# Would you rather be the opposite sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 23, 2013, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551 "2013-09-23T23:26:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/61 "2013-09-25T17:26:02Z")
Hell no. All that monthly stuff and you can’t piss off a bridge or go into a bar by yourself or execute the perfect tackle in a ballgame or chew tobacco or smoke cigars or chase some tail or fart for show or snuff out lit cigarettes on your arm with your best buds or change out the heads and manifold on a 454 or do the weenie slap or run an arc welder or spit. Plus, you’d have to have sex with people that do. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/62 "2013-09-25T21:43:44Z")
I can’t say I’d rather be the opposite sex but I’ve sometimes wondered what my life would have been like if I had been born female, it may have been better in some respects, worse in others, but it would certainly have been _different_ _(at least hopefully more differerent than just having registered on the straightdope as Disposable Heroine instead)_. In one of my favourite science-fiction story worlds, The Culture by Iain Banks _(may God bless his atheistic soul)_ every person had the opportunity to easily, casually and reversibly change gender at will, to the extent that the main character of one of the books is considered weird for having never done so. If that was possible it would solve a lot of problems and show that we’re all humans first, men and women second. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/63 "2013-09-25T21:50:49Z")
This is going beyond just gender, I guess, but I’m kind of amazed that so many people seem so comfortable in their own bodies, like they were somehow given the exact body that also happens to correspond to their souls. Although, I guess it makes sense that it should be like that. Only, I don’t feel thay way at all. For me, there seems to have been some mix-up in the paperwork in the body/soul allocation office. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/64 "2013-09-25T22:02:58Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > This is going beyond just gender, I guess, but I’m kind of amazed that so many people seem so comfortable in their own bodies, like they were somehow given the exact body that also happens to correspond to their souls. > > Although, I guess it makes sense that it should be like that. Only, I don’t feel thay way at all. For me, there seems to have been some mix-up in the paperwork in the body/soul allocation office. I kind of get the feeling that for a lot of people its too far of an imaginational _(if thats not a word it should be)_ leap to imagine it _could_ easily have been different and they only look the way they do due to a quirk of genetic fate. Or they simply have no interest in imagining it. But then I’ve always been interested in the concept of bodily transformation and how changing a persons body would affect the person inside. The world certainly treats you differently and has different expectations of you depending on what you look like. As an example one of my Uncles was a large, strong street-fighting man, ugly as sin, rough in manners and attitudes and built like a tank, as a child I was always a little frightened of him. Until the day sneaking into a shed I accidently spied him gently and carefully feeding a nursing lamb from a bottle with every impression of utter delight on his face and making cutesy noises at it. I imagine that gentle nurturing aspect was a side of himself he didn’t feel he could show other people and both he and the world were the worse for it. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/65 "2013-09-25T22:46:17Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > Yargh! There are no poll answers for me! 🙂 > > I was born roughly 1/2-1/2 or 2/3-1/3 female/male, was raised as a male (with breasts and ovaries…whatever), and am now considered a transsexual woman who is fully transitioned. I look at it simply as I was born a girl, I’ve always been a girl, even when nobody knew it, and I tried life as the opposite gender, and I was fucking miserable that way. So I have found out the hard way that I just like being the woman I am, and that’s all there is to it. > [@](#): > > All I’ll say is, each social gender is a totally different world. The stories I can tell, and have, told. _Take a little trip back with father Teiresias Listen to the old one speak of all he has lived through I have crossed between the poles Once a man like the sea I raged Once a woman like the earth I gave But there is in fact more earth than sea_ —Genesis ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/66 "2013-09-25T22:48:58Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Plus, you’d have to have sex with people that do. No you wouldn’t. 😛 “Hello? _Gay_.” —Willow Rosenberg ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/67 "2013-09-25T23:03:11Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > This is going beyond just gender, I guess, but I’m kind of amazed that so many people seem so comfortable in their own bodies, like they were somehow given the exact body that also happens to correspond to their souls. Just like the puddle of water that somehow seems perfectly designed to exactly fit the hole in the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/68 "2013-09-25T23:28:02Z")
> [@](#): > > Quoth **Una** : > > I was born roughly 1/2-1/2 or 2/3-1/3 female/male, was raised as a male (with breasts and ovaries…whatever), and am now considered a transsexual woman who is fully transitioned. Wait… If you have naturally-occurring breasts and ovaries, and you regard yourself as a woman, how is that “trans”? Isn’t that cisgender (peculiar upbringing aside)? ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2013, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/69 "2013-09-25T23:32:50Z")
