# Would you live in Middle-earth, if you could? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 13, 2006, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325 "2006-07-13T14:31:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/41 "2006-07-13T22:30:25Z")
So would I have to be genetically me, or not? Either way my answer is likely no, but if I would be the same genetic person, HELL no. I have shitty eyesight, my teeth were terribly crooked before I got braces, and I am clumsy as all hell. I don’t think I’d do well as me. Moreover, I am far too comfortable with modern conveniences such as vaccinations, medications (especially for allergies), shampoo, contact lenses and Riesen chocolate chews. I’d be intrested in being there for a month, but that’s about it. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/42 "2006-07-13T22:30:46Z")
[QUOTE=Humble Servant] How many languages would I have to learn?? [/quote] Only one; almost everyone speaks Westron. ---
**Author:** ![Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Alive\_At\_Both\_Ends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alive_At_Both_Ends)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/43 "2006-07-13T22:51:44Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Only one; almost everyone speaks Westron. [/QUOTE] But the real problem is - would I have to speak that horrible Tolkienian stilted prose all day long? You know what I mean - for instance, it seems you can’t even refer to someone by name half the time without telling you in the same breath whose son they are. I can’t imagine any real person saying things like “Never before has anyone dared to utter the words of that tongue in Imladris, Gandalf the Grey”. But LOTR characters do this all the time. I’d go completely barmy in a matter of weeks. (Disclaimer - I think LOTR is a brilliant book. But real life it ain’t.) ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/44 "2006-07-13T23:03:45Z")
[QUOTE=Alive At Both Ends] But the real problem is - would I have to speak that horrible Tolkienian stilted prose all day long? [/QUOTE] Well, you’ll note the Shire and the Bree folk converse in what I assume is roughly an English country dialect, which is fairly informal and unadorned. Those who interact with them appear to adjust their manner of speech accordingly, as Strider’s ability to floridly out-stilt Prince Valiant doesn’t surface until he’s well on his way to assuming the title of King Elessar. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/45 "2006-07-13T23:11:55Z")
[QUOTE=Alive At Both Ends] But the real problem is - would I have to speak that horrible Tolkienian stilted prose all day long? [/QUOTE] Depends on your race. If you were a Rivendell elf from “The Hobbit”, you’d have to sit in trees and sing goofy songs at travellers all day. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/46 "2006-07-13T23:14:03Z")
[QUOTE=Monstre] Depends on your race. If you were a Rivendell elf from “The Hobbit”, you’d have to sit in trees and sing goofy songs at travellers all day. 😉 [/QUOTE] Not to mention accosting small Woodland Creatures, such as squirrels. Professor T didn’t spend much time on that, in the books. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2006, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/47 "2006-07-13T23:48:11Z")
[QUOTE=rowrrbazzle] Only if I could be an Elf. I suspect a professor of Anglo-Saxon and a scholar of Old and Middle English knew more about the realities of the life of a peasant of those eras than anyone on the SDMB. [/QUOTE] Quite Right! [QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Very good, sirrah! Well said, donca know! Since you are an advocate of Middle Earth, & of Dwarves, you get a Magic Axe. Since I am an advocate of the 21st Century, I get a Submachine Gun. 30 paces, turn & attack. [/QUOTE] No problem, 1 ,2, 3 signal to Legolas to bow down this servant of Sauraman. It’s good to be an Elf-Friend. Gimli son of Gloin. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/48 "2006-07-14T05:55:40Z")
OK, **Bosda** , how far can you throw your SMG? I notice that you conveniently forgot to specify any ammunition. ---
**Author:** ![mr.jp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/49 "2006-07-14T11:04:26Z")
As myself: That really depend on a different question, do I have any useful knowledge in medieval society, which Im sure has been discussed here before. I think maybe I could make gunpowder, or something. As an elf or a wizard: Obviously, yes As a dwarf: Living underground, working all day, having sex with women that look like men. Heck no. As a hobbit: hmm, no. Those that are well off seem to be living a relaxing life. But it would be annoying to be so short and useless compared to the other races. As one of the Dunedain: Now, we are talking. Skilled men, who live really long. As a dragon: That would be kond of cool, if I had my own giant treasure. Especially if I had enough to dive in it like a porpoise. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/50 "2006-07-14T11:37:15Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] OK, **Bosda** , how far can you throw your SMG? I notice that you conveniently forgot to specify any ammunition. [/QUOTE] I get my ammunition wholesale. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/51 "2006-07-14T16:42:54Z")
