# Would You Let Your Child Pick His/Her Own Religion **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 20, 2010, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178 "2010-03-20T22:38:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/61 "2010-03-22T18:49:11Z")
I’d even give her a ride - in fact I’d probably go with her. The only way I’d try to talk her out of it is if it’s one of those “Fundamentalist” religions which greatly restrict the role of women. If she decides to limit her life to her household when she’s 30, then OK. But if she tries to make that decision when she’s 15 we’re gonna have words. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/62 "2010-03-23T02:29:59Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > Just to ask: or else…? Or else I’d ask them to prove it. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/63 "2010-03-23T08:25:18Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Or else I’d ask them to prove it. And that forces them not to believe how? As for me, I think there’s a difference between forcing your kids to believe and raising them in what you believe. The former is bad, the latter good. Kids respond unfavorably if they feel they are being forced into something. So even though I think I’m right, I would do my best not to force the issue. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/64 "2010-03-23T15:22:02Z")
First off, I would not commit child abuse by dragging a child under 18 into a church. If they wanted to go to a church, I would explain to them that churches are part of a religion and religion is a lie. If they still wanted to go, that would be their problem. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/65 "2010-03-23T17:29:45Z")
> [@congodwarf](#): > > I will make sure that my children learn the basics of all major religions even if they aren’t believers simply because you can’t make an informed decision if you’re ignorant of the beliefs. I pushed this (learning the fundamentals, as it were) not only because it would help them make informed decisions, but because the history of religion gives great insight into the history of mankind. For good or for evil, they are very closely intertwined (please, if you respond to that last sentence, remember that we’re in IMHO, not GD). ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/66 "2010-03-23T18:49:49Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > And that forces them not to believe how? > > As for me, I think there’s a difference between forcing your kids to believe and raising them in what you believe. The former is bad, the latter good. Kids respond unfavorably if they feel they are being forced into something. So even though I think I’m right, I would do my best not to force the issue. Because they cannot prove it. I’m confident in my debates against religious people in general. It can’t fail against a little kid. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/67 "2010-03-23T19:26:36Z")
Well, I’m Baha’i, my husband is an atheist. Our oldest daughter, **TheThreadPirateRoberts** is whatever she says she is right now, not really sure; she made her Baha’i declaration when she was 15, but since, has been Christian, Wiccan, and I’m not sure what else. She’s 22YO. Our middle daughter **EtherealFreakOfPinkness** is Baha’i. My youngest daughter, **mudgirl** proudly proclaims herself to be “half Christian, half Baha’i”. It’s all OK. In the Baha’i faith, you can’t _really_ be Baha’i (meaning to be beholden to all the rules, etc) until you’re 15, anyway. When you are 15, you can make your declaration, which means you sign a card that says “I am Baha’i, and will try to fulfill my obligations as such”, and then send the card into the National Spiritual Assembly. Then you’re ‘on the roles’ as being Baha’i. But one of the _major_ tenets of our faith is that there is _no_ ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ religion. They are different paths to the same God. So, **mudgirl** goes to a Christian church on Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings, I’m guessing because she likes the fellowship there. But if she decided tomorrow she wanted to be Jewish, Hindu, or atheist, I’d be cool with that, too. I don’t think that atheists can ‘choose’ to believe in a higher power any more than a theist (like me) can choose to _not_ believe in one. It is what it is. If she wanted to join a cult, or if she wanted to practice her chosen religion in a way that interferes with the household, we’d have to have words about it. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/68 "2010-03-24T02:48:16Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Because they cannot prove it. I’m confident in my debates against religious people in general. It can’t fail against a little kid. So how many Christians have you converted? You might think you’ve won every argument, but if they walk away from the argument still believing in God, you haven’t changed anything. Fact is, you can’t make your kid be an atheist. You can teach them, you can indoctrinate them, you can shame and belittle them, you can scream and threaten them, but you can’t make them believe anything. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/69 "2010-03-24T02:56:34Z")
My dad is a minister and he still let me choose - I ended up being an agnostic. I owe my (as yet nonexistent) children the ability to make that same choice, regardless of what they end up choosing. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/70 "2010-03-24T11:16:48Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > First off, I would not commit child abuse by dragging a child under 18 into a church. If they wanted to go to a church, I would explain to them that churches are part of a religion and religion is a lie. If they still wanted to go, that would be their problem. You know you’re completely, absolutely predictable, right? I knew this post was coming (although I’m a bit surprised that it took so long), and I knew exactly what it would say, right down to the “child abuse” bit. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/71 "2010-03-24T11:46:20Z")
> [@Saintly\_Loser](#): > > Looks like I’m the lone vote for “No, He/She Should Worship In The Faith I Brought Him Up IN” so far. > > I chose this option because I believe the faith I practice to be _true_ (or at least the most true among religions – I have no illusions that my church is perfect). I believe that I would be doing my child (hypothetical but hoped-for at this point) a disservice were I to communicate to him or her that it was just one among many, or even several, that were all equally true. > > Of course, when that child is no longer a child, all bets are off, and that child may come to a decision that he or she doesn not believe that faith to be true. This would not affect my relationship with my child – an adult is of course free to make religious decisions. I would only hope that I’d raised my child so that he or she had a well-developed conscience and an equally well-developed intellect. Same here. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/72 "2010-03-24T20:15:51Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > So how many Christians have you converted? You might think you’ve won every argument, but if they walk away from the argument still believing in God, you haven’t changed anything. > > Fact is, you can’t make your kid be an atheist. You can teach them, you can indoctrinate them, you can shame and belittle them, you can scream and threaten them, but you can’t make them believe anything. It’s easier to argue against someone who hasn’t got a head full of lies already from decades of Christian indoctrination. You really think it’s impossible to convince a kid you’re right if you use facts and reason? It may not work on everybody, but don’t assume parents have no way of influencing their children’s beliefs. And that’s what I plan to do, influence them in a way to make them dislike religion. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/73 "2010-03-24T20:59:58Z")
[Moderator Note]Please try to remember that this is a poll, not a religious debate. If you wish to discuss how you voted, go right ahead, but if you wish to debate, take it to Great Debates. Thank you.[/Moderator Note] ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/74 "2010-03-26T19:10:14Z")
I am letting my children choose, as my mother did, as her mother before did before for her. I don’t know about her mother, but I know her father was Catholic and her mother was not. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2010, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178/75 "2010-03-26T23:44:37Z")
> [@C3](#): > > I’m a Unitarian Universalist Atheist. Whatever my kids decide they are is fine, but I really, really, really hope it’s not Fundamentalist Christian. My six year old, though, has a great admiration for vengeful gods, so I’m not holding out much hope for him. Are you me? I could have written this post, if you change six-year-old to seven-year-old. 🙂 When you say child, what ages do you mean? Obviously you cannot force someone to believe in something, and once they are an adult, you can’t force them to go to church any more. I attend at our local UU church regularly and the kids go with me. If they choose another religion when they are older, that’s fine by me, but I would like to be able to attend services with them once in a while; on the other hand I wouldn’t want to have to drive them somewhere else every Sunday - but that could be because I’m not used to having teenagers yet; I imagine a large part of being the parent of a teenager is driving them places. Obviously I tell my kids, if they ask, that I’m an atheist and there is no God. They can decide for themselves later on if they agree with that or not. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-child-pick-his-her-own-religion/533178.md?page=3)