# Would you rather have a sonic screwdriver or an infinite wardrobe? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 8, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851 "2015-12-08T20:41:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/1 "2015-12-08T20:41:29Z")
To reward you for your part in averting the [Apocalypse of 524,288 Michelle Jennekes,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMgmYutL9W0) Athena has directed Rhymer Enterprises to not only call off the band of thugs scheduled to rough you up tomorrow morning, but also to give you a reward: either an infinite wardrobe or a sonic screwdriver. Choose the infinite wardrobe, and you get what looks like an ordinary leather belt in your size. But if you put on that belt and [twirl about like Wonder Woman](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RzfLXzebs4), and you’ll find yourself arrayed in, oh, whatever the heck you feel like wearing–anything from sweats and sneakers to a tophat and tails. You’ll never have to do laundry again, as the twirl-change always provides you with perfectly clean and dry duds; and while the created clothes are not indestructible, the belt itself is, so you’ll never have to buy new clothes again either. You still might want to go shopping from time to time, just to see what’s out there, but that’s on you. No, the magic belt does not transform you into a superstrong superfast siuperbusty Amazon, or any other sort of Amazon. If it did I would have led with that. Your other option is a sonic screwdriver [exactly like the Tenth Doctor’s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-HhB_I8pLM). (More discreet than Eleven’s, and of course there never was a Twelfth Doctor). Using Time Lord technology that might as well be magic, your screwdriver – or sonic probe, if you’re a fuddy-duddy–will let you scan for things as exotic as dark matter or as prosaic as studs in your wall. You can instantly diagnose any problem in any mechanical or electronic device; pick locks; blow shit up; and so on. And no, it does not work on wood, i don’t know why you think it would. What’s your choice, and why? ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/2 "2015-12-08T20:43:59Z")
Wardrobe, definitely. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/3 "2015-12-08T20:46:36Z")
Screwdriver. I could open up a fixit (or “diagnosit”) shop and make a killing. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/4 "2015-12-08T20:48:00Z")
Can you take the infinite wardrobe clothes off and sell them? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/5 "2015-12-08T20:51:27Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > Wardrobe, definitely. > [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Screwdriver. I could open up a fixit (or “diagnosit”) shop and make a killing. I want wisecracks from both of you. Wisecracks NOW, or I [del]shoot Legolas in the face[/del] release Legolas unharmed. [You know who I am.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG_ZrvyQEHM) > [@Slash1972](#): > > Can you take the infinite wardrobe clothes off and sell them? If you need money, just say so. I have a job ideal for a person of your expendability. ---
**Author:** ![Corner\_Case](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/corner_case/32/234_2.png) [@Corner\_Case](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corner_Case)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/6 "2015-12-08T20:59:14Z")
What if I wear the belt, twirl about, and think of the sonic screwdriver? Will I end up naked but sporting a very nice and useful probe? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/7 "2015-12-08T21:01:30Z")
> [@Corner\_Case](#): > > What if I wear the belt, twirl about, and think of the sonic screwdriver? Will I end up naked but sporting a very nice and useful probe? Do you not know the difference between clothing and screwdrivers? I am reducing your oatmeal-raisin cookie ration by 67% for asking stupid questions. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/8 "2015-12-08T21:10:44Z")
I’ll take the screwdriver, because what need have I for an infinite wardrobe when I make anything I wear look _damn_ fine. ---
**Author:** ![Slash1972](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slash1972/32/6461_2.png) [@Slash1972](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slash1972)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/9 "2015-12-08T21:13:17Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > If you need money, just say so. I have a job ideal for a person of your expendability. Well, I was gonna twirl up a nice Christmas sweater for you, but NOW I’M NOT GONNA! ---
**Author:** ![Reluctant\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@Reluctant\_A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reluctant_A)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/10 "2015-12-08T21:14:24Z")
A sonic screwdriver, according to my understanding of what it does, based on that virtually context-less YouTube video (I do not watch that show), strikes me as one of the most useless things I could own, unless I decided to become an adventurer and/or a master criminal. I might, as **iiandyiiii** suggested, be able to monetize such a thing, if I were otherwise handy, but I’m not. So, fuck a sonic screwdriver. I guess I’ll take the infinite wardrobe, by default. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/11 "2015-12-08T21:25:46Z")
I like working with tools, so having an ultimate magical multi-tool would be spiffing. I don’t give a damn for clothing. Casual pants and t-shirts, and I’ve thrown out t-shirts by the dozens already. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/12 "2015-12-08T22:35:33Z")
To heck with the wardrobe. I’ll move to a warm climate. I look just fine nekkid, anyway. I have no idea what to do with the screwdriver, I’m not at all handy. But I’m fairly sure a nekkid woman with a fancy pants screwdriver could find a fella to operate it for her. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/13 "2015-12-08T22:38:49Z")
I’d take the wardrobe. I’m not a fancy dressers, and generally don’t care what I look like. But, perhaps for that reason, an instant suit, tie, and shirt that doesn’t need ironing sounds fantastic. And no laundry, ever. ---
**Author:** ![Reluctant\_A](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@Reluctant\_A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reluctant_A)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/14 "2015-12-08T22:52:32Z")
Wait, do I have to be witnessed doing the spinning thing? Because, if so, I change my mind. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/15 "2015-12-08T22:54:53Z")
I’ll take the 524,288 Michelle Jennekes. It’ll be the happiest end of the world ever! ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/16 "2015-12-08T23:22:45Z")
Can a give a twirl to grant myself a utility belt that includes the screwdriver? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/17 "2015-12-08T23:26:52Z")
Wardrobe! How cool would travel be without packing clothes? And it’d be awesome not to have to worry about if I need a coat or not. ---
**Author:** ![CT\_Damsel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CT\_Damsel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CT_Damsel)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2015, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/18 "2015-12-08T23:48:56Z")
The sonic screwdriver please. I would rather vanquish than be a fancy dresser. Also I have plenty of clothes. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/19 "2015-12-09T00:51:37Z")
I’d rather have an infinite screwdriver and a sonic wardrobe. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/20 "2015-12-09T01:38:10Z")
> [@Corner\_Case](#): > > What if I wear the belt, twirl about, and think of the sonic screwdriver? Will I end up naked but sporting a very nice and useful probe? I’d be _extremely_ apprehensive as to \*where \*would I wind up “sporting” such a probe if otherwise nude, but if that’s your thing… Not that there’s anything wrong with it… > [@even\_sven](#): > > Wardrobe! How cool would travel be without packing clothes? And it’d be awesome not to have to worry about if I need a coat or not. Was going to wonder about the risk of having them lose your magic belt when they make you take it off at the airport checkpoint, but I realized at least you would normally expect to get to the other side of the nakedscan device to pick it up. They probably would not let you take the sonic screwdriver as carry-on _at all._ On the third hand, I would not count on TSA noticing a small tactical nuke on a less than average day, so it’s kind of a wash… I am no clothes horse, but I detest being stymied by the proliferation of “not user serviceable” technology. I believe the sonic screwdriver would help a lot with the later source of frustration. I also am willing to make a commitment if so required to not attempt to incorporate it into a pair of Sonic RayBan Wayfarers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851.md?page=2)