# Would you shoot child and kill your child in this situation? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [December 2, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759 "2004-12-02T20:57:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2004, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/121 "2004-12-05T02:31:50Z")
Both Adolph and Charlie are conveniantly bullet proof ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2004, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/122 "2004-12-05T06:00:24Z")
Have Charlie shoot the kid free, and then get Hitler to coat him with a thick layer of acid glue. Then hack up Hitler with the chainsaw. (Or a kitchen knife.) I’m dying here. Dying. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/123 "2004-12-05T13:22:49Z")
OK, if you son grows up to be a Human Cannonball in the circus, would you shoot him? In a nice way? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/124 "2004-12-06T13:40:55Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > OK, if you son grows up to be a Human Cannonball in the circus, would you shoot him? In a nice way? My son ran away with the circus briefly. I nearly threw myself into the river! Thanks to hunger and a good, solid Creep-o-meter, he came back after just a couple days. ---
**Author:** ![TLC1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@TLC1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLC1)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/125 "2004-12-06T13:42:01Z")
No one knows what they would do in a situation such as you describe. What ever transpired, it would be a recurring nightmare, for the rest of one’s life. A true no win situation. ---
**Author:** ![davenportavenger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@davenportavenger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davenportavenger)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/126 "2004-12-06T13:55:07Z")
> [@don't ask](#): > > Well if we are going to invoke Hitler - what if a Nazi said you could keep one of your children only and if you didn’t choose he would kill both. Tell him to kill the ugly one. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/127 "2004-12-06T15:06:43Z")
While driving down a deserted country road with your child in the front seat, your car hits a sexy woman and your child, who was not strapped in, flies through the windshield and hits Hitler, who was covered in glue (not the acid kind). Not having any baking powder, nor any arms, you see Charles Manson with a chainsaw. Do you let him use the chainsaw to separate your child from Hitler? ---
**Author:** ![Jon\_the\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Jon\_the\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jon_the_Geek)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/128 "2004-12-06T15:54:36Z")
> [@TLC1](#): > > No one knows what they would do in a situation such as you describe. What ever transpired, it would be a recurring nightmare, for the rest of one’s life. A true no win situation. Is this considered a [hijack](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289406), since it actually addresses the OP, which is clearly not the purpose of this thread? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/129 "2004-12-06T16:13:39Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > While driving down a deserted country road with your child in the front seat, your car hits a sexy woman and your child, who was not strapped in, flies through the windshield and hits Hitler, who was covered in glue (not the acid kind). Not having any baking powder, nor any arms, you see Charles Manson with a chainsaw. Do you let him use the chainsaw to separate your child from Hitler? Or would you fire a Human Cannonball at them? At them _ **ALLLLLL???** _ ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/130 "2004-12-06T16:22:44Z")
I’ll still try and save the child with all my strength, getting burnt to death in the process. But if the OP turns up, I’ll shoot him with the gun, but only in the knee as it is wrong to wish death on someone unless they are Hitler or Charlse Manson or glued to either of them. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/131 "2004-12-06T16:29:26Z")
Everyone is missing the main point. You can’t shoot the kid because that would release the juices. A quick sear on the outside and then a long, slow cook seals in the flavour. ---
**Author:** ![TLC1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@TLC1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TLC1)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/132 "2004-12-06T16:32:16Z")
> [@Jon the Geek](#): > > Is this considered a [hijack](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=289406), since it actually addresses the OP, which is clearly not the purpose of this thread? 🙂 I don’t know. I am new here and am still learning the “sacred rules” I guess. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/133 "2004-12-06T16:34:16Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Everyone is missing the main point. > > You can’t shoot the kid because that would release the juices. A quick sear on the outside and then a long, slow cook seals in the flavour. No Vidalia Onion?!? :eek: You _gotta have_ Vidalia Onion! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/134 "2004-12-06T16:50:51Z")