A g/f made me up once, I was the ugliest object on earth you could imagine so I say (for me) being a guy would be much less stressful than a confused/crazy woman. Also I have no idea how women can do what you do with our appendages, though I’m very grateful for it. I also love your auxiliary zones so, if I had to be a woman, I think I would concentrate on those. As to the nature/nurture aspect: I was always into girls from when I can remember. Boys were mates who I played rugby with and compared porn mags with. There were a couple of high school guys who, looking back, were maybe into me. They didn’t play rugby but would often give me hugs and invites to their homes. IDK. We were always very platonic; a bit frustrating for them, perhaps, sorry guys. I do get hit by on a lot of guys, and I find it difficult to reject them as it isn’t in my nature to be homophobic. Live and let live, I believe. I should probably be clearer when it happens - is there a way to do that without hurting their feelings? The “I’m not gay!” reply seems a bit tactless, as I would probably say it like I was offended. I’m not. It comes across as a compliment more than anything. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/70 "2013-09-26T00:06:13Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > I am extremely surprised to see that everyone is mainly voting to stay the way they are. I can’t imagine wanting to be a woman. It’s good to know that there are enough benefits to balance out the biological and sociological crap that come from being a chick. No, it’s not amazing at all, unless you imagine that people’s CURRENT minds are being put in a body of a different gender. Your mind is a product of your body (not just your brain, but you hormones, glands, etc.) If someone is BORN female, or male, you have to imagine that they’d have all the right female developmental genes and hormones. They would NOT be the same person, but they’d be comfy because they’d be adapted to it, plus they’d get all the cultural signals and training that would make them grow up comfy with their bodies. So I’d say it’s not remarkable at all. It reminds me of the old saw in evolutionary theory about the puddle of water that marvels at how precisely the rock it’s resting is has molded itself to the exact dimensions of the puddle. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/71 "2013-09-26T00:13:30Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Just like the puddle of water that somehow seems perfectly designed to exactly fit the hole in the ground. Ever notice how perfectly everything fills in the space it would leave if it weren’t there? ---
**Author:** ![Arcite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/67e7ee/32.png) [@Arcite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arcite)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/72 "2013-09-26T00:59:35Z")
Well, I, for one, am surprised, even given the makeup of the SDMB, at how many herbly “This is What a Feminist Looks Like”-shirt-wearing sackless libtard males have posted in here about how they’d never want to be a woman because women are so horrifically oppressed by teh patreearkeez here in Amerikkka. And along those lines, I’m also surprised that not a single male has speculated on how it might, just might, be nice to be an attractive young woman for whom the world is her oyster. While I personally would not, to use the OP’s phrase, rather be the opposite sex, I’ve often envied attractive women, who, even in this day and age, have the option, if they play their cards right, of simply marrying a male doctor, lawyer, businessman, or engineer, and being a housewife, not having to deal with the stresses and vagaries of a career. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/73 "2013-09-26T17:17:54Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Wait… If you have naturally-occurring breasts and ovaries, and you regard yourself as a woman, how is that “trans”? Isn’t that cisgender (peculiar upbringing aside)? I’m intersex; I have other parts too, even if they didn’t work. I don’t have a uterus and the ovaries are not fertile, nor completely formed, so I will never have a period. Nor could I ever have children using the male parts, and my chromosomes would not match with other human beings. Someone joked that being half-and-half could be fun - it’s not. You’re not “all of the above”, you’re really “none of the above” and it’s quite lonely. I was raised male then changed to female socially, family-wise, work-wise, legally, and in every other way possible. So I am technically an intersex transwoman. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/74 "2013-09-26T17:22:59Z")
> [@Arcite](#): > > And along those lines, I’m also surprised that not a single male has speculated on how it might, just might, be nice to be an attractive young woman for whom the world is her oyster. While I personally would not, to use the OP’s phrase, rather be the opposite sex, I’ve often envied attractive women, who, even in this day and age, have the option, if they play their cards right, of simply marrying a male doctor, lawyer, businessman, or engineer, and being a housewife, not having to deal with the stresses and vagaries of a career. When I became female, to be brutally honest, I also became attractive. I always was a very feminine, slight, small “male” with breasts. As a woman I look like an athletic 30-something woman, with small tummy and great legs, I smile all the time because I’m just so happy, and doors started opening for me once that happened. I receive a lot of feminine privilege, and I soak it up. I’ve had a lot of people make passes at me, but not from anyone rich enough to make me a pampered housewife, LOL. I’ve also now officially been sexually discriminated against at work several times, and sexually harassed by clients twice. It’s give and take. