# Would you socialize with an anti-vaxxer that you kind of have to socialize with? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 25, 2015, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923 "2015-03-25T03:54:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/21 "2015-03-25T11:45:00Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Just have your husband tell them that you’ve got such a terrible racking cough, you don’t want to expose the family to what could potentially be a life-threatening illness. On the principal of anti/vax alone, if the OP’s family is properly vaccinated then this should not be a issue. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/22 "2015-03-25T11:51:20Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > The fact that someone doesn’t vaccinate is bothersome from a health standpoint, but if you can have a conversation with him about anything else, I’d personally let it slide. If he is the type to turn a discussion of the weather into a political discussion, then I wouldn’t want to be around him even if it were an opinion I agreed with. This. A fellow I used to work with was an anti-vaxxer, but was otherwise friendly and decent to be around. He eventually figured out that people didn’t want to hear his anti-vax viewpoints, so he kept quiet about them, which made him OK to be around. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/23 "2015-03-25T11:52:26Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > As a general rule, when it comes to employment I don’t do anything they don’t pay me for, unless I want to. That’s always been my attitude. Life is short; do things you enjoy. “Sorry, we already have plans for that evening.” “Um, I didn’t mention a specific date.” ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/24 "2015-03-25T11:57:01Z")
I have a good friend who is not anti-vaxx - but one of those “move the vaccines around” people. We just don’t discuss it. I have friends with all sorts of nutty ideas. I’m still friends with my “eat the rich” friends. And with the conservatives who think gay marriage threatens their marriage. ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/25 "2015-03-25T12:02:04Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > As a general rule, when it comes to employment I don’t do anything they don’t pay me for, unless I want to. This especially includes Christmas dinner, even in December, if it’s after working hours. But… but… but… _Career Limiting Move!_ or something. > [@Dangerosa](#): > > I have a good friend who is not anti-vaxx - but one of those “move the vaccines around” people. I don’t get how people can think that pushing out a kid somehow grants one medical expertise. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/26 "2015-03-25T12:06:54Z")
How could someone as gosh-darn it right and pure of heart make idle small talk with an ignorant, useless piece of human scum that is so far beneath you? Shame and shun the loathesome creature, and keep your righteous purity distance from his polluted heresy. Or, you know, get over yourself. It doesn’t actually hurt you to be friendly acquaintances with someone you don’t 100% agree with. ---
**Author:** ![Alley\_Dweller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alley_dweller/32/430_2.png) [@Alley\_Dweller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alley_Dweller)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/27 "2015-03-25T12:11:38Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Just have your husband tell them that you’ve got such a terrible racking cough, you don’t want to expose the family to what could potentially be a life-threatening illness. What to you is a life-threatening illness, to an anti-vaxxer is a wonderful opportunity to expose their children to a disease so that they can acquire _natural_ immunity. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/28 "2015-03-25T12:15:25Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > I can socialize with almost anyone. I’m oddly good at making small talk with strangers (it’s only around family that I get shy.) That said, I would avoid socializing with people whose unvaccinated infant is severely ill. I’m not afraid of catching anything from the poor child but I’d certainly be afraid of giving him or his parents one of my chronic sinus/bronchial infections. > > I would have a previous family engagement, for the next five or six years, at least. Vaccinated kids aren’t any less likely to catch a sinus/bronchial infection? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/29 "2015-03-25T12:35:11Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > Just because some anti-vaxxers are irresponsible and selfish doesn’t mean that all of them are. Yes, they are irresponsible and selfish. All of them. That said, sometimes you have to deal with annoying people you don’t agree with. Go to the boss’s dinner thing and keep the small talk off the hot-button issues. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/30 "2015-03-25T12:42:54Z")
I socialize with anyone if I enjoy their company, I stay away from topics I know we strongly disagree on. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/31 "2015-03-25T12:47:45Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > On the principal of anti/vax alone, if the OP’s family is properly vaccinated then this should not be a issue. Newborns can’t be vaccinated against measles or whooping cough and depend on the immunity of those around them. And even when they’re older, vaccination doesn’t provide 100% protection for everyone (this is part of Vaccine 101). If boss and spouse have picked up something nasty from their unvaccinated kids, there’s a risk it could be transmitted via the OP and her spouse to their newborn. Not a likely scenario, but possible. **CW** can go to the, ahem, Chrismas party and avoid all but the obligatory hello, how are you with the boss (or just excuse herself from going because of illness), and either option should be fine. If the boss is one of the preachy antivax sort and would be likely to harangue the OP about not vaccinating her kids, then definitely find an excuse to stay at home. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/32 "2015-03-25T12:49:51Z")
