# Would you live in Middle-earth, if you could? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 13, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325 "2006-07-13T14:31:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/1 "2006-07-13T14:31:22Z")
Why or why not? If yes, when and where? And as a particular already-existing character, as yourself, or as a new character? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/2 "2006-07-13T14:34:53Z")
No, it’s a technologically primitive monarchy with all sorts of evil creatures running around. ---
**Author:** ![SuaSponte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SuaSponte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuaSponte)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/3 "2006-07-13T14:49:30Z")
[QUOTE=Captain Amazing] No, it’s a technologically primitive monarchy with all sorts of evil creatures running around. [/QUOTE] And with almost no immigration control to speak of. Certainly the damn Rohanians and Gondorians know nothing about securing their border. Obvious Democrats. OTOH, Rivendell and Lothlorien both appeared to have excellent border security. Elves are pubbies. Sua ---
**Author:** ![Clockwork\_And\_Candy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b782af/32.png) [@Clockwork\_And\_Candy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clockwork_And_Candy)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/4 "2006-07-13T14:53:12Z")
No. Because I just _know_ that I’d end up being a turnip farmer, or something equally depressing. I only want to live in ME if I can go on fantastical adventures too. ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/5 "2006-07-13T14:57:43Z")
Yes, yes, yes. Esp. if Elijah, Dominic, Billy and the Ians are there too. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/6 "2006-07-13T15:01:34Z")
There’s no Penicillin. All food is prepared over an ash-strewn wood fire. I’d have to fight Orcs. _Without_ gunpowder. On the other hand: are we _guarenteed_ Elvish Boo-Tay? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/7 "2006-07-13T15:12:46Z")
Where and when are some key questions, here. I mean, do I want to live in Dorthonion just prior to the Dagor Bragollach? No, no sir, I do not. Howabout near the ruins of Annúminas on the shores of Nenuial at the beginnning of the Fourth Age? That might be very nice, especially if I were a craftsman or builder, as there would be plenty of restoration work to do. I’d probably pick Lothlorien or Imladris in the early-to-mid Third Age if I were an Elf, but I’m not. Gondor during the Golden Age, circa 1000 of the Thrid Age would be nice. Minas Tirith was a rather vibrant and secure place then, Gondor was conquering all it’s neighboring adversaries and doing quite well in general, so that’d be cool. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/8 "2006-07-13T15:15:26Z")
YES!!! Sorry about that, please check my location. I would love to live and work with the Elven Smiths of Rivendell. A life at the Grey Havens would be a joy. I would settle quite happily to be a smith or carpenter or toymaker in Bree. I would love to live in the early fourth age during the reigns of Ellesar [Telcontar](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Telcontar) or his son Eldarion Telcontar. If I could be any of the heroes, it would be perfect to be Gimli or Samwise. If any race, I would be Noldorian. If a minor character, I would simply be an unnamed Elven Smith. If just me, transported somehow to Middle Earth, I would hope for one of the jobs I mentioned above in Bree, but I would enjoy life in Minas Tirith, or Ithilien or even Dale. Living and rebuilding Annúminas would be a glorious occupation in itself. Jim {Elendil, you are on quite a roll today} ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/9 "2006-07-13T15:39:46Z")
I’m probably the only poster who is partial to the dwarves. Gotta love that metal work. And I like the hearty attitude to life. I could live under the mountain, after Smaug was killed and the culture there revived. But I’d also like visits to the Shire, for a few more of the creature comforts. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/10 "2006-07-13T15:49:15Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] YES!!! Sorry about that, please check my location. I would love to live and work with the Elven Smiths of Rivendell. A life at the Grey Havens would be a joy. I would settle quite happily to be a smith or carpenter or toymaker in Bree. I would love to live in the early fourth age during the reigns of Ellesar [Telcontar](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Telcontar) or his son Eldarion Telcontar. If I could be any of the heroes, it would be perfect to be Gimli or Samwise. If any race, I would be Noldorian. If a minor character, I would simply be an unnamed Elven Smith. If just me, transported somehow to Middle Earth, I would hope for one of the jobs I mentioned above in Bree, but I would enjoy life in Minas Tirith, or Ithilien or even Dale. Living and rebuilding Annúminas would be a glorious occupation in itself. Jim {Elendil, you are on quite a roll today} [/QUOTE] I hope you enjoy living with people who _don’t bathe more than once a month_, 'cause…Galadriel would _likely_ **smell like a buffalo**! 