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/75 "2013-09-26T21:19:09Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > When I became female, to be brutally honest, I also became attractive. I always was a very feminine, slight, small “male” with breasts. As a woman I look like an athletic 30-something woman, with small tummy and great legs, I smile all the time because I’m just so happy, and doors started opening for me once that happened. I receive a lot of feminine privilege, and I soak it up. > > I’ve had a lot of people make passes at me, but not from anyone rich enough to make me a pampered housewife, LOL. > > I’ve also now officially been sexually discriminated against at work several times, and sexually harassed by clients twice. It’s give and take. I’ve always thought that transexuals _(terminology?)_ are the best people to ask about gender issues, having actually experienced life as both genders. And I’ve always always believed its pretty much give and take as you state, both genders have advantages and disadvantages in life. I also find it kind of interesting that both options regarding ‘I wish I had been born the opposite gender’ are currently sitting at equal numbers, and surprisingly high numbers at that, assuming everyone voting is being honest, dissatisfaction with current gender seems to be quite high, at least if the straightdope is anything like a representative sample of the population. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/76 "2013-09-26T21:33:57Z")
> [@Una\_Persson](#): > > When I became female, to be brutally honest, I also became attractive. I always was a very feminine, slight, small “male” with breasts. As a woman I look like an athletic 30-something woman, with small tummy and great legs, I smile all the time because I’m just so happy, and doors started opening for me once that happened. I receive a lot of feminine privilege, and I soak it up. This made me happy. I’m so glad to hear you are finally able to be comfortable in your skin. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/77 "2013-09-26T21:35:23Z")
> [@Sudden\_Kestrel](#): > > Since my interests and aspirations align more closely with those associated with traditional male roles, I’d gladly have switched genders at birth. I would have fit into society a lot better as a male, I think. Yeah, this. I’m generally a pretty happy person and I have a good life, but all things considered I think being born male would have fit me better. ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/78 "2013-09-26T21:46:09Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > It’s just if any all-knowing power asked me my opinion at birth, I’d choose man. This. It’s just easier. People don’t enquire about the state of your womb like it’s their business. You get to have a “wife”, and she bears you children so you don’t have to fuck up your body and career. No bleeding all over the place. No endless thinking about if wearing this is appropriate or it makes you a whore or a schoolmarm. People don’t assume you can’t parallel park, or jump start a car, or do basic maths or perform completely basic functions of everyday life. If you aren’t ridiculously OTT nice that’s ok because you’re just business-like, you’re not derogated for it. You don’t feel social pressure to smear colours all over your face like a deranged 5 year old with finger paints, or to deform your feet and back with ridiculous shoes. You are the default, the actor, not the aberration and the passive decoration. I’ll stop here, this could literally go on forever. I’m sure there are things men need to contend with, but on balance they simply have it better. I just don’t want to be one, because I am me. But I’d really like a “wife”. If someone could just stay home and clean and bear my children and look after them and hand me a drink when I come home from my interesting & rewarding job that would be great. (It’s tongue in cheek, relax. But I would like a “wife” though. Please?) ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/79 "2013-09-26T21:53:41Z")
> [@gracer](#): > > It’s just easier. People don’t enquire about the state of your womb like it’s their business. You get to have a “wife”, and she bears you children so you don’t have to fuck up your body and career. No bleeding all over the place. No endless thinking about if wearing this is appropriate or it makes you a whore or a schoolmarm. People don’t assume you can’t parallel park, or jump start a car, or do basic maths or perform completely basic functions of everyday life. If you aren’t ridiculously OTT nice that’s ok because you’re just business-like, you’re not derogated for it. You don’t feel social pressure to smear colours all over your face like a deranged 5 year old with finger paints, or to deform your feet and back with ridiculous shoes. You are the default, the actor, not the aberration and the passive decoration. I’ll stop here, this could literally go on forever. Understanding this is tongue in cheek, in all fairness I have to say I’ve experienced almost none of these things. But then again, I’m a cantankerous sort and don’t give a damn what the world expects of me. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8e7dd6/32.png) [@gracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gracer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551/80 "2013-09-26T22:43:20Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > Understanding this is tongue in cheek, in all fairness I have to say I’ve experienced almost none of these things. But then again, I’m a cantankerous sort and don’t give a damn what the world expects of me. 😃 Then why your earlier post? (Non-gotcha & non-snarky, just curious. :)) Why would being male fit you better if it’s not for society’s expectations? The expectations are apparently such that they could persuade you to choose to be male? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-be-the-opposite-sex/669551.md?page=5)