# would you report a pedophile coworker ? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 8, 2009, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022 "2009-10-08T04:13:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/61 "2009-10-08T22:06:31Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > So you’re willing to wait around until AFTER he’s already raped a baby (a BABY) to decide wether it’s dangerous to let someone who says he wants to rape babies take care of babies? That’s how the legal system works. Or should we open up a precrime department and fix the world your way? > [@](#): > > Fuck his work history (and I wouldn’t buy his “refusal to act” line for a second…neither would any employer…nor should they). He’s not safe to trust around children. The end. I suppose we’ll just have to agree to disagree. > [@](#): > > Are pedophiles NOT disgusting and creepy in your mind? I think just getting the animal fired would be an example of me showing my utmost restraint and kindness. No. Their desire to maintain intimate relationships with children – yes, that’s disgusting and creepy to me. But no, I don’t classify all pedophiles as disgusting and creepy. Nor would I want anyone to unfairly judge me as a person on just one aspect of my psyche. I don’t automatically classify pedophiles as “animals”; I classify them as human beings who have desires that I simply can’t agree with and find repugnant, but otherwise are no different from anyone else. Some are intelligent, some are not. Some can be excellent businessmen; others should stick to janitorial work. So if you’re asking if “pedophile” automatically triggers a “kick this guy’s ass because he’s completely incapable of contributing anything positive to society and should be wiped off the face of the earth” bell in my head; no, it doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/62 "2009-10-08T22:08:42Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > I read through the OP several times, and nowhere in it does it state that the workplace involves contact with children. > > If we’re going to discuss hypotheticals, then my question to **Diogenes the Cynic** is this: if you _did not_ work in a place that involves contact with children, what would you do if a co-worker informed you that he was a pedophile? Well the OP stated it as “your” workplace. I have a job which involves contact with special needs children, so I would have to report it. I then posed the hypothetical about if the workplace was a daycare to see if it changed anyone’s responses. My answer to your own question is that I would still report it to management or HR because it is a grotesque instance of sexual harrassment. Once again, that would also be an example of me showing restraint. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/63 "2009-10-08T22:12:34Z")
> [@atomicbadgerrace](#): > > That’s how the legal system works. Or should we open up a precrime department and fix the world your way? We’re not talking about the legal system, we’re talking about a workplace. Specifically, we’re talking about whether a business which is entrusted with the care of children should be informed if one of their employees has expressed a desire to rape them. ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/64 "2009-10-08T22:28:15Z")
Entirely irrelevant, but I was abstracting on the john, and it occurs to me that this kind of workplace interaction wouldn’t happen to begin with if the pedophile in question didn’t think you’d believe him when he said he refused to act on his desires. Kind of like if your best friend told you in confidence, “man, your girlfriend is so, so sexy. If you weren’t dating her, I’d hit it so hard. Oh god, I’d love to be with her, but while you’re dating her, I wouldn’t do anything.” Do you still trust them to hang out alone? Anyway, back to the discussion at hand. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/65 "2009-10-08T23:18:52Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > There is a raging thread going on in the pit. > > [This comment ensued](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11640105&postcount=560) > Say you have a co-worker who proudly spills out his inclination to have sex with babies but won’t because its illegal. > > How do you respond ? > > I would report him and do everything I can to ensure he no longer works with me. Report him to both Human Resources at your company, and to the FBI. Since this is IMHO, I believe that the current stance of the SDMB staff on this issue is very wrong. ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/66 "2009-10-08T23:36:55Z")
> [@ghardester](#): > > Report him to both Human Resources at your company, and to the FBI. Again, report him to the FBI _for what_, exactly? Do you envision the conversation between you and the FBI going any different than as described in the OP? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/67 "2009-10-09T02:18:43Z")
