# Would you marry Methuselah? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 26, 2010, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092 "2010-09-26T13:43:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/41 "2010-09-27T01:59:34Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > In other words, if my merely asking the question would break us up, then it was not a good relationship to begin with. True, but weren’t you wondering if she’d killed any of her previous husbands? If she has, you may not like the form of her answer! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/42 "2010-09-27T02:22:47Z")
Quoth **Omega Glory** : > [@](#): > > We could be friends, but it would be too complicated to build a life with someone who was aging so slowly. Eventually we’d have to keep moving, or break up so as not to raise suspicion, and any children, and grandchildren who resulted would have to lie about their relationship to Methuselah, or be kept in the dark, to keep them from accidentally letting the truth slip out. I’m sure she’s had plenty of practice in that sort of thing. I’d be happy to leave the details of that to her. Myself, I’d be more than happy to stay with and marry her, provided she’s willing to marry me and to have at least two or three kids (about how many I would want from a marriage with a normal woman). Far from being a liability, I see her slow-aging as a significant positive. Ultimately, the whole purpose of all our complicated courtship rituals is to try to find the best potential other parent for our children. Even aside from any other positive traits she has (she surely has several, or the relationship wouldn’t have started in the first place), any children I have from her will have, on average, about five additional years of healthy adult life. That’s a _good_ thing. Plus, on an intellectual level, in those two millennia she has to have learned a lot. And I really enjoy hanging out with people who know more than me. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/43 "2010-09-27T02:36:35Z")
Hypothetically, yeah, sounds like a pretty cool gig, I’d love to have conversations with that person until I grow old and die, she’d be a good conversationalist I think. Keep in mind, though, that, in the real world, [immortality (or even super-long life like what is postulated in the OP) is not something you’d want](http://www.cracked.com/article_18708_5-reasons-immortality-would-be-worse-than-death.html). > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Not to mention that the longest-lived of the Methuselah’s children only made it to 400. I think this was because of the flood - run the numbers through as to who died when, who was born when, and when the flood was, from the account in Genesis (yeah, yeah, I know, but this is only where Methuselah is mentioned) and it turns out that the flood was what killed Methuselah (would he have still been living today were there no flood), plus the rest of the lives recorded seem to end conveniently then. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/44 "2010-09-27T03:05:35Z")
I guess I’m more vain and/or insecure than I realized. My first thought was that I’d be 80 years old and my husband would look and feel half my age. Could he possibly be attracted to me then? Why would he want to hang around playing cards and shuffleboard with me when he could be out scuba diving, ski diving, and whatever? So, I’d have to say no to marriage. But I’d have a hot and heavy fling with him! I’ll bet he’s a lot of fun! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/45 "2010-09-27T03:08:15Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > **Skald** , has this immortal babe stayed with her past husbands until they died? I’m just curious if she’d stick around until I die of old age or whatever. … This is exactly the question I was thinking. Does she stick with you until the end, or does she dump you at some point of inconvenience? Like the first time you need adult diapers, or your start to forget things, or your bulging stomach makes your penis disappear. The reason I hesitate in this scenario is that this part of a relationship will be the single most different part from any others. If you grow old together you can can support each other, but with this…? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/46 "2010-09-27T04:48:20Z")
I’d try to have her DNA analyzed by the government. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/47 "2010-09-27T06:19:19Z")
I ignored the option, “My answer depends on whether the lover’s a vampire,” because that’s a given. Stakity stakey stake! You realize that you just described a Beren/Luthien or Aragorn/Arwen relationship, right? Well, OK, Brenda/Connor. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/48 "2010-09-27T14:04:20Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Hypothetically, yeah, sounds like a pretty cool gig, I’d love to have conversations with that person until I grow old and die, she’d be a good conversationalist I think. > > Keep in mind, though, that, in the real world, [immortality (or even super-long life like what is postulated in the OP) is not something you’d want](http://www.cracked.com/article_18708_5-reasons-immortality-would-be-worse-than-death.html). > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > Not to mention that the longest-lived of the Methuselah’s children only made it to 400. > > I think this was because of the flood - run the numbers through as to who died when, who was born when, and when the flood was, from the account in Genesis (yeah, yeah, I know, but this is only where Methuselah is mentioned) and it turns out that the flood was what killed Methuselah (would he have still been living today were there no flood), plus the rest of the lives recorded seem to end conveniently then. Protocol requires me to threaten you hordes of gamma-ray-emitting dragonflies. (They’ve been nesting among marigolds.) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/49 "2010-09-27T14:05:40Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > I’d try to have her DNA analyzed by the government. Why is her DNA any of the government’s business? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/50 "2010-09-27T14:07:03Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > I ignored the option, “My answer depends on whether the lover’s a vampire,” because that’s a given. Stakity stakey stake! > > You realize that you just described a Beren/Luthien or Aragorn/Arwen relationship, right? Well, OK, Brenda/Connor. I don’t think Luthien was anywhere near 2000. Wasn’t her birth roughly contemporaneous to the founding of Gondolin? Who are Brenda and Connor? ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/51 "2010-09-27T14:53:33Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@foolsguinea](#): > > > > I ignored the option, “My answer depends on whether the lover’s a vampire,” because that’s a given. Stakity stakey stake! You realize that you just described a Beren/Luthien or Aragorn/Arwen relationship, right? Well, OK, Brenda/Connor. > > I don’t think Luthien was anywhere near 2000. Wasn’t her birth roughly contemporaneous to the founding of Gondolin? Who are Brenda and Connor? Both Luthien and Arwen renounced their immortality when they joined with their mortal lovers - I don’t think Beren and Luthien actually married as he was dead by that point (he got better). Also, there’s no record of any previous relationships in either case, so it’s not that close to this hypothetical - in those cases it’s the immortal that makes the sacrifices. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/52 "2010-09-27T15:04:31Z")
> [@Steophan](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > I don’t think Luthien was anywhere near 2000. Wasn’t her birth roughly contemporaneous to the founding of Gondolin? Who are Brenda and Connor? > > Both Luthien and Arwen renounced their immortality when they joined with their mortal lovers - I don’t think Beren and Luthien actually married as he was dead by that point (he got better). Also, there’s no record of any previous relationships in either case, so it’s not that close to this hypothetical - in those cases it’s the immortal that makes the sacrifices. Yeah, I know the Silmarillion stuff. The important question is _Who are Brenda & Connor_? I would look it up but I don’t know the URL to [google.com](http://google.com) or [en.wikipedia.org](http://en.wikipedia.org). ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/53 "2010-09-27T16:10:39Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@Steophan](#): > > > > Both Luthien and Arwen renounced their immortality when they joined with their mortal lovers - I don’t think Beren and Luthien actually married as he was dead by that point (he got better). Also, there’s no record of any previous relationships in either case, so it’s not that close to this hypothetical - in those cases it’s the immortal that makes the sacrifices. > > Yeah, I know the Silmarillion stuff. The important question is _Who are Brenda & Connor_? I would look it up but I don’t know the URL to [google.com](http://google.com) or [en.wikipedia.org](http://en.wikipedia.org). Try Yahoo Answers, that’ll help. Or start a poll here. I just assumed it was a modern popular culture reference, and therefore ignored it. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/54 "2010-09-27T20:27:11Z")
I’m guessing that that’s Connor Macleod, of the _Highlander_ series. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/55 "2010-09-27T20:56:54Z")
Indeed. And Brenda Wyatt, the Roxanne Hart character. I left off Rachel/Connor & Heather/Connor, because those are a little different & it didn’t seem necessary. Would Tessa/Duncan (from the tv version) have been more recognizable? Whatever, it’s an old idea. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/56 "2010-09-27T21:01:04Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > Indeed. And Brenda Wyatt, the Roxanne Hart character. > > I left off Rachel/Connor & Heather/Connor, because those are a little different & it didn’t seem necessary. Would Tessa/Duncan (from the tv version) have been more recognizable? Whatever, it’s an old idea. I’ll tell you a little secret. I’ve never watched any of the Highlander movies and seen only a fraction of a couple of episodes. One looked interesting–it was when the hero, in a fit of madness, killed his sidekick; the other was disturbing, as it seemed to be on the verge of showing Tracy Scoggins about to be raped. I just couldn’t get into it. ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/57 "2010-09-27T22:18:48Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > > > I’d try to have her DNA analyzed by the government. > > Why is her DNA any of the government’s business? Same reason why say the AIDS virus is. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/58 "2010-09-27T22:34:21Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > Why is her DNA any of the government’s business? > > Same reason why say the AIDS virus is. HIV is a threat to public health; people who get it grow ill and die without treatment, and that treatment is expensive to society. None of that is true of the Methuselah’s slow aging. How, again, is her DNA the government’s business? Is she government property for some reason? ---
**Author:** ![Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/f04885/32.png) [@Qin\_Shi\_Huangdi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qin_Shi_Huangdi)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/59 "2010-09-27T22:36:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > > > Same reason why say the AIDS virus is. > > HIV is a threat to public health; people who get it grow ill and die without treatment, and that treatment is expensive to society. None of that is true of the Methuselah’s slow aging. > > How, again, is her DNA the government’s business? Is she government property for some reason? Similarly Methuselah’s DNA would be incredibly unique among human beings and should be studied for the greater good. (yeah I’m a bit of a civic good person). ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2010, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092/60 "2010-09-27T22:37:32Z")
> [@Curtis LeMay](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > HIV is a threat to public health; people who get it grow ill and die without treatment, and that treatment is expensive to society. None of that is true of the Methuselah’s slow aging. > > > > How, again, is her DNA the government’s business? Is she government property for some reason? > > Similarly Methuselah’s DNA would be incredibly unique among human beings and should be studied for the greater good. (yeah I’m a bit of a civic good person). But what if she protests? Has she not the right to control over her own body? And frankly I think the idea of her longevity spreading through the population – even the lesser version of her longest-lived child, who died at 400 --is probably a bad idea. Though I would probably be all cowardly and stuff when my turn with the Reaper came. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-methuselah/555092.md?page=4)