# Would you make a prime murder suspect? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 2, 2009, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036 "2009-11-02T10:47:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/1 "2009-11-02T10:47:39Z")
I was watching “48hours: Hard evidence” marathon on cable today. One thing I noticed, time and time again was the detective/police or whoever would always say the alleged suspect wasn’t _crying_ or showed a serious lack of emotion. I have to say that if I ever came home and found my family all laying on the floor in a pool of blood; I’m not too certain _crying_ would be in my immediate future. The shock of it all would be too overwhelming. I could easily see myself crying after the dust has settled but not immediately. Of course, that wouldn’t be good enough for Detective Hard Nose. He’d have my ass on Dateline quicker than you could say double jeopardy! 😃 Any other psychopaths out there? ---
**Author:** ![Eternal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecb155/32.png) [@Eternal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eternal)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/2 "2009-11-02T10:50:04Z")
Maybe ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/3 "2009-11-02T11:49:37Z")
Yes. Never made it a secret on the board, but I was abused by a fiance. To the point where I find it impossible to cry if there is anybody present. I was the only person at my fathers graveside not crying. i heard negative comments about it. I cried in private before and after. Grief is my personal business, not a public affair. My grief is no less because I did not cry buckets and carry on out loud. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/4 "2009-11-02T12:33:48Z")
At my father’s funeral, many people remarked on my “serenity.” Apparently, Serenity: when you’d like to bitchslap half your family and refrain from doing so while keeping a straight face. So yes, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/5 "2009-11-02T14:53:06Z")
I suspect that when my father-in-law dies, the cops will be looking **very** closely at me. I’ll have a tough time not looking openly relieved. When my dad died unexpectedly when I was in my early 20s, I got a first-hand view of this kind of thing - not a bloody crime scene, but out-of-the-blue being informed of death. I discovered that I had enough presence of mind to think about more concrete things; this happened the day before a new fall semester in college and I was in classes that had waiting lists and would bump you if you didn’t show, so I babbled something about that and having to call people. My aunt and uncle, who came to college to tell me and drive me home, were understanding, and assured me that no one would be in that office on the weekend. I became the “strong one” for my sister and mom in the dealings with the funeral home and such, so the sadness was shut down a bit for me during that process. ---
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/6 "2009-11-02T15:44:34Z")
If my wife ever turned up dead I would be in big trouble. I never show emotion. People already suspect that I’m a bit off. A co-worker once asked me, “What do you do for fun? Kill small animals?” When I inquired as to why he would ask me that, he said, “You just seem like a sociopath.” When the news vans show up and start interviewing my neighbors, I imagine that they’d say, “He was always nice to us but, yeah, I can totally see him killing people.” I would spend the rest of my life in prison unless I had an airtight alibi. No jury would let me walk. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/7 "2009-11-02T18:36:55Z")
No. Sometimes I tear up just _thinking_ about my loved ones dying. I have serious issues about showing strong negative emotions in front of others, but during particularly traumatic or upsetting events I have found other people tend to disappear and I am just a mess of emotion. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/8 "2009-11-02T18:54:00Z")
No. I tear up in pretty much any stressful situation. I teared up when our water heater leaked. Sometimes I can hold it off for a little while, but those tears are eventually coming. It’s embarrassing, but I guess it would keep me from being a prime murder suspect. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/9 "2009-11-02T19:09:49Z")
I am a crier, so no. But, I hate it when dectective say this sort of crap. Stick to DNA evidence, coppers. People react differently, and what you think looks like guilt may be shock, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/10 "2009-11-02T19:14:37Z")
Not only would I be a prime suspect from the lack of crying (or any show of emotion, really - I keep those bottled up real nice, to be opened years later, alone, preferably in the dark), but I suspect them finding my sister’s head in the fridge wouldn’t help my case any. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/11 "2009-11-02T19:15:23Z")
I’m a quiet loner, and I don’t show much emotion in front of others. According to most of the TV I’ve seen, I must have bodies stacked up in my closets like cordwood . ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/12 "2009-11-02T19:17:31Z")
Similarly, I always wonder how I come across when I’m tired or rushed at airport security. Asked a friend of a friend who screens people and he says that after a while on the job you learn to figure out (at least to the best of your ability) who’s nervous about flying and who’s nervous about the 12 endangered parrots strapped to their legs. I imagine most cops worth their salt do more than equate lack of emotion with guilt. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/13 "2009-11-02T19:34:38Z")
I’m a single middle aged guy who my neighbors would likely describe as “quiet, lives alone, keeps to himself, never bothers anybody”. I think that means I fit the profile of every serial killer that ever lived. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/14 "2009-11-02T20:01:36Z")
Yeah, I’m always the one who keeps her head in an emergency. Folks who think women “should” be emotional find it off-putting. When it’s all over, and I have a quiet, private moment I will have a complete sobbing breakdown, probably much worse than if I had let it out at the time. FH - I feel the same way about my ex. His friends and family are going to be pointing right at me when someone finally does him in - and I’ll be dancing . . . ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/15 "2009-11-02T20:23:13Z")
Youngish looking black male. Dislike of ‘authorities’. Cold, callous. Nerd. Loner. Atheist. I’m surprised I haven’t already been charged with a crime, if something happened to my family I doubt I’d draw another free breath. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/16 "2009-11-02T20:36:57Z")
I’d be sent up if they judged me on emotion. I can be really cold hearted. The fact is made worse by the fact I am normally such a happy-go-lucky, nothing really bothers me, type guy. I’ve had people get frightened when they see me get angry, 'cause they’re like “Mark never gets mad.” Of course I do, but it just doesn’t happen much, and I’m one of those people that gets mad and in five minutes I’m over it and I go on with life. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/17 "2009-11-02T21:00:54Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > my neighbors would likely describe as “quiet, lives alone, keeps to himself, never bothers anybody”. OTOH, that description fits me to a tee. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/18 "2009-11-02T21:08:33Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > I’m a single middle aged guy who my neighbors would likely describe as “quiet, lives alone, keeps to himself, never bothers anybody”. I think that means I fit the profile of every serial killer that ever lived. Substitute “woman” for “guy” and it’s me. Plus I get pissed at authority figures like cops so I might give them a hard time. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/19 "2009-11-02T21:56:48Z")
I think I would be looked at pretty closely. I am analytical by nature, with most of my actions driven by my head rather than my heart. In times of crisis, I am typically the one who comes up with a plan to get us through the next few minutes, hours, or days. So, if I were to be confronted with my wife’s death, I wouldn’t just break down in tears. Instead, I would immediately retreat into planning the funeral arrangements, selling the house, downsizing, etc. The emotion sets in later, when I am by myself and can think my own thoughts. Then, the authorities would probably look at my Google history and have a field day: poisons and antidotes, the Body Farm, decomposition, maps of rural areas, blackpowder rifles, forensic science, criminology, crime scene investigation, etc. Those topics would probably raise a few eyebrows. It’s a good thing I have one novel under my belt and two others in the works, one of which involves a murder investigation. Yep, if my wife ever dies – whatever the reason – I’m pretty much going away for life. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2009, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036/20 "2009-11-02T23:23:36Z")
When my aunt dies, I will be sad but relieved (see various earlier threads). Given my current financial problems and that I expect to inherit a modest sum, I’d be a prime suspect. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-make-a-prime-murder-suspect/516036.md?page=2)