There seems to be a general consensus that you only call police to report a crime. Is a loud verbal domestic dispute a crime? Where there is smoke there may be fire, right ? That certainly gets reported with numerous police responses. Any pedophile represents a danger to the weakest most vulnerable members of our society. Even if he declares to remain abstinent in light of the law. We know how successful abstinence programs work. Perhaps calling the police would be futile. Perhaps better would be calling the child care authorities who deal with single mothers who might be targeted by this guy. I don’t know, but I believe people should be warned. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/68 "2009-10-09T02:37:03Z")
Let’s see. Person A says that there’s nothing immoral about stealing from big companies and he sure could use the cash, but won’t steal since it’s illegal. Giving this person a job involving handling large sums of money would be goddamned stupid. After the fact, the most clueless people in the universe (other than the ones who gave him the job) would be asking “Just what were you thinking?” Person B openly admits to wanting to have rape babies for the purposes of sexual gratification, but says he won’t because it’s illegal. How clueless do you need to be to trust this person around children? Doesn’t really matter that you can’t prove that he HAS done it. He admits the desire and interest. So while he cannot be locked up, he should certainly be prevented from being in a position where it may be possible for him to fulfill his desires. As for his Employers, this person has, by dint of openly stating this preference, made himself a liability to the company. Both for the purposes of employee morale and company reputation. God forbid they have a “Bring your child to work Day” or company picnic, because his fellow employees are likely to have severe, and completely justified, reservations about his presence. Just as the company would have justifiable concerns about their liability in those situations. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/69 "2009-10-09T03:00:49Z")
> [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](#): > > There seems to be a general consensus that you only call police to report a crime. > > Is a loud verbal domestic dispute a crime? Where there is smoke there may be fire, right ? That certainly gets reported with numerous police responses. It’s disturbing the peace, which can actually be a misdemeanor, depending on where you live. Now, calling the cops because you overheard the husband say “You know, sometimes I could just kill that woman”, well, that would be silly. > [@The Flying Dutchman](#): > > Any pedophile represents a danger to the weakest most vulnerable members of our society. Even if he declares to remain abstinent in light of the law. We know how successful abstinence programs work. > > Perhaps calling the police would be futile. Perhaps better would be calling the child care authorities who deal with single mothers who might be targeted by this guy. > > I don’t know, but I believe people should be warned. Warned that there are pedophiles in the world? We know. Like I said, if the person works with children, then their employers should absolutely be alerted. But do you propose we start locking people up or targeting them for harassment based on stuff they might do someday? ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/70 "2009-10-09T05:07:23Z")
> [@atomicbadgerrace](#): > > Kind of like if your best friend told you in confidence, “man, your girlfriend is so, so sexy. If you weren’t dating her, I’d hit it so hard. Oh god, I’d love to be with her, but while you’re dating her, I wouldn’t do anything.” Do you still trust them to hang out alone? “Dude, your girlfriend was like so hot. I totally wanted to do her. Too bad she married that Richard guy. Ha ha, yeah, you know that won’t last. Hey – chick or no chick, we’ll always be bros, right?” Were you right in trusting them to hang out alone? Should you trust him in the future? ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/71 "2009-10-09T05:25:09Z")
In a regular work environment I’d probably report it to HR as a sexual harassment issue. Someone deciding to tell me intimate sexual details about themselves that I’m uncomfortable with gets them reported. I’m pretty comfortable with people talking about their sex lives with me so I’d probably come off as a total douche to said pedophile as I wouldn’t report most other subjects as sexual harassment. I’d likely report anyone telling me they would like to rape someone as well. When I’m at a job I’m there to work not listen to some perverts fantasies. My current job I’d fire them as a business percussion. I work in peoples homes. I have access to hundreds of customers houses. My customers trust me to be honest and safe to have in their homes and sometimes around their children. Reputation is important. If someone is willing to tell me about their sexual fantasies of children its possible they may tell someone besides myself. All my business is from existing customers or new customers through word of mouth. Last thing I’d want is a reputation as that guy who brings pedophiles into peoples homes. That guy who fires pedophiles unfairly is a much better reputation to have. When I was working for Home Depot we had an employee accused of molesting a young girl. It was brought to our(managements) attention in the form of an article in the local paper provided be another employee. We let him go that day. He was brought into an office with the store manager and told his employment was terminated. I do not believe any cause was stated. It simply did not matter whether he did or didn’t do what he was accused of. I have no idea if he was ever found guilty or innocent. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/72 "2009-10-09T06:22:28Z")