I’d socialize with them, but I’d be tempted to cough in their faces once in a while. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/33 "2015-03-25T13:05:44Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Newborns can’t be vaccinated against measles or whooping cough and depend on the immunity of those around them. And even when they’re older, vaccination doesn’t provide 100% protection for everyone (this is part of Vaccine 101). > > If boss and spouse have picked up something nasty from their unvaccinated kids, there’s a risk it could be transmitted via the OP and her spouse to their newborn. Not a likely scenario, but possible. > > **CW** can go to the, ahem, Chrismas party and avoid all but the obligatory hello, how are you with the boss (or just excuse herself from going because of illness), and either option should be fine. If the boss is one of the preachy antivax sort and would be likely to harangue the OP about not vaccinating her kids, then definitely find an excuse to stay at home. OP has no children. She’s concerned that the boss’s newborn, who is sick, may have a serious disease. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/34 "2015-03-25T13:06:17Z")
I’d go but wear a face mask. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/35 "2015-03-25T13:23:50Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > OP has no children. She’s concerned that the boss’s newborn, who is sick, may have a serious disease. Most new mothers are eager for as much advice as they can get from the childless who know how best to raise other people’s children. The OP needs to stay home. Tolerance is one thing; actual human contact with someone who disagrees on anything significant? Not to be borne. Your husband should quit his job, too. He might be contaminated. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/36 "2015-03-25T13:39:42Z")
Go and polite. I disagree with their stance and hope that these people will become better educated but they’re not monsters. They’re concerned about their kids just like everyone else and the only difference is the (mis)information they’re suffering under. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/37 "2015-03-25T14:05:17Z")
I wouldn’t let them or their kids near my kids, if my kids were too young to be vaccinated. If there was some serious and reasonably common vaccine-preventable disease that I hadn’t been able to be vaccinated against, I’d be wary, too. I wouldn’t avoid them for fear of yellow fever, for example, even though I’m not vaccinated against that, since that is unlikely where I am (the US). But if I couldn’t be vaccinated against measles, for example, I’d think twice about socializing with them. Otherwise, I’d just avoid the topic of vaccination. Probably the topic of health and diet in general, since anti-vaxxers tend to have other woo beliefs about health and I do not want to get sucked into conversations about woo health beliefs. I’d privately think they were an idiot for being an anti-vaxxer, but I’d try not to let them know that. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/38 "2015-03-25T14:34:15Z")
> [@Boogly](#): > > Just because some anti-vaxxers are irresponsible and selfish doesn’t mean that all of them are. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/39 "2015-03-25T15:07:11Z")
We (my wife and I) have a friend who’s an anti-vaxxer. Not just in theory – her kids aren’t vaccinated (against anything, as far as I know). We decided that our daughter couldn’t be around her kids until she’d gotten all her vaccines. It sucked, we were sorry, but that’s how it had to be. Our friend’s teenage daughter was really looking forward to babysitting and being around our daughter (and we were looking forward to it also), and her teenage son used to come around all the time – he played basketball in the park behind our house and would stop by before or after his games to change, or to grab a sandwich or hang out on our terrace. Too bad. The whole situation sucked. However, it seems now that our kid is fully vaccinated, our friend isn’t holding the whole thing against us, and all seems to be well again. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923/40 "2015-03-25T15:20:19Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Most new mothers are eager for as much advice as they can get from the childless who know how best to raise other people’s children. Yeah, she doesn’t even have the shop manual and certification training that are given to everyone who gives birth. Her opinions are probably formed from dumb stuff she heard on the Internet! The “intolerance of other beliefs” thing is a red herring here. If I had a friend with Ebola who rubbed his bloody snotrags on every doorknob in his house because he firmly believes it scares away the evil spirits, his “belief” isn’t what would lead me to politely refuse a dinner invitation. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/would-you-socialize-with-an-anti-vaxxer-that-you-kind-of-have-to-socialize-with/715923.md?page=3)