# Would you rather have a sonic screwdriver or an infinite wardrobe? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 8, 2015, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851 "2015-12-08T20:41:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/41 "2015-12-09T19:00:24Z")
> [@Corner\_Case](#): > > Cum see, cum sigh … They’re both tools in the hands of the right person. And my ma always told me not to take cookies from strange men. > Gosh, I hope I spelled that right! :eek: You did not. Anyway, all you hosers who have been trying to game the system will receive a visit from the flaming mosquitoes. Abusing Athena’s largesse is not without consequence. By contrast, the people who played honestly and forthrightly will receive a visit from a Paget Brewster model comfortbot, which will be delivering their choice of a Legion flight ring or a Starfleet food replicator. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/42 "2015-12-09T21:45:45Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > If the problem is that the screen has been shattered, the sonic is the wrong tool. I’m not so sure. The video you posted shows the Screwdriver repairing a piece of barbed wire with a ~1 cm gap in it. The two pieces don’t move relative to each other, so it’s clearly filling the gap with additional metal it got from somewhere, and not just welding the ends together. And the wire doesn’t even get hot, so it must be doing some fancy molecular reorganization stuff. I think shattered glass would be a piece of cake in comparison–it wouldn’t even need new material. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/43 "2015-12-09T22:49:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Are you under the impression that Rhymer Enterprises has a problem with your committing crimes? Of course not. I’m more worried that you’ll use your leverage on me to make me commit crimes. And I don’t want to make that easier by giving you blackmail material. Heck, it’s only because of Athena that I took anything from you guys in the first place. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/44 "2015-12-09T23:09:54Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Of course not. I’m more worried that you’ll use your leverage on me to make me commit crimes. And I don’t want to make that easier by giving you blackmail material. > > Heck, it’s only because of Athena that I took anything from you guys in the first place. > > 😛 Fool of a Noldo! RhE has plenty of professional criminal agents. Why would we want a reluctant amateur? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2015, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/45 "2015-12-09T23:49:21Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Are people really considering the possibilities offered by the screwdriver? Because “free clothes saves me money” becomes kind of superfluous[when you can pick any lock and fuck with any electronic security system…never mind just plain\*\* get cash from ATM\*\*s.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonic_screwdriver#Functions) Yeah, but what happens if I get caught robbing a bank? And I love clothes. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/46 "2015-12-10T00:12:27Z")
OK, being neither a “Whovian” nor a “Wonder Woomian” I need some more details. Can the Sonic Screwdriver fix my car? Without buying parts for it? Can I use it to upgrade the sound system? Can it make airbags? (iow, can it bring a '72 Stingray up to modern standards of safety, comfort, and entertainment?) If I buy an old half-destroyed RV, can I make everything work with it? Does it work instantaneously? Or will repairs take time to occur, or to “cure?” What’s this teleportation ability? Does it only re-route teleporters to my location, or can I use it to get around? Can it be used as a weapon? Does rearranging atoms include, say, giving someone a DVT, or an aortic tear? How close do I have to be? What does “Disclosure and deactivating camouflage” mean? Does it only reveal other people’s or can it make some for me? What the heck does["Using Red Setting or Dampers" mean?](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sonic_screwdriver) Does the belt also make the shoes for the outfit? Can it make roller skates? Will it make glasses/sunglasses with prescription lenses? What about opera glasses? Will it do gloves? Can it make an outfit and a coat, or just the clothing? Can it do, errrrrr, foundation garments? Invisible ones to wear with a bikini? Can the belt produce a wetsuit? Gumby Suit (cold water survival type)? Arctic survival Gear? Can I take the clothing off and wear it again? Are the clothes really there, or is it just producing a hologram around me? Will it make a crown? Emerald necklace? Tennis bracelet? Can it make perfect camoflage? an invisibility cloak? Can it do armor? Bullet proof vest? Bullet proof Opera gown? Can it make a really convincing mask? Will it do a [Wing Suit?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IM1vss7FXs8) Will it include the parachute for landing? (And, can a sonic screwdriver prevent these heinous musical scores from forming on every wingsuit video? Because that would be the deciding factor!) OK, that should be enough for now. I’ll let you know if I have any more questions. . . 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Octarine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/22d042/32.png) [@Octarine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Octarine)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/47 "2015-12-10T01:07:14Z")