Way too many of you guys have bought the propaganda of pedophiles that pedophilia is just another sexual orientation: it’s not. It’s a maladaptation. It’s either desires you don’t want to have, or someone who finds absolutely nothing wrong with it. The fact that this person feels they need to tell someone is enough of an indicator that the person’s pedoerotic desires are quite high. The fact that they had to stipulate that they wouldn’t act on them sounds a lot more like denial to me. I don’t need any other data to assume they might act on their desires. And if they are working with kids, the only way I might not report is if I thought they were getting psychiatric help–I’d let the therapist assume that role, as they know risky behavior better than I. One of the first things they teach a pedophile is that they don’t really like children, they like the feelings they get being around them. A psychologist usually stipulates that the person not work with kids until it is taken care of (if that is at all possible.) Now, mind, there is a difference between admitting wanting to having sex with a kid and finding them attractive. One can find something attractive without wanting to have sex with it. This does happen with plain old “sexual orientation”; heck, I’ve seen hetero posters on here talk about same sexed individuals they find somewhat attractive, as well as the opposite. Also, I almost left out the OCD problem: being scared that you might have sex with children, even though you find the idea appalling. For someone with that disorder, you have to realize that, if you are scared that you might do something, that’s proof that you would do everything in your power not to. But if someone flat out tells me you want to have sex with children? And you’re working with kids? You’d better bet I’ll tell. Not working with kids: well, I’d probably give a psychologist ultimatum first, as there’s less immediate danger. If I can get them to a psychologist by not telling, that would technically be better. Note: The problem with extracting this to what the SDMB staff should do is that everyone who needs to know around here already knows. Calling the police won’t help, as they can’t do anything until a crime is committed. The best course of action, then, is to try and get the offender to admit to a crime (as has happened in other cases), rather than try to get the offender banned. Even if you succeeded, would anyone be any safer? ---
**Author:** ![kombatminipig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5ac83/32.png) [@kombatminipig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kombatminipig)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/73 "2009-10-09T07:37:23Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > You’d “encourage” him to find another job, but you wouldn’t bother to inform his employer that he has stated he wants to rape the childrn he’s entrusted to take care of? Yes, for his own sake. He should question why he is in that line of work, and where it’s going to lead him. But I can’t force him to make the choice. Again, flaming liberal speaking. The oldskool kind of liberal. Personally I’d have little moral problems with beating the living crap out of the individuals who have raped friends of mine, but would that make me unqualified to work in an environment where I come into contact with convicted rapists? I can control my instincts, why shouldn’t he be able to? Slight hyperbole, but merely stating an example. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > “Whether he acts on his instincts?” So you’re willing to wait around until AFTER he’s already raped a baby (a BABY) to decide wether it’s dangerous to let someone who says he wants to rape babies take care of babies? I’m not saying I like the idea, but once again…you’re promoting the punishment of an individual due to what’s inside his head. Lets wander that path a bit further, shall we? Would you like to have him locked up? Forbidden to use the internet? What about castrated? Why don’t we wire him up, so that every time he thinks a sexual thought he gets a nice jolt of electricity. And we kill his cat. What punishment to fit what crime? He has done _nothing_, so what should his punishment be? (For argument’s sake, let’s ignore that he discussed his sexual preferences in the parking lot, which is another cause for censure in itself. Presume that the knowledge of his pedophilia came out indirectly.) ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/74 "2009-10-09T14:23:52Z")
I’m not promoting “punishment,” I’m promoting telling his employer if he works around children. That would be a huge liability for them, especially when he offends (and he WILL offend). ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/75 "2009-10-09T16:39:38Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > For what? What would you tell the cops when you (presumably) called 911? I would tell the police what he had told me. Pedophiles are taken very seriously by police where I live. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11640319&postcount=566](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11640319&postcount=566) I know of that I speak. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11636182&postcount=428](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=11636182&postcount=428) ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/76 "2009-10-09T21:21:53Z")
