# Would You Let Your Teenager Go To A Hotel With Their Partner Overnight? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 30, 2016, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449 "2016-08-30T00:36:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/41 "2016-09-07T01:41:49Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > No, I wouldn’t. Not as long as he’s still in high school. Once college starts, and he effectively lives elsewhere, then he can do what he wants. > > One of the weird things about this board is its odd permissiveness over teenage sex. Sure, it happens, but you don’t encourage it, or it’ll happen more. > > Most of the problems with them having sex with older people are still there–the wild hormones that lead to bad decisions with long term consequences. I agree with this. A parent can be realistic and realize that his or her teenage child is likely having sex, but you don’t actively support it. Would you buy them a bottle of whiskey or a dime bag because they are going to do it anyways? ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/42 "2016-09-07T03:21:27Z")
A game of hide the salami, where the participants are educated in prevention is difficult to compare with encouraging booze and drugs. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/43 "2016-09-07T12:01:28Z")
When I found out that a friend let her then teenage son and girlfriend spend the night in his bedroom, I nearly fainted. My friend’s rationale was that it was safer and more comfortable than the back seat of her son’s car. My friend has never struck me as being a permissive sort, but there you go. ---
**Author:** ![storyteller0910](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecae2f/32.png) [@storyteller0910](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/storyteller0910)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/44 "2016-09-07T14:42:34Z")
> [@UltraVires](#): > > I agree with this. A parent can be realistic and realize that his or her teenage child is likely having sex, but you don’t actively support it. Asked in perfect seriousness: why not? My parents were pretty actively supportive, as you seem to be defining it, when it came to sex. Both didn’t just “realize” that I would eventually be having sex; they recognized that it was a _good thing_, provided it was done responsibly and intelligently and with emotional maturity. AND, because they didn’t sound like irrational lunatics on the subject, I was much more inclined to listen to the things they had to say about responsibility and intelligence and emotional maturity than I would have been if they didn’t “actively support” it. End result: had my first sex at 21 years of age, to the women who I later married and to whom I have been married since. Couldn’t be happier. Tell me the downside. > [@](#): > > Would you buy them a bottle of whiskey or a dime bag because they are going to do it anyways? This is a poor analogy. It would be illegal for my 18-year-old child to consume alcohol or pot, and seriously illegal for me to provide it. That introduces a bunch of complications and while I won’t encourage my voting adult children to avoid sex, I will encourage them to avoid breaking the law (and certainly to avoid implicating others in lawbreaking!). ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/45 "2016-09-07T15:08:47Z")
I think I would be more uncomfortable with it if they just went to the nearby city with the sole purpose of getting a hotel room for the weekend, rather than they travelled out of town for an event, and stayed in a hotel together while they were there. Either way, if they are old enough and responsible enough to travel out of town for the weekend, then sharing a hotel room is not a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![ultimate11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/49beb7/32.png) [@ultimate11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultimate11)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/46 "2016-09-07T15:13:10Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > The majority have an 18 year old minimum. Some hotels have a 21 year old minimum. Holiday Inn is a perfectly respectable chain, and its 18. Hilton is respectable - 18. > > Now, an individual location might bump up the age. Ft. Lauderdale hotels might have a minimum 25 age over Spring Break for instance. Minimum age _25_? And I thought my minimum age restrictions were over by the time I was 21! (FYI, I’m that age now, turning 22 on the 25th. Coincidentally, it’s on the same weekday as my birthday (in 1994), Sunday.) At any rate, if you haven’t told your kids about sex yet, tell him already before he gets to it. And tell him that abstinence is not sex education- in my high school (Lyons Township, specifically my sophomore year in South Campus at Willow Springs), they preached that, and that’s the wrong way of learning. ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/47 "2016-09-07T18:48:57Z")
The potential sex situation I wouldn’t be as worried about as the traveling out of town alone, unsupervised. But really by 17 it’s not that scary for me. My daughter traveled alone by bus across two states at 17. It would surely depend on the teen. ---
**Author:** ![Chihuahua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dec6dc/32.png) [@Chihuahua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chihuahua)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2016, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/48 "2016-09-07T18:53:05Z")
\*\*Would You Let Your Teenager Go To A Hotel With Their Partner Overnight? \*\* NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE BIG HUGE CAN FULLA NOPE ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2016, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449/49 "2016-09-08T23:50:31Z")
> [@brainstall](#): > > I think I would be more uncomfortable with it if they just went to the nearby city with the sole purpose of getting a hotel room for the weekend, rather than they travelled out of town for an event, and stayed in a hotel together while they were there. > > Either way, if they are old enough and responsible enough to travel out of town for the weekend, then sharing a hotel room is not a big deal. Well not for nothing, they did go to a couple of museums and attractions. So B tells me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-let-your-teenager-go-to-a-hotel-with-their-partner-overnight/764449.md?page=2)