# Would you literally kiss my ass for $1,000 in cash (or the equivlent in pounds)? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 24, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978 "2008-09-24T13:54:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/1 "2008-09-24T13:54:32Z")
It would have to be a 5 second kiss (on either bare cheek) with full contact of both lips. If this were real, would you take advantage of this exciting offer if it was done in private and nobody would ever find out afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/2 "2008-09-24T14:05:01Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > It would have to be a 5 second kiss (on either bare cheek) with full contact of both lips. > > If this were real, would you take advantage of this exciting offer if it was done in private and nobody would ever find out afterwards? Hmmm… mouthwash and alcohol are pretty cheap these days… But my self-respect is not. I’d have to decline until we started talking six figures (I can always hire a good therapist at that point!) ---
**Author:** ![Renee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/renee/32/287_2.png) [@Renee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Renee)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/3 "2008-09-24T14:05:56Z")
Absolutely. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/4 "2008-09-24T14:10:30Z")
It depends. Is this done in private or in the middle of a busy street? For $1000 I’ll kiss your ass if nobody else knows about it. For $10,000 I’ll kiss your ass and you can tell people I did it, but no pictures. For $100,000 you can take pictures. For $1,000,000 you can film it, put it on Youtube, and I’ll wear a T-shirt every weekend for a month with a picture of me doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/5 "2008-09-24T14:11:09Z")
Hells yeah. Anytime, anyplace. No need for privacy - in fact I wouldn’t object to a line forming of individuals with cash in hand. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/6 "2008-09-24T14:13:34Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > It depends. Is this done in private or in the middle of a busy street? As I said in the OP, it would be done in private and nobody would ever know. So, I guess 1,000, then? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/7 "2008-09-24T14:15:37Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > It would have to be a 5 second kiss (on either bare cheek) with full contact of both lips. > > If this were real, would you take advantage of this exciting offer if it was done in private and nobody would ever find out afterwards? Depends: how recently have you showered vs. how recently have you taken a dump ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/8 "2008-09-24T14:17:39Z")
If it’s just \*on \*the cheek, and not \*in between \*the cheeks, and no one is going to know about it, sure. With the condition that your cheeks are clean. You can’t spread shit all over them just before I go in for the kill. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/9 "2008-09-24T14:18:00Z")
ON the cheek? Sure. 'Tween the cheeks? Oh, hells no! ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/10 "2008-09-24T14:23:06Z")
Yeah, guys…just ON a cheek, heh. A clean, freshly-washed cheek. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/11 "2008-09-24T14:31:10Z")
Put the money on the table first. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/12 "2008-09-24T14:36:16Z")
I misread the OP and thought it was an offer to kick your ass. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/13 "2008-09-24T14:39:50Z")
I definitely would, on the cheek. Not between the cheeks tho. I don’t care about privacy. We can do it on TV as long as I gets paid! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/14 "2008-09-24T14:41:54Z")
Ass cheek? Sure. ---
**Author:** ![CutterJohn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@CutterJohn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CutterJohn)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/15 "2008-09-24T14:50:36Z")
I would without hesitation. Hell, my job is more unpleasant than that would be, and I do that for $15 an hour. Tbh, I’d be willing to go a lot further for that $1000. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/16 "2008-09-24T14:52:12Z")
M/F? I don’t need the buxx _that_ bad. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/17 "2008-09-24T14:53:05Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > It would have to be a 5 second kiss (on either bare cheek) with full contact of both lips. > > If this were real, would you take advantage of this exciting offer if it was done in private and nobody would ever find out afterwards? A thousand bucks isn’t quite enough. I wouldn’t need six figures, but once we start talking about money that could pay for a couple of mortgage payments (about 3500 total) I would start considering it. For five grand I’d do it in private where nobody would find out. For 15 or 20 grand I’d consider doing it in public. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/18 "2008-09-24T14:54:40Z")
Are you in Flagstaff or Phoenix? If I have to pay for gas, that would make a difference. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/19 "2008-09-24T14:55:26Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > $1,000 in cash (or the equivlent in pounds)? I would not kiss your arse for £3.47. Throw in a candy bar and I’d consider it. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/20 "2008-09-24T14:55:39Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > It depends. Is this done in private or in the middle of a busy street? > > For $1000 I’ll kiss your ass if nobody else knows about it. > > For $10,000 I’ll kiss your ass and you can tell people I did it, but no pictures. > > For $100,000 you can take pictures. > > For $1,000,000 you can film it, put it on Youtube, and I’ll wear a T-shirt every weekend for a month with a picture of me doing it. I can beat **RickJay** ’s prices on these services… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978.md?page=2)