> [@](#): > > I suspect a professor of Anglo-Saxon and a scholar of Old and Middle English knew more about the realities of the life of a peasant of those eras than anyone on the SDMB. I grew up working on a farm. Which, while paradise on Earth compared to the life of a medieval peasant, is closer to the reality than anything a scholar of Old English would know. > [@](#): > > Do not underestimate the Professor, he did not write about human peasants. Samwise was the only Hobbit of low birth. Sure Tolkein wrote about peasants. They were the unnamed masses who were getting massacred in the mud so the noble heroes would have something to feel tragic about. Unless they were the unnamed masses on the other side who were getting massacred in the mud so the noble heroes would have something to feel triumphant about. > [@](#): > > The Op has invited us to choose our role, our job, our time and location. So simply do not choose peasant or serf and you will be better off. A good point. Life’s always better when you’re at the top of the heap. But even with that proviso, I’d prefer to be Darth Vader rather than Sauron - power over the worms plus indoor plumbing. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/52 "2006-07-14T17:21:01Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] There’s no Penicillin. All food is prepared over an ash-strewn wood fire. I’d have to fight Orcs. _Without_ gunpowder. [/QUOTE] You make good points, but I imagine there’s a downside. If I could live in Rivendell, Lorien, or the Shire, I would. If I could be Aragorn, I would. ‘Cause not only would I be doing Arwen, but I’d probably be gettin’ some Eowyn on the side. And damn near any fair maid that caught my fancy. It’s good to be the king. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/53 "2006-07-14T17:22:56Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] If I could be Aragorn, I would. ‘Cause not only would I be doing Arwen, but I’d probably be gettin’ some Eowyn on the side. And damn near any fair maid that caught my fancy. [/QUOTE] Because THAT wouldn’t cause a rebellion. No, Aragorn’s too noble too cheat on his wife (and too blind to see that Eowyn is the best woman in Middle-earth). If you want inside that shield-maiden’s bloomers, you’d better be Eomer. ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/54 "2006-07-14T17:53:21Z")
No. No internet. So no Straight Dope. So no point. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/55 "2006-07-14T18:24:55Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Because THAT wouldn’t cause a rebellion. No, Aragorn’s too noble too cheat on his wife (and too blind to see that Eowyn is the best woman in Middle-earth). If you want inside that shield-maiden’s bloomers, you’d better be **Eomer**. [/QUOTE] my bolding Faramir not Eomer, Ick!!! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/56 "2006-07-14T18:26:31Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] my bolding Faramir not Eomer, Ick!!! [/QUOTE] :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/57 "2006-07-14T21:36:05Z")
> [@](#): > > As one of the Dunedain: > Now, we are talking. Skilled men, who live really long. …and who don’t lose their virginity until 87 years old. After a few decades, those dwarf women might start looking pretty good. And Aragorn did recognize Eowyn as being the best _human_ woman in Middle-Earth. But Eowyn vs. Arwen? Hard to say. ---
**Author:** ![tarragon918](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@tarragon918](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarragon918)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/58 "2006-07-14T22:00:09Z")
Yep! 🙂 Here again, though, I’ve RPed an elf (Grey Havens) and a human (Rohan) on Elendor MUSH, and a human (Dorthonian) on the first age Beleriand MUSH. I liked the hobbits, but never rped as one. I think if I could live in/on Middle Earth, I’d like to be an elf, probably of Lothlorien. Living in the trees, and as much lembas as I wanted? Oh yeah. 🙂 I did like my time rping in Rohan, with all the horses, but they were so on the edge of danger nearly all the time. ☹ Loved the first age too, though, but that was probably the most dangerous time of all. Tolkien wasn’t afraid to portray that either–things definitely weren’t “hearts and flowers” in his universe. Still, though, I think Lothlorien elf would fit me. ---
**Author:** ![mr.jp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/48db29/32.png) [@mr.jp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mr.jp)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/59 "2006-07-14T22:06:44Z")
[QUOTE=Chronos] …and who don’t lose their virginity until 87 years old. After a few decades, those dwarf women might start looking pretty good. [/QUOTE] Huh? Did they not have sex until age 87? I missed this in the books. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325/60 "2006-07-14T22:15:21Z")
[QUOTE=mr. jp] Huh? Did they not have sex until age 87? I missed this in the books. [/QUOTE] I thought that statement was odd too, but after thinking over it a while I think it’s implied by the fact that people in Tolkien’s only marry once (in general), remain chaste until married (given Tolkien’s sexual morality), and Aragorn was in his late 80s, despite apparances, when he wed Arwen.. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-live-in-middle-earth-if-you-could/364325.md?page=4)