The only reason the sonic screwdriver is so useful to the Doctor is because he’s got the Gallifreyan genius to go along with it. Hey, great, now I know that teacher is actually a shape-shifting, poison-spitting alien! So I can solve it . . . how? A TARDIS I’d spring for; a sonic screwdriver is next to useless for any human who isn’t a career criminal, a Mythbuster, someone who constantly locks themselves out of their non-wooden front door, or someone who \* really\* dislikes electronic background noise.\* Laundry, on the other hand, is the physical manifestation of everything I hate about life - right when you’ve finished a load, you start making a new pile of dirty clothes. Plus, I care a reasonable amount about looking spiffy, but hate going clothes shopping and am extraordinarily cheap. Sign me up! \*To be fair, I’m assuming this is the sonic screwdriver that’s been present for the majority of Doctor Who, not the one in the last season or two that the writers use as a glorified magic wand/deus ex machina that can instantly solve any problem. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/48 "2015-12-10T02:51:06Z")
> [@Octarine](#): > > To be fair, I’m assuming this is the sonic screwdriver that’s been present for the majority of Doctor Who, not the one in the last season or two that the writers use as a glorified magic wand/deus ex machina that can instantly solve any problem. As per the OP, it’s as of standard-canon Tenth Doctor (David Tennant, up to 2010). Nifty but not stupidly so. I am assuming Athena will have requested that in the spirit of the reward it be delivered with the instruction manual translated from Old High Gallifreyan. ---
**Author:** ![Isosleepy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/isosleepy/32/479_2.png) [@Isosleepy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isosleepy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/49 "2015-12-10T05:47:20Z")
I reject your artificially binary choice and take both, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/50 "2015-12-10T06:22:00Z")
> [@Isosleepy](#): > > I reject your artificially binary choice and take both, thank you. I think you misunderstand how this whole “gift of God, delivered by her mortal agent, who happens in his off time to run a organization of murderous, thieving, extortionate, murderous, pandering, murderous techomages” means. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/51 "2015-12-10T06:49:25Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > As per **Skald** , the belt is indestructible, which could be useful; if I’m reading you right, and it can become any one of a number of indestructible items… What I meant was, since the belt creates “any outfit” and “any outfit” doesn’t necessarily include a belt, it stands to reason that it can create belt-less outfits. The mentions of boots etc was “other things you would need to remove when going through security”, not that the belt would become boots etc. Since you know you’ll be going through the beeping arches, just ask the belt for an outfit that won’t be a pain in the security. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/52 "2015-12-10T08:08:48Z")
Screwdriver. Shit’s always breaking around my house, and I just love shopping. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/53 "2015-12-10T08:12:52Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yeah, but what happens if I get caught robbing a bank? I’m sure there are all sorts of perfectly legal lucrative uses for the various functions, as well. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/54 "2015-12-10T20:15:47Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > What I meant was, since the belt creates “any outfit” and “any outfit” doesn’t necessarily include a belt, it stands to reason that it can create belt-less outfits. The mentions of boots etc was “other things you would need to remove when going through security”, not that the belt would become boots etc. Since you know you’ll be going through the beeping arches, just ask the belt for an outfit that won’t be a pain in the security. You’re entirely correct, and I have ordered your cheesecake ration doubled to reward your perspicacity. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2015, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/55 "2015-12-10T20:18:05Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yeah, but what happens if I get caught robbing a bank? And I love clothes. Meh. I like you. Just use your one phone call to call Rhymer Enterprises, and we’ll bust out you out of the clink for free. Once. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/56 "2015-12-11T02:56:48Z")
clothes only marginally interest me. Being able to fix/understand/operate anything I come across. How is that even a question? 🙂 with the sonic S I could become a part-time secret agent going around fixing people’s cars and locks and things. It would be like having superman in town except no one would have a clue why things are suddenly working so well. ---
**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2015, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851/57 "2015-12-11T06:12:08Z")
Sonic screwdriver. Then I could use it to bypass the IT bullshit at work and set the clock to the correct time myself without having to contact IT every 3 months. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-rather-have-a-sonic-screwdriver-or-an-infinite-wardrobe/739851.md?page=2)