I wouldn’t report because I’d think of it as a sick joke first. Who goes around telling other people that? Its much more likely he’s an idiot rather than a pedo. Now if I was convinced he was serious, then it be equally likely that I’d be convinced he was serious about not touching any kids, so either way I’m fine with just ignoring him. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/77 "2009-10-09T21:25:21Z")
Glad to know the kiddies can rely on you. ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/78 "2009-10-09T22:32:33Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > I read through the OP several times, and nowhere in it does it state that the workplace involves contact with children. > > If we’re going to discuss hypotheticals, then my question to **Diogenes the Cynic** is this: if you _did not_ work in a place that involves contact with children, what would you do if a co-worker informed you that he was a pedophile? Yes, Dio, what if your job did NOT involve children. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > There is no difference, especially when as the OP as stated, this individual wants to “have sex with” literal infants. Pleas tell me how one can have sex with a baby without raping it. > > An assurance which inspires no confidence whatsoever., > > Material greed and temptation to steal are not psychological disorders. Pedophilia is a sexual pathology, and pedophiles are _never_ safe to trust around children – especially wehn the pedophile in question has been quite brashing in stating that he doesn’t feel like there’s anything wrong with him or with raping toddlers. You are absolutely correct about there being no ‘consensual’ way to have sex with an infant. I see temptation as being temptation. I can only compare types of temptation I have felt. I personally never developed a moral opposition to theft until I forced myself to do so- I think using what others here refer to as CBT, but I am not positive. It just never took before that. As a child, the rewards were worth the risks to me. Over time, I realized that the rewards were not worth the gains consistent with my changed goals and viewpoints, so now I think differently. Now I honor integrity over all else, sometimes to a fault, although I try to temper with kindness, and I think that in the type of world I would now espouse, I should never have been allowed to live. I have no idea if the same sort of change would be possible in someone with the paedo issues, and I don’t really care. But I wouldn’t go farther than reporting them to my boss as a sexual harasser, even if hypocritically compared to other shit I would put up with, as was mentioned by another poster. Oh, and I do agree with the death penalty for child molestation. One year for appeal, _just in case there was error_, then death. Same for rape. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/79 "2009-10-09T23:31:50Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > I read through the OP several times, and nowhere in it does it state that the workplace involves contact with children. > > If we’re going to discuss hypotheticals, then my question to **Diogenes the Cynic** is this: if you _did not_ work in a place that involves contact with children, what would you do if a co-worker informed you that he was a pedophile? > [@gurujulp](#): > > Yes, Dio, what if your job did NOT involve children. He did answer my question (post #62): > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Well the OP stated it as “your” workplace. I have a job which involves contact with special needs children, so I would have to report it. > > I then posed the hypothetical about if the workplace was a daycare to see if it changed anyone’s responses. > > My answer to your own question is that I would still report it to management or HR because it is a grotesque instance of sexual harrassment. > > Once again, that would also be an example of me showing restraint. ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022/80 "2009-10-09T23:58:31Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] Once again, that would also be an example of me showing restraint. [/QUOTE] Why’s that, because you’d _want_ to kick his ass? Why wouldn’t you – because you know you’d get in trouble for it? Well, what reason do we have to believe that you wouldn’t actually do it, besides your word, which doesn’t sound all that convincing? Guess we should report you to the police for the precrime of assault, eh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-report-a-pedophile-coworker/513022.md?page=5)