# Would you marry Tom Cruise? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 3, 2013, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940 "2013-01-03T11:37:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/41 "2013-01-03T23:42:09Z")
Definitely not my type. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2013, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/42 "2013-01-03T23:45:01Z")
Not just no, _hell_ no. I don’t care how much money it nets me, I don’t want to be followed round every time I leave the compound by paparazzi desperate to get a picture of me looking crap to criticize, while I pretend to be happy and in love with a crazy guy who I presumably have to live with to maintain the farce. That’s without even getting into the whole lunatic cult thing. I’d sooner marry the Berlin Wall, it’d make more sense. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/43 "2013-01-04T00:01:32Z")
No matter which way he swings, I am not interested. I swing only one way, and it’s not in his direction. He’s not a bad actor, though. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Sparky\_the\_Wonder\_Spirit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky_the_Wonder_Spirit)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/44 "2013-01-04T00:25:59Z")
I don’t want anything to do with Scientology. Also, he might expect me to procreate. :shudder: ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/45 "2013-01-04T00:35:47Z")
There should be a Fuck No! option. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/46 "2013-01-04T00:58:20Z")
Hayyll to the N to the O. That’s a big EN OH. He’s a crazy mofo. Uh uh, no way, no how. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/47 "2013-01-04T01:09:23Z")
If he publicly and vehemently disavowed Scientology and all its works, had a full psychiatric evaluation and complied with any medication recommended, and retired from show business and worked toward his GED, I’d maybe consider it. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/48 "2013-01-04T01:23:41Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > What problems are you referring to? Being Tom Cruise? No, no and HELL NO! ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/49 "2013-01-04T05:29:46Z")
> [@lisacurl](#): > > If he publicly and vehemently disavowed Scientology and all its works, had a full psychiatric evaluation and complied with any medication recommended, and retired from show business and worked toward his GED, I’d maybe consider it. Psychiatry isn’t as benign as you think, I lost years of my life through trusting psychiatrists. I’m lucky I didn’t lose more. Besides, Tom is still a productive member of society despite his eccentricities, he doesn’t need medication, people just need to stop pretending his words have anymore value then anyone else’s when it comes to topics outside acting and climbing. ---
**Author:** ![drm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@drm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drm)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/50 "2013-01-04T05:51:08Z")
I’m not really attracted to men (being a straight man), but I know people who have worked closely with him who to a person speak very highly of him. Plus he’s rich and good looking and if I’m gonna go against my sexual orientation then there should be something in it for me. I’d have to be the top, but I’m a great deal bigger and stronger than him so I figure that is how it’d work out. Maybe he could hook my girlfriend up with Chris Hemsworth? She also likes Christopher Walken, that’d do too. Wouldn’t want to leave her high and dry. ---
**Author:** ![RogerSmith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/278dde/32.png) [@RogerSmith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RogerSmith)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/51 "2013-01-04T06:25:03Z")
No. Never. Perhaps young girls would love him. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/52 "2013-01-04T06:58:08Z")
> [@drm](#): > > I’m not really attracted to men (being a straight man), but I know people who have worked closely with him who to a person speak very highly of him. Everybody who works with him praise him incessantly. He is truly a nice and generous guy, and has buckets of charisma. I don’t think his beliefs make him any crazier than people who follow more mainstream religions. All of them are full of wackadoo ideas, traditions, rituals, and myths. But, having said that, there’s got to be something going on with him that all his relationships have “failed” so predictably and regimentally, like they’re all just for show. ---
**Author:** ![grodinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/57b2e6/32.png) [@grodinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grodinsky)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/53 "2013-01-04T07:25:49Z")
he’s so nutty he can’t afford to be “mean” or short (ha ha) with people. it’s a total front… but you know… not really a bad one if you understand what’s going on. his ‘nice guy’ reputation is the only thing he has left. i dont even think he’s GOOD at being nice, it’s way too earnest and reeks of bad acting. of course i could be wrong and that is genuinely how he is… somehow i doubt it. i’m pretty sure he’d be exactly like his bum chum david miscavige if his ego didnt still need the fame that his past-career (maybe current, i dont really know, do people actually care about him? like, will people still go see a movie because it’s a “tom cruise movie”? i really dont think he has that cachet anymore, if anything the opposite.) has given him. ---
**Author:** ![Sevencl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sevencl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sevencl)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/54 "2013-01-04T07:27:12Z")
I’d marry anyone who’d pay for my surgery. Somehow, I don’t think he’d want to do that though. ---
**Author:** ![grodinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/57b2e6/32.png) [@grodinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grodinsky)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/55 "2013-01-04T07:36:58Z")
> [@Sevencl](#): > > I’d marry anyone who’d pay for my surgery. Somehow, I don’t think he’d want to do that though. yr not sick, we just need to audit the thetans out of your xenu! ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/56 "2013-01-04T09:08:47Z")
Nope. I don’t want Scientologists controlling my every move. ---
**Author:** ![grodinsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/57b2e6/32.png) [@grodinsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grodinsky)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/57 "2013-01-04T09:40:08Z")
> [@jabiru](#): > > Nope. I don’t want Scientologists controlling my every move. they already do. get hip. ---
**Author:** ![Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Nunzio\_Tavulari](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nunzio_Tavulari)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/58 "2013-01-04T10:44:55Z")
I think I read that he divorced all of his wives when they were 33 years old. If you time it right, it would be a short marriage. Or you’re already past the expiration date. If you knew that you only had to do it for four years, it may be more tolerable. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/59 "2013-01-04T10:56:41Z")
I couldn’t have a serious relationship with anyone that believes in the dogma of any organised religion. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2013, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940/60 "2013-01-04T13:14:34Z")
Another reason this board shouldn’t be Google searchable. Mr Cruise’s publicist finds this thread while doing a vanity search for his client. Scientology Headquarters in Atlantis are alerted. I don’t need to spell out what happens next. Mods: can we disappear this thread? ETA: Dammit, too late. Shadowy figures watching me from he tree line. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-marry-tom-cruise/645940.md?page=4)