# Would you literally kiss my ass for $1,000 in cash (or the equivlent in pounds)? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 24, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978 "2008-09-24T13:54:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/21 "2008-09-24T14:56:53Z")
Guy walks up to a girl in a bar and says, “If I gave you a million dollars to spend however you wanted – clothes, cars, charity, anything – would you sleep with me?” The girl thinks for a minute and says, “Yeah. I could do a lot with a million dollars.” The guy says, “If I gave you a hundred dollars, would you sleep with me?” The girl says, “No! What kind of girl do you think I am?” The guy says, “We’ve already established what kind of girl you are, now we’re just haggling over the price.” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/22 "2008-09-24T14:57:05Z")
I don’t need the $1000 (though it would pay for our airfare home for christmas this year) but sure. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/23 "2008-09-24T14:59:51Z")
I’d probably do it for a beer if you’re clean and asked really nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/24 "2008-09-24T15:00:44Z")
You guys are cracking me up. No one said anything about between the cheeks! That is tickling me so much that he keeps stressing just on a fresh scrubbed cheek, and you guys keep stressing shit-smeared, between the cheek action. I think this is a really good question. I know people set up scenarios like this all the time, but I never fail to find it interesting. I can make a thousand dollars in a week. If I really, really try, and put my nose to the grind at work, I can do it. So it’s not really necessary to gross myself out, or sell out my self respect for it, for a one time pay off of 1 grand. But that brings me to what RickJay said…1 million is a whole different animal. I can’t hustle that up in a week, no matter how hard I grind. So if I am willing to do it for a million, (and I shamefully admit, I am pretty sure I would), then why not for a grand? I mean, really, how am I any better than anyone that would do it for even 10 bucks? Again, I am not willing to do it for a grand, but can I really claim any kind of moral highground for that? ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/25 "2008-09-24T15:01:16Z")
If you pay me a grand to kiss you on the ass, you got ripped. I would have done it for half that. I probably would have done it for a drink after last call. ---
**Author:** ![Influential\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/26 "2008-09-24T15:02:47Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > I’d probably do it for a beer if you’re clean and asked really nicely. Five seconds is an awfully long time. Make it a six pack. ---
**Author:** ![TheFifthYear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@TheFifthYear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFifthYear)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/27 "2008-09-24T15:06:06Z")
I’ll be honest. On the cheeks? I’d do it for $100. I mean, who cares? Between the cheeks is a different story, but even then my price probably isn’t as high as it should be. I don’t have too many hangups about bodies. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/28 "2008-09-24T15:09:32Z")
Just for the record, I’m male. I’m amused how many are equating it to “between” as well. Who said anything about that? Just on an ass cheek. : D That’s good enough. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/29 "2008-09-24T15:13:18Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Just for the record, I’m male. > > I’m amused how many are equating it to “between” as well. Who said anything about that? Just on an ass cheek. : D That’s good enough. I knew you were male. If you were a woman I’d buy YOU the beer. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/30 "2008-09-24T15:18:23Z")
Ass cheek, after I’d used an alcohol wipe to clean the surface? Why the Hell not? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/31 "2008-09-24T15:18:58Z")
I would but I would cheat. I would use some of those Halloween wax lips. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/32 "2008-09-24T15:19:31Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I can beat **RickJay** ’s prices on these services… By how much? To the OP: I play rugby. I’ve done much worse, accidentally and purposefully, with nary a reward. I’d probably do it for $100, but I’d ask for $500. Well, technically $110 and $510, so I can buy a six-pack first. Four for me and two for you. But you owe me a couple beers anyway, so, yeah, $100 and $500. But, will you please shave it first? 😛😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/33 "2008-09-24T15:33:10Z")
Yup, I’d do it for the stated price. I mean really people, it’s just skin. I bet the back of a person’s hand is dirtier than their asscheek, and I don’t think anyone would have a problem with kissing someone’s hand. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/34 "2008-09-24T15:37:05Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I misread the OP and thought it was an offer to kick your ass. Same here. ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/35 "2008-09-24T15:53:01Z")
I get money _and_ I get to kiss **Idle Thoughts** ’s ass? I’m not seeing the downside. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/36 "2008-09-24T15:54:22Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > It would have to be a 5 second kiss (on either bare cheek) with full contact of both lips. > > If this were real, would you take advantage of this exciting offer if it was done in private and nobody would ever find out afterwards? I’d do it in town square with a flood light and a DJ to warm up the crowd. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/37 "2008-09-24T15:58:39Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > You guys are cracking me up. No one said anything about between the cheeks! That is tickling me so much that he keeps stressing just on a fresh scrubbed cheek, and you guys keep stressing shit-smeared, between the cheek action. You say pessimist, I say realist. 😉 Some of us have gotten used to looking for the fine print. Especially the fine print written in invisible ink. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/38 "2008-09-24T16:00:09Z")
Hell, where do I sign up? What’s the big deal? You got the $1000? For that price I could almost buy the computer we are thinking of buying ($1200). ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/39 "2008-09-24T16:04:51Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Hell, where do I sign up? What’s the big deal? You got the $1000? For that price I could almost buy the computer we are thinking of buying ($1200). I’m sure you could do something else for the remaining $200… ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/40 "2008-09-24T16:06:37Z")
Hell, I need the money. I’ll kiss a bum’s ass for a grand. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978.md?page=3)