# Would you reject a potential relationship solely because of his/her voice? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 5, 2014, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374 "2014-12-05T02:56:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/21 "2014-12-05T19:48:47Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > Vocal fry would be a showstopper. Yes. A thousand times yes. That irritates me sooooo much. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/22 "2014-12-05T20:05:39Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > Vocal fry would be a showstopper. Do guys display this affectation much - I mean beside teenage stoners? Blecccch; I wouldn’t even want to be friends with a girl that does this. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/23 "2014-12-05T20:55:16Z")
Its a hard thing to deal with because the standards are so subjective. Some voices get hated by some & loved by some in a very large middle range between the two extremes. Also, personality and speech patterns most definitely enter into the decision process. One person’s “that voice sounds kooky” will almost always ring the Hell out of somebody else’s bell. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2014, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/24 "2014-12-05T21:10:24Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > Do guys display this affectation much - I mean beside teenage stoners? Blecccch; I wouldn’t even want to be friends with a girl that does this. They’re starting to, unfortunately. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Marlonius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@Marlonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlonius)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/25 "2014-12-06T00:08:18Z")
I’ll just add my 2 cents and keep it unanimous here. There are a number of different speech patterns and/or voices I could not overlook. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/26 "2014-12-06T00:53:50Z")
I’m sure anything is a dealbreaker for most people if it’s bad enough. Overweight by 30 lbs? Okay. Overweight by 300 lbs? No. Scratchy voice? Okay. Horrible voice? No. 5-feet-6? Okay. 4-feet-6? No. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/27 "2014-12-06T01:15:53Z")
If their voice annoyed me, I would take it as a sign of imcompatibility. To be honest, it’s hard to imagine me making it past the 2nd date with anyone who offended any of my 5 senses. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/28 "2014-12-06T01:47:28Z")
> [@Idilia\_Dubb](#): > > I always kinda had a thing for Stephen King. I like lanky, gawky, boyish men. But when he speaks, his squeaky voice is a turn-off. Here’s what I mean: [www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9FyLcrXGE](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NV9FyLcrXGE) 1:23:10. 😕 That link goes to “ **The Stand: Part 4** ”. 90+ minutes. What _did_ you mean? ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/29 "2014-12-06T02:01:54Z")
Yes. I had to change jobs because I was forced to work with someone that’s voice really took me to the brink. There is always a voice that will get in the way of feeling any sort of attraction. ---
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/30 "2014-12-06T02:48:40Z")
I could probably deal with a whiny voice if she wasn’t actually whining. I’m married to someone without a distinctive accent/dialect; she grew up in the Baltimore/DC area, but doesn’t have the Bawmer accent. I have a hybrid East TN and NC accent, but it’s not a high pitched twang. Strangely, my youngest son sometimes shows an affectation I sometimes saw where I grew up, namely leaving out consonant sounds in the middle of a multi syllable word. For instance, “Jesse” would come out “Jay”. I see less of it now. He’s spent very little time in my old stomping grounds, so maybe it appears everywhere. So would a Jed Clampett accent be a deal breaker for anyone, even assuming the person were extremely articulate? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/31 "2014-12-06T02:53:56Z")
I have wondered about this, given the number of women of my acquaintance who have horribly grating speaking voices and/or laughs that make them sound like the harpies of hell (there is one at work currently whose giggle [is reminiscent of Woody Woodpecker)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vCbkwSS-qE). If you’re not familiar with Woody’s laugh, start listening at 25 seconds into the video. By good fortune I have been blessed with a spouse who has a pleasant speaking voice and a laugh I love to hear (and to provoke whenever possible). I can’t imagine spending one’s life (or anything more than a long weekend) with a person having highly unpleasant vocal characteristics. Obviously though, some people are really smitten and can overlook the kind of noises that would rapidly drive most to drink or mayhem. ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/32 "2014-12-06T03:26:22Z")
So here is what I’m wondering. Do most people who have annoying voices/laughs know that they do? And if so, can a person do anything about it, to an extent? ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/33 "2014-12-06T03:49:22Z")
I just had a conversation with the attractive girl from work, and I realized it’s just certain phrases that really stand out. The worst one is the simple conversation filler “yeah,” which most people pronounce ya or yeh, but she says hhnnyaah, with a sort of descending pitch. It would make a good school-yard taunt: My dad makes more money than your dad hhnnyaah hhnnyaah hhnnyaah! ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/34 "2014-12-06T04:17:00Z")
I’ve met several girls with a distinct speech impediment, and I thought it was a turn-on. But a voice with a certain unpleasant tone would be irritating. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/35 "2014-12-06T04:19:44Z")
Yep. ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/36 "2014-12-06T06:38:43Z")
I’m lucky that my wife has a very pleasant speaking voice (though she doesn’t like the sound of her own voice). I watch a lot of a tech podcast network called [Twit.tv](http://Twit.tv), and they have various tech writers as guests, some of whom have voices that really grate. For instance, Harry McCracken speaks in a monotone. - the poor man has absolutely no variation in pitch to his voice, and you wonder if he was born deaf and his hearing was restored after he had learned to speak. Or this other tech writer, Jolee something, has the worst case of “baby doll voice” I’ve ever heard, and while she is brilliant, it reduces her apparent intelligence by at least 50 IQ points, and there was some significant cognitive dissonance connecting the words being spoken with the cartoon voice delivering them. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/37 "2014-12-06T07:10:52Z")
It would probably depend mostly on whether it’s an affectation/choice or a physical issue. ---
**Author:** ![Idilia\_Dubb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c2a13f/32.png) [@Idilia\_Dubb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idilia_Dubb)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/38 "2014-12-06T08:26:28Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > 😕 That link goes to “ **The Stand: Part 4** ”. 90+ minutes. What _did_ you mean? **Ambivalid** , you can use the timer bar under the vid stream at YouTube to go directly to the scene in question. I didn’t mean for you to watch the entire 90 minutes! 🙂 It’s just a short scene, under 5 minutes, in which Stephen King speaks his lines in a high-pitched voice. I linked to it to show that he’s a likeable guy but his voice lessens his attractiveness. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/39 "2014-12-06T10:52:08Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > If accent is factored in to the question then hell yes. I’m extremely sensitive / attuned to accents and wouldn’t consider dating someone who speaks with an annoying (to me) regional accent / dialect. Agreed. I hope I don’t have to start dating because the local area has a lot of transplants whose accent really turns me off. > [@CookingWithGas](#): > > Vocal fry would be a showstopper. “Vocal fry” would mean what now? ---
**Author:** ![mugsy1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6bbea6/32.png) [@mugsy1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mugsy1)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2014, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374/40 "2014-12-06T11:10:03Z")
The most annoying voice I ever heard was Mary Tyler Moore. If I had been forced to watch her show I think I would have had to smash the TV. I can’t describe how it grated on my nerves. No I could never have dated her, though she was quite pretty. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-reject-a-potential-relationship-solely-because-of-his-her-voice/706374.md?page=3)