😛😃 ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/11 "2006-07-13T15:54:55Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I hope you enjoy living with people who _don’t bathe more than once a month_, 'cause…Galadriel would _likely_ **smell like a buffalo**! 😛😃 [/QUOTE] For thousands and thousands of years, until quite recently, humans manged to live as you said. No doubt Bree would be quite pungent. However, perhaps you missed my remark about wishing to be Gimli, I am now forced to asked you to apologize for your insult to the fairest of all ladies or I will have to relieve your neck of the horrible burden your head. Jim (I am quite sure that Hobbits and Elves bathed more often than men 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/12 "2006-07-13T15:58:13Z")
I lust after Bag End… Does that count? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/13 "2006-07-13T16:12:45Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] For thousands and thousands of years, until quite recently, humans manged to live as you said. No doubt Bree would be quite pungent. However, perhaps you missed my remark about wishing to be Gimli, I am now forced to asked you to apologize for your insult to the fairest of all ladies or I will have to relieve your neck of the horrible burden your head. Jim (I am quite sure that Hobbits and Elves bathed more often than men 😉 ) [/QUOTE] I must point out that Dwarves’ beards are eligible for Department Of Agriculture Grant money, as they have enough tiny livestock in em to qualify as ranches. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/14 "2006-07-13T16:17:24Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I hope you enjoy living with people who _don’t bathe more than once a month_, 'cause…Galadriel would _likely_ **smell like a buffalo**! 😛😃 [/QUOTE] You can’t be serious. Elves are damn near perfect. I’m quite certain even the lowliest of Elves has not a trace of B.O. I imagine even Númenórean kings smelled like ass by modern standards, though. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/15 "2006-07-13T16:25:59Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] I must point out that Dwarves’ beards are eligible for Department Of Agriculture Grant money, as they have enough tiny livestock in em to qualify as ranches. [/QUOTE] Aye Laddie, that may well be true. But I still await your apology for the insult to fair Galadriel. Gimli son of Gloin. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/16 "2006-07-13T16:27:54Z")
We’re going to be doing this all month, aren’t we? Lord, no. Unless you’re using Middle-Earth loosely and actually mean “Aman,” so I get to be an elf in Tol Eressea. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/17 "2006-07-13T16:29:26Z")
I’ve always suspected that being a medieval peasant wasn’t as much fun as a 20th century language professor thinks it was. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/18 "2006-07-13T16:32:42Z")
I would love to live with the elves. More likely, though, my nature is suited to the Hobbits. I would most likely be a shopkeeper. I would love Bilbo’s house, though. I would not want to live in Rohan, but the White City of Minas Tirith would be fine. See, the tough thing is, after Sauron was defeated there would be less obvious evil in the world - but all the magic and beauty of the elves and Fair Folk would be gone. And that’s not much different than this world. Before has its charms except for the giant hulking menace of Sauron. But I’m sure I could find a peaceful time in the 5000 years between his first defeat and when he rises again. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/19 "2006-07-13T16:33:14Z")
[QUOTE=Little Nemo] I’ve always suspected that being a medieval peasant wasn’t as much fun as a 20th century language professor thinks it was. [/QUOTE] Do not underestimate the Professor, he did not write about human peasants. Samwise was the only Hobbit of low birth. The Humans you met were either Townsfolk, Soldiers or Nobles. (Beorn is a rather special exception to this rule) The Op has invited us to choose our role, our job, our time and location. So simply do not choose peasant or serf and you will be better off. Jim ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/20 "2006-07-13T16:40:10Z")
My luck, I would have been the guy right next to Faramir when he stormed Osgiliath. Hell, I’d probably be an Orc, for that matter. So, unless I could be Bombadil, no f’n way. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325.md?page=2)