# Would you literally kiss my ass for $1,000 in cash (or the equivlent in pounds)? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 24, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978 "2008-09-24T13:54:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/41 "2008-09-24T16:09:06Z")
Sure I’d do it. I’d even let you buy-one-get-one-half-price! ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/42 "2008-09-24T16:12:23Z")
What the hell, I have no pride whatsoever and even less money so sure, I’d do it. We can see which tickles more, your ass hair or my goatee. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/43 "2008-09-24T16:29:10Z")
> [@Enfant Terrible](#): > > Hmmm… mouthwash and alcohol are pretty cheap these days… > > But my self-respect is not… Self-respect? What’s that? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/44 "2008-09-24T16:29:16Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > Just for the record, I’m male. > > I’m amused how many are equating it to “between” as well. Who said anything about that? Just on an ass cheek. : D That’s good enough. I think I was the first to kick of the “between the cheeks” discussion here, and the reason I brought it up is because I came in here fully expecting it to be a between-the-cheeks kiss for the $1000. I was surprised that it was merely on the cheek. Meh, no biggie there! I’m not sure there’s enough money in America to get me to burrow between your cheeks with my puckered lips. Although that $700,000,000,000 doesn’t sound too bad. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/45 "2008-09-24T16:33:46Z")
Hmm, Rock Band 2 is coming out with the new fancy drum kit, AND I’ve been wanting to buy a new computer. Then, there’s that downpayment I’ve been needing for the Yamaha FJR I desperately want to buy… Any chance we can go double-or-nothing if I kiss both cheeks? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CaerieD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/46 "2008-09-24T16:36:18Z")
Hell, for a thousand dollars I’ll _lick_ your cheek and do body shots off of you. I’m cheap like that. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/47 "2008-09-24T16:37:41Z")
Yes. I don’t see any problem with that at all. I’d do it for $50. I don’t see what the big deal is. ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/48 "2008-09-24T16:40:20Z")
No one’s mentioned the aspect of hair. Do you have a hairy arse? If so, I might have to think about it. Provided you are wearing clean skivvies and have washed up recently, if it’s been clean and I can pucker up on the side of the ass opposite the crack area, no worries. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/49 "2008-09-24T16:41:06Z")
Sure. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/50 "2008-09-24T16:48:37Z")
Totally, if no one found out. If I had a minimum wage job (in Florida), I’d have to do nearly 150 hours worth of work for that money. And all you want is 5 seconds? Hell, I’d do it for $100. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/51 "2008-09-24T17:03:23Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > I think I was the first to kick of the “between the cheeks” discussion here, and the reason I brought it up is because I came in here fully expecting it to be a between-the-cheeks kiss for the $1000. I was surprised that it was merely on the cheek. Meh, no biggie there! Yeah, seriously. The buttock? That’s about as gross as kissing someone’s elbow\*. I’d do it if you just asked me really nicely. [sub]\*Assuming conventional standards of hygiene, of course.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/52 "2008-09-24T17:06:09Z")
You betcha. Put it on live TV for all I care. $5000 makes it a pleasure. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/53 "2008-09-24T17:22:25Z")
Nope. Not into bestiality. Isn’t it too hot out there to subject an ass to those conditions? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/54 "2008-09-24T17:53:43Z")
Only 5 seconds? Hell, I’d do it for pizza and a movie rental. Upgrade to a bit of a grab too and you’d only need to throw in an additional Blizzard. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/55 "2008-09-24T18:42:12Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > No one’s mentioned the aspect of hair… > [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > …will you please shave it first? What the hell did you -think- I was asking him to shave?! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/56 "2008-09-24T18:43:41Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Yeah, seriously. The buttock? That’s about as gross as kissing someone’s elbow\*. I’d do it if you just asked me really nicely. > > [sub]\*Assuming conventional standards of hygiene, of course.[/sub] Miller, will you pretty please kiss my ass, with a cherry on top? I’d be most obliged. ---
**Author:** ![Jeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/57 "2008-09-24T18:54:48Z")
To the OP: Shit, it would cost you $1000 just to _imagine_ me kissing your ass. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/58 "2008-09-24T19:11:27Z")
> [@Hippy\_Hollow](#): > > No one’s mentioned the aspect of hair. Do you have a hairy arse? > > If so, I might have to think about it. > > Provided you are wearing clean skivvies and have washed up recently, if it’s been clean and I can pucker up on the side of the ass opposite the crack area, no worries. Nope. No hair to speak of…it’s a very smooth, baby-butt type ass. But I may need a new monitor after reading all the replies in this thread so maybe I’ll keep the 1,000 after all. I’m pretty amused by the variety of replies, though. Seems some would be for it, some would be iffy, some respect themselves too much to even consider it. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/59 "2008-09-24T20:18:27Z")
> [@Idle\_Thoughts](#): > > I’m pretty amused by the variety of replies, though. Seems some would be for it, some would be iffy, some **respect themselves** too much to even consider it. (emphasis added) I’m not sure that’s quite a fair way to express things. The impression I have for most of us voting for the “sure” column is not that we lack self-respect, just that this act is so benign, by our personal standards, that the issue of self-respect doesn’t come into play. ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2008, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978/60 "2008-09-24T20:45:46Z")
> [@OtakuLoki](#): > > (emphasis added) > > I’m not sure that’s quite a fair way to express things. The impression I have for most of us voting for the “sure” column is not that we lack self-respect, just that this act is so benign, by our personal standards, that the issue of self-respect doesn’t come into play. Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that those who would are lacking it. That wasn’t how I meant it at all. I merely meant some (who wouldn’t) put it down to a “too much respect for myself” thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-literally-kiss-my-ass-for-1-000-in-cash-or-the-equivlent-in-pounds/464978.md?page=4)