# Would you marry Tom Cruise? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 3, 2013, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940 "2013-01-03T11:37:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/1 "2013-01-03T11:37:20Z")
Assuming you were unattached at the time, and he was amoured with you. ---
**Author:** ![Jennyrosity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/2bfe46/32.png) [@Jennyrosity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennyrosity)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/2 "2013-01-03T12:01:37Z")
Good lord, of course not. He’s a dreadful little man. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/3 "2013-01-03T12:12:10Z")
Are you asking men only? ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/4 "2013-01-03T12:23:41Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Are you asking men only? Anyone… Let’s assume the rumours are true and he swings both ways. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/5 "2013-01-03T12:28:55Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Anyone… Let’s assume the rumours are true and he swings both ways. The rumors actually suggest that he only fakes batting from the right, and can only bunt lefty, but I understand. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/6 "2013-01-03T12:31:06Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > The rumors actually suggest that he only fakes batting from the right, and can only bunt lefty, but I understand. I hear that he’s a five-tool player. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/7 "2013-01-03T12:37:35Z")
> [@hrhomer](#): > > I hear that he’s a five-tool player. what do you mean? ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/8 "2013-01-03T12:50:22Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > what do you mean? Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/9 "2013-01-03T12:54:16Z")
I would happily marry Katie Holmes. And even consider Nicole Kidman. But not Tom Cruise. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/10 "2013-01-03T12:54:26Z")
Good field no hit. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/11 "2013-01-03T13:05:49Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > what do you mean? [Baseball has been bery, bery good to me.](http://www.yougoprobaseball.com/what-is-a-5-five-tool-player.html) ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/12 "2013-01-03T13:20:46Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > [Baseball has been bery, bery good to me.](http://www.yougoprobaseball.com/what-is-a-5-five-tool-player.html) “Tool” can mean other things, IYKWIMAITYD. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/13 "2013-01-03T13:28:59Z")
Ew. He actually kind of scares me because it appears he actually believes the bullshit he spouts. The first time I saw the Scientology video, I kept waiting for him to, I don’t know, wink at the camera or something. When I realized that he was being earnest, I was mortified. Add in the postpartum interview with Matt Lauer, jumping on the couch with Oprah Winfrey, and the lengths Katie Holmes went to in order to blindside him in the divorce… well, now I think he’s a whackadoodle. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/14 "2013-01-03T13:34:50Z")
> [@hrhomer](#): > > “Tool” can mean other things, IYKWIMAITYD. :eek: Yikes and Zounds! ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/15 "2013-01-03T13:45:36Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Assuming you were unattached at the time, and he was amoured with you. Not a chance. I don’t care to get sucked into the $cientology vortex. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/16 "2013-01-03T14:08:04Z")
> [@Namkcalb](#): > > Anyone… Let’s assume the rumours are true and he swings both ways. Oh? There were rumours? Never heard them. This is why I don’t participate in the Celebrity Death Pool thread either; I have no idea who 90% of the people who died even are. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/17 "2013-01-03T14:15:16Z")
Hell no. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/18 "2013-01-03T14:17:52Z")
Probably, but for purely monetary reasons. I don’t think Scientology would be weirder (or more difficult to tolerate) than some forms of Christianity and Islam. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/19 "2013-01-03T14:24:33Z")
Marry him to _what_, exactly? ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/20 "2013-01-03T14:34:28Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Oh? There were rumours? Never heard them. > > This is why I don’t participate in the Celebrity Death Pool thread either; I have no idea who 90% of the people who died even are. I know! It’s awfully presumptuous of the OP to even assume Elis like myself have even heard of this Cruise fellow. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940.md?page=2)