grows up, but right now it’s just using a child as a political prop to claim that this is about anyone’s gender identity.

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**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/35 "2010-08-24T07:36:19Z")

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> [@Bosstone](#):
>
> I still remember one day at high school when a guy I knew went around dressed in drag all day. It was brilliant.
> 
> IIRC, it was October 31st.

Yeah, I knew a guy who did the same thing. He was straight to the best of my knowledge. He got a lot of attention from the girls. They were fondling fake his fake breasts and so forth.

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**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/36 "2010-08-24T07:58:11Z")

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When I was in kindergarten the school had a costume contest for Halloween. I told my mother I wanted to be a witch (I am male). My mother (an artist) didn’t give me any argument, and began to design a costume that we could create together.

I won first prize, and I don’t remember anyone giving me any grief.

I did turn out to be gay, but . . . .

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**Author:** ![wolf-alice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9e8a1a/32.png) [@wolf-alice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf-alice)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/37 "2010-08-24T11:04:35Z")

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I would. I agree with **matt\_mcl** on, well, everything, and those quotes are adorable. That’s what should happen, right there.

**Obligatory Childhood Cross-Dressing Story** : My cousin spent one Christmas twirling a fairy wand, resplendent in wings made from curtains, and if family photos are anything to go by my brother spent his entire childhood buck-naked save chandelier earrings. No-one took the piss. If someone takes the piss out of a four year old, you tell them it’s not acceptable. No more problem.

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**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/38 "2010-08-24T11:32:08Z")

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There must be something hideously unnatural about masculinity if the only way you can get people to manifest it is to stomp out any behavior that doesn’t correspond to it starting with the earliest opportunity.

[QUOTE=Chessic Sense]  
Gender roles are good things.  
[/quote]

Cite?

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**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/39 "2010-08-24T11:51:39Z")

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We have a 7 y.o. son. There’s no way in hell I would let him wear a Snow White dress for Halloween. Or any dress for that matter.

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**Author:** ![GHO57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/df788c/32.png) [@GHO57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GHO57)\
**Post date:** [August 24, 2010, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-4-year-old-son-wear-a-snow-white-dress-for-halloween-i-wouldnt/551243/40 "2010-08-24T12:08:35Z")

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Of course not. He’d be R2D2 or it’s back to the basement with him.

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