> [@Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor](#): > > No Vidalia Onion?!? :eek: > > You _gotta have_ Vidalia Onion! And olive oil. But no Popeye! A good rub of spices mixed in with the olive oil (I don’t like dry rubs) makes the kid o’ so savoury! 🙂 Hopefully, you’ve been feeding them on corn meal and making sure they get plenty of exercise. . Not too much exercise, though! A healthy balance of force feeding and moderate activity ensures a well marbled slice of meat. Free range children are the best, provided the fat content is high enough. Plus, it satifies the whole “quality of life” question that always comes up in these discussions. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/135 "2004-12-06T17:24:07Z")
I used to hate this stuff but I’ve taken a more relaxed view. The dilemma reminds me of the movie _The Hitcher_. The dilemma there was that evil Rutger Hauer had tied sweet and innocent Jennifer Jason-Leigh between the rear axles of two semi trucks. He had the engine running, transmission in gear and he taunted colossal dumbass C. Thomas Howell to shoot and kill him. CTH knew that if he did so that RH’s foot would slip off the clutch and JJL would be pulled apart. Naturally CTH does nothing and JJL was presumably dismembered. That pissed me off to know end when I saw it. I later realized the problem wasn’t the dilemma but CTH’s simpering, mewling refusal to take action. Screw that. He should have taken charge of the situation. “Fuck you RH! I’m not going to kill you, hell no. I won’t let you get off that easy. Shut off the engine or I’ll empty this goddamn gun into your fuckin’ nutsack. I might save a few rounds to take off your arms just below the shoulders so you end up a dickless, armless freak.” Now I admit this doesn’t apply to the OP which reminds me of a scene in _The Great Waldo Pepper_. Robert Redford has to bash Edward Herrmann in the head with an axe handle when he’s stuck in a burning airplane, screaming for Redford’s character to not let him burn. Slack jawed yokels, who in fact caused the fire, stand gawking but not making a move to help the desperate Redford. This is quite different than the “emotional pornography” of _The Hitcher_ and plays as quite a dramatic and pivotal scene in the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/136 "2004-12-06T19:08:17Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > Hey, merry fucking christmas, dude! Made me laugh out loud. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/137 "2004-12-06T19:12:10Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I happen to have some baking soda in my pants. I can put out the fire with the extinguisher and then use the base to neutralize the acid glue. > [@pravnik](#): > > Well, what if chemical A was water and chemical B was oil? 😃 I know, instead of water, we’ll make “chemical A” vineger. Then we take some baking soda and vineager and shake it up in a bottle and choke the flames with the resulting carbon dioxide. Or we can dump the vinegar down **Diogenes’** pants and watch the hilarity ensue. Alternately we mix the vinegar and oil and then go and collect some greens in the forest and make a nice salad to go with are now medium rare child steak. ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/138 "2004-12-06T19:56:37Z")
Fortunately, the car is a pre-1970 Corvette (that’s right, a 1960’s style “Sting Ray”\*). Being made of Fiberglass, the fire warms up and softens the 'glass enough for me to yank the dash out of the car. I then use the gun to make sure I get replacement value of the car from my insurance guy. Peace - DESK \*_I am Soooo sorry for that. Please forgive me_ ---
**Author:** ![mrklutz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/139 "2004-12-06T20:25:50Z")
> [@Hoopy Frood](#): > > Or we can dump the vinegar down **Diogenes’** pants and watch the hilarity ensue. **Dio** , I think you have a contender for a new sig line here. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759/140 "2004-12-06T22:08:13Z")
This doesn’t have to end in tragedy. Let’s say the wreck happens in Minnesota, the “Land of 10,000 lakes”. You jump out panicing but you spot a lake about 100 yards away. You can run the 100 yard dash in less than 10 seconds so you pick the car up with the kid in it and run. It takes you almost 15 seconds to get there because of the weight of the car which disappoints you but the kid is still alive. You look for a shallow spot and throw the car into the water. The fire is still raging and the car won’t sink so you jump into the water and shoot a bunch of holes in the roof. You flip the car upside down and it finally sinks and puts the fire out. Now the kid is underwater and drowning. You pull the car ashore and the water rushes out but the kid is still trapped and in pain but still alive. You have an idea. There is a chain in the trunk. You open the hood, remove the fan belt and replace it with the chain. You attach the chain to the dashboard to make a primitive “Jaws of Life”. You try to start the engine but it won’t start because it was underwater. You get out the soggy owners manual, turn to the engine repair section and get to work. Finally, the engine roars to life with the chain ripping the dashboard apart. You child is free. You hear the faint words that makes parenting worthwhile: “Thank you Daddy.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-shoot-child-and-kill-your-child-in-this-situation/277759